“If you’re gonna be wrong, at least be funny.” – Dr. Freckles
[curated: 4/9/2023]
ANXIOUS PONDERING
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230408_Anxious_Pondering.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
I have no real notes for this one, mostly a random rant …
FIREFLY vs Little House on the Prairie
“Firefly is a better Little House on the Prairie.” – Dr. Freckles
[curated: 4/9/2023]
DARK PRAIRIE: “Dearest Laura …”
Dearest Laura,
I want to …. uh …
Dearest Laura, I need you, you are my ginger-ho.
Dearest Laura, we can strive to be the rulers of the wasteland, our children will live feral lives our mongrel dogs will eat old-English flesh. I will resume my studies, looking into the funeral plan and you can become that HOT TEACHER, filling the spank bank, every boy to a man. And we shall RISE UP like the phoenix after the fire shower and those wolf-rebels will bow to US and be our glower …
I remember you LAURA, when you were young and nice and mild. I remember you when your life was that of a child, and we would fish for big cats and you would mock my pole, and we would laugh for hours, along the meadow creek. I remember that time the whore doctor aborted that kid and we needed to bury little Sam, because no one wanted him, not even his mum. We were free back then, our hearts so light. I remember you that way Laura, a fighter.
It’s like marriage is a dopey thing and if we get tied, our hearts by a string, the minister makes promises with gliding self, and there is no meter by which the organ makes sense. It’s a being stuck with somebody but it’s not a normal trap, it’s the snare of ages – the ancient curse. You are bent and broken by this lost banshee, and yet you call her your wife?
We will have babes, there names will be foretold. Our children will control the Mexican, and the railroad dingo will offer the throne. Beyond our years, as the grey turns to dust and the mind becomes rust, our lives will be rich, you’ll be my BITCH … and I love you …
… dearest Laura …
I need to tell you something, it’s about farmer Jack.
A few years back, after the great storm took out the Haglamite Klan, and the witch-maidens of quadrant-34 relented before the shirtless battle monks of Houston …
A while back when the last king bowed down and the throne was burned and the human spurned …
There was this farmer guy, Jack, and he owed me $50 for a bet we made. Don’t worry about the bet … maybe it was related to your blind sister’s first kid and how long the child would live. Needless to say, JACK lost the bet and owes me $50 … and I’m none to happy about it. So I go by his place with my new colt .45 pistol, and I demand he pay me … but he wouldn’t.
So I killed him and dumped his body out in the woods for the coyotes.
Oh … yeah … dearest Laura …
I have four rape babies … I used to drink … I’m sober now … but yeah: rape babies.
Yours,
ALMANZO : BIG BLONDE SHIT HEAD
[curated: 4/9/2023]
Perfect is dangerous …
“Perfect is dangerous.” – Dr. Freckles
*** computational hybridization vs genetic engineering
Military service …
“Beyond all the tradition and fanfare bullshit, the military has been a magnet for lost boys, and some lost girls, throughout history.” – Dr. Freckles
[curated: 4/9/2023]
Understanding …
“We don’t have to blow up the WORLD to understand it.” – Dr. Freckles
[curated: 4/9/2023]
Melodrama …
“Perhaps melodrama is the ultimate form of gaslighting.” – Dr. Freckles
A brief intermission …
They are really pushing some low-rent fear-monkeys right now … robots and ai … Dylan the freak … Trump arrested …
I think this total operation is nearly played out, ACT 2 is over, and we have a short intermission before ACT 3 …
(and ACT 3 is gonna be a KILLA)
[curated: 4/9/2023]
Spaghetti Westerns …
Like I said – I’ve been watching “Little House …” and I’ve been back on Twitter for a couple months. And there’s this ALMANZO guy and he reminds me of some of the shit heads that end up in my timeline on Twitter …
And this ALMANZO guy?
What a shit head …
He’d be on there too, posting pics of his abs, shredding video from TAHO, and discussing his sobriety …
(and this is why I love spaghetti westerns – not so judgy, no real heroes, just people surviving)
[curated: 4/9/2023]
“Drinking made me do it …”
“If you were an asshole while drinking? – you’re still probably an asshole. If you blame alcohol for YOU BEING a SHIT HEAD? – you are DEFINITELY an asshole.” – Dr. Freckles
LORB
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230407_LORB.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
Outline:
I lorb YOU! : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5216
Cops … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5218
Sober Saints : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5212
MOAR DARK PRAIRIE – INJUN MADNESS : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5209
Some scarcity … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5234
HEADLINES: ZEROHEDGE.COM
SHORTAGE? : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5230
CHARLES INGALLS MUST DIE! : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5238
CHARLES INGALLS MUST DIE!
I’m tired of this shit …
Charles butts in on peoples lives, like a 19th Century Captain Kirk, violating the “prime directive” every hour. And sometimes he gets punched … or he accidentally gets shot … or gets shot by bad buys with wonky shotgun rounds … but hey, he’s Charles.
Then there’s this episode where Nels is looking astray … and he wants Charles’ advice. The SAME MOTHER FUCKING CHARLES who can’t pass up any opportunity to denigrate or ridicule his wife, Harriet Oleson. So Nel’s probably thought: “this fucker mocks and disrespects my wife in front of me, why won’t he listen to my woes concerning Molly?”
BUT NO …
CHARLES then switches to JUDGE DREAD mode and says cold and off putting shit …
Fuck you … Nels just wanted to talk … mother fucker.
He goes to the fucking Mine, and kills some Chinese, almost kills himself …
He goes to move nitro glycerin, with Louis Gosset Jr., and he takes credit for beating on a MICK …
He goes to Mankato, to save some random shit head, gets into a fight, and he still lives …
SOME FUCKER NEEDS TO TAKE HIM OUT …
Some kind angel needs to turn him to salt.
[curated: 4/7/2023]
Scarcity or Abundance …
“We don’t have a shortage of resources, but we do have an overabundance of bad ideas.” – Dr. Freckles
[curated: 4/6/2023]
SHORTAGE ALERT: alcoholic beverages
- all previous studies on alcohol are wrong (m’kay)
- lots of “being sober is so great, hey, there’s a fat person” threads
- the bud light trans eruption
Almost as if they’re preparing us for a shortage.
[curated: 4/6/2023]
Cops …
“Cops protect cops, first and always.” – Dr. Freckles
I LORB YOU!
I lorb you, YOU MAGNIFICENT FUCK!
I’d build a rocket ship, called the cum-dragon, and load it up with busty-bitches high on crack and covered in goose sweat …
You’d be riding high, traveling the cosmos, in search of a fast-time Mary on a Friday night BINGE …
I lorb you.
I was a Ketchikan toaster, I met you while feeding the whore-beasts.
You wore scarlet and green and were mean to me and nice to my dog …
I laid waste to the 17 sectors beyond the Moon …
You stood fast, until you saw my cock and started to swoon …
And we felt it … and it was real.
Cuz I LORB YOU … so much.
He was the ORANGE POTATO, he stood fast against the whore-witch of the South …
He was the CHEETO BANDITO and was at the ready to drain the bog …
We all said “sure”, he could become our plastic jesus …
He said HUUGE … and led our armies of sticky surprise …
He promised to imprison the witch …
He stole the magical till-rod …
He said the monkey herpes was a glitch …
But fucker FAUCI remained in CHARGE of those warp speed dreams …
… and we LORB’d him … with so much ZEAL …
I took time to caress your bare fustule …
You grabbed my man pipe and fed me your stuggous …
I massaged your boovula and caressed your honey lips …
You grabbed my ball sack with your cold slimy grip …
I could have built for you a castle made of apple pudding, with seven sister wives awaiting your glorious day of triple decay …
I might have been the duke of TOLEDO, baking bread from rotten teeth and the bones beneath …
But you were my huddle-grub and I took you for granted, and now have lost your lub …
BUT I LORB YOU JASMINE … we will MEAT again, one day.
You can talk about your LOVERS, you can list their defects and gains …
You can have a movie about LOVERS, go insane, do cocaine …
It’s a hard rain, for those drainage ditch romantics, looking for some thorny Kevin or nasty Marguerite …
It’s a tough world out there MAGGOT, get rich quick or get going strong …
BUT THAT GENTLE LOVER, THAT HANGS ON YOUR EVER WORD …
Her name is Gird … short for Girdy …
You’re not wordy …
BUT YOU LORB HER …
(and you’ll never let her go)
Sober Saints
I’ve been on TWITTER for a couple months, again, because I’ve been curious about Elon Musk’s “new regime” – spoiler alert: nothing has fucking changed, same censored, controlled, shit head platform …
But one of the GRAND things that ends up in my TL (unless I block people) are these dialogues from freaks who “are so happy” they quit drinking.
What’s really fun, is when one of these shit heads pulls up a random PSYOP gif of some terribly obese person, and then they start mocking, belittling, commenting, the same asshole that can’t have one beer … and can’t stop drinking unless they tell EVERYONE.
FUCK YOU … you think drinking is a waste of time?
Try …
- wasting the better part of your 20’s preparing for and serving in the military, thinking you were defending a free republic
- going into massive debt to get useless college degrees from LIARS …
- spending a couple decades fixing shit head code – you know, the code that the sober fucks start writing when they “stop drinking” and then the drinkers get to fix the code.
FUCK YOU …
The most enjoyable posts of these folks comes when they start making fun of fat people …
(irony undetected)
BTW:
If you mistreated your home for thirty years, didn’t take care of it, didn’t paint it, shit all over it?
Then maybe spend more than a couple years taking care of the house before you give seminars …
DARK PRAIRIE: INJUN MADNESS
Things are getting worse in Walnut Grove. The hooker princess, Nellie, has set up a restaurant but gave the Shum-Buck Tribe a really bad stomach infection. They’ve declared war on Walnut Grove and they will murder all the human freaks …
ROBOTZ
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230406_ROBOTZ.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
- Green crabs … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5158
- MUSIC: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5163
- DARK PRAIRIE (clowns and injuns): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5169 https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5190
- Conservatism … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5177
- RONALD RAILGUN: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5165