I was at the grocery store, and something SPECIAL was on sale: slat fish.
Slatfish …
“It’s a tangy Tilapia type surge-horn yellow-stripe perch with armatures and vigor and glowing green eyes …”, is what the label said. “SLATFISH is healthy white style fish, for Tennessee hooker weddings and lazy country afternoons with Thelma Borecrotch of the church choir.”
It seemed an intriguing bite-dish. I could serve this to the people at my job I truly love.
Slatfish have parasites …
The verz-worm is a South American butt-herpes infestation that enters your body when someone IN YOUR FAMILY eats slatfish and then uses the common shower. These worms will fill your soul with heavy metal delight and if not taken care of will lead to NEW SETTLEMENTS along the SALTON SEA.
Lots of stories from Federal Way near Seattle of slatfish slunking out of Lake Washing and stealing and eating French bulldogs and pugs. More than a few avocado witches have raised complaints concerning this DISASTER. While most don’t care, one Seattle denizen claimed that “these wretched little dogs are Danish toys of thoughtlessness, they need to be fed to the six gill sharks.” Others have echoed this sentiment.
They say the slatfish are wandering and taking their time … they are in no hurry to reach a destination, not like the monkeys that toss their poop about.
Slatfish are cool mixtures of pain sorcery and nightingale pomp. Your MOM’S BOOVULA will INTINGOOLATE at the thought of frozen slatfish style butt plug recipes, for August, when it gets HOT.
Slatfish are high in OMEGA-15 butt crack compounds and other GET RICH QUICK nutrient salves. Your MUSK WOMAN will HURL her GIRL SPEW when she sees that body renewal from slatfish oils activated by SEAFLOW power energy spider egg crystals and micro-butt-plugs.
Slatfish is being sold at WHOLE FOODS and WALMART. It comes in cans that are colored red and green for easy identification. This is a kind and tender sandwich spread and you can use this instead of tuna or cave-slug.
When it comes to common MEAT substitutes, to include elbow-rat and long-pig, slatfish contain 124% more MICRO-VITAMINS and TRANS-FAT-NUTRITIONAL grease-oils. Your HEART will thank you for this bounty.
Monkey heart’d fringe-folk are making strawberry sliders using slatfish, adding it to their soups and salads and dryg-pudding recipes. Slatfish is taking the ROYAL SCENE by storm, as KINGS and QUEENS partake in this latest rake of roaming sea savagery and land omens.
Crisis in the foothills is making it harder to find the dreary beasts who move from pond to pond eating algae and stealing WiFi. Slatfish are semi-aware and looking for love connections with MILF type farmer wenches who sell their thigh-crispy sufferings to wandering hobo camps and football stars.
There’s no need to forget how many pup-women were sacrificed to OPEN THE WAY for keto bros and paleo junkies. Dirg-quadrant squid foragers reported seeing weird lights in the sky, and bats with machine guns ruling the NIGHT. All of this was the opening to our food future and slatfish FEAST.
I was made by a monkey.
I am a monkey.
Monkeys will eat me, and they will make MORE monkeys.
SCRYB FREAKS! EATING COOB SPICE! SELLING BLACK RICE! You need to STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! We'll harvest you like a little RED COW! TYFYATTM ...
Modern whore sluts nutting about looking for snout selling their boovula for a little more time your slime is DONE! so over get over Clover stop your draino or go insane-oh TYFYATTM ...
ROAD CREWS spreading tar spreading ooze 10 men doing one man's job they ain't slobs they selling drugs not hugs to the chugs along the way it's okay bro it's okay keep being that MAGA YOU! So true ...
ALL TROGLON TYPE BERGER-ZEEDS NEED TO BE READY FOR THE FINAL ASSAULT. WE'VE TAKEN 4 ISLANDS EAST OF HAWAII AND NOW INTEND TO LAUNCH A FULL FRONTAL LUNGE AT WESTERN SUMERIA WITH AN EYE TO OVERTURNING THE ASSYRIAN EMPIRE AND THE LAST LORDS OF FROLIC.
TEGOS-REE, THE ADMIRAL OF THE CENTRAL SEA, IS TAKING OUT SUBMARINE NETWORKS IN TASMANIA AND SOUTHERN DETROIT. NORD-STYLE BURGER BUCKETS ARE HUSTLING BEAN-DROPPINGS TO THE DUSTER FREAKS IN SECTOR 44 AND REGION OCTOBER. A MISSILE LAUNCH WAS DETECTED AMONG THE WHORE KEEPERS AND THE STREET WALKERS ARE SELLING SPECIAL-K TO THE COPS AND FEDS FROM FRESNO.
YOU ARE NOT SAFE!
YOU ARE NOT SAFE IN YOUR HONEYDEW MELON PARADISE!
YOUR FOOD IS NOT SAFE, IT IS FILLED WITH JASMINE-MAGGOTS AND OTHER SLIME-TICKS.
YOUR MIND IS NOT SAFE, IT IS CONCERNED WITH BIRTHDAY PARTY MINUTIA AND FAVORITE SONG BLISS TIED TO A LATE SPRING SUNSET SPICE RACK.
WHEN THE TIME COMES, BE READY TO ABANDON YOUR HEADQUARTERS AND DELETE ALL MESSAGES FROM SHEILA ... SHE'S A BITCH AND SHE'S STALKING YOU ... SO STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. SHEILA CANNOT BE TRUSTED, HER EYES ARE GREEN AND SPECKLED AND HER HEART IS IRON AND CABBAGE.
FOR THE TIME BEING ...
ALL CONDOMS AND TOILET PAPER WILL BE REUSED AND RECYCLED.
WE WILL CONSERVE OUR PRECIOUS MOISTURE AND YIELD ONLY THE COMMON STOCK FOR THE SWILL-BREEDERS IN THE CAVES OF HOUSTON. PARTY FAVOR JUGGLERS AND CLEVELAND WIZARDS SELL THEIR MAN-GOO TO THE RAIDERS IN SECTOR-2. NEVER BEFORE HAVE SO MANY GUZZLERS OF HERG-PASTE BEEN BROUGHT TOGETHER FOR A VICTORY WITHOUT PRECEDENT OR PAST.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE STRONG BODIES ...
MINDS CLEAR OF INFECTION OR FATE.
YOUR MIND-BODY PROBLEM IS ONE OF REGRET AND TRAUMA-FORECLOSURE.
YOUR MIND-SELF IS DISTORTED AND THE RADAR SYSTEMS IN CENTRAL KRASNOVIA ARE NO LONGER OPERABLE BECAUSE RED-DRAGON MISSILE RIDERS HAVE LOST ALL HOPE AND THE NYMPHO MISTRESS IS LONGING FOR STD RIDDEN JEDI LIVING ALONE IN THE DESERTS OF MEMORY.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE FALLEN.
THOSE GHOSTS THAT WRESTLE WITH CAUSALITY AND MAKE WAY FOR SMALLER LEGIONS OF TINY SOLDIERS MADE OF PUDDING.
INDIAN CALL CENTERS ARE STANDING BY TO HELP YOU WITH MEDICARE PARTS A AND B, AND NEW LIFE EXTENSION FINAL PLAN DEALS WHERE YOUR BODY PARTS CAN BE MARINATED IN DEAD MONKEY SAUCE AND THEN TOSSED INTO THE GANGES WHERE PRIESTS AND NUNS WILL POOP OUT THEIR VIGOR AND LEAVE YOUR NON-SELF IDENTITY TRAPPED IN A SMOG JAIL.
YOUR MOMS ARE WITH ME ... ALL OF THEM.
YOUR MOMS ARE MY HOOKER DREAM MAKERS.
THEY CARRY BATS AND CHAIN AND ROGAINE DART GUNS.
THEY ARE POWERED BY THE INFERNAL CAGE-RAGE OF NIGHTMARE PROPORTIONS.
DRIED AND EMPTY, YOUR MOMS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEIR HOOKER KING ... WHICH IS ME.
DENMARK IS SO OVER, IT'S BASIC ...
DENMARK IS BASIC.
DANISH FOOD IS BASIC.
DANISH DIALECT IS SLOW AND SMELLY AND BASIC.
YOU CAN SMELL THE REEF TORRENT COMING FROM A DANE'S MOUTH, IT IS BILE VENGEANCE AND SHIT THROAT CATACLYSM.
HERRING STORES ARE DROPPING AND THE COPENHAGEN SKETCH MARKET IS HOPPING WITH NOODLE CHALLENGES AND OLD FART FERRET RUSTLERS.
IT WILL ALL BE OVER WHEN DENMARK SINKS.
SEA-FLOW STYLE FROZEN BUTT PLUGS MAKE ALL OF THIS POSSIBLE. THIS SUMMER, FROZEN BUTT PLUGS WILL BE HUGE AMONG THE BOOMERS AND ZOOMERS, SITTING AT HOME, DRAGGING THEIR ASS MERCHANTS TO WALMART FOR THE FOOD SALE.
HOT TOPIC PROPHECY SPELLS DOOM FOR THE LAST OF THOSE OLD HAGS, AND THE CRONES ARE CAUGHT MALL WALKING WITH HORSEMEN AND ARCHERS.
BUILD A WALL AROUND YOUR HEART AND A MOAT AND FILL THE MOAT WITH SHARKS AND LAMPREY.
MAKE A HOME FOR THE SOUL PAIN, THIS IS BATTLE AND THE RATTLE OF BARS WILL HIGHLIGHT THE CRYSTAL SPILLWAY AND LEAVE YOU BARREN BEFORE BETSY THE BRA SALESMAN.
YOUR TENDER HEART WILL SPLIT WIDE OPEN WHEN YOU SEE THE BUSTED MASSES FLEEING THIS TENSE STANDOFF. HUNGRY HORDES ARE HOARDING WHORE JELLO AND THE LAST OF THE RESUPPLICANT PIMP CREW ARE CREATED ANEW BEFORE THE DYING SUNLIGHT. SMOKE RISES FROM THE BATTLE AS THE FIRES OF TORMENT BURN BLUE.
SPIDER EGG JELLY IS THE KEY TO VICTORY!
OUR MORGUE LEADERS ARE KILLING IT WITH SEAFLOW STYLE SPIDER EGG JELLY SOUP RECIPES AND TENDER VITTLE STYLE MEAT RESIDUE.
TIME TO ACCEPT THE END AS THE BEGINNING AND THE SEAFLOW LOVE SONG CARRIES THE DAY, AS THE BONG IS PASSED AND THE HOURS DECAY.
Several hard core units of the 7th and 14th SHOCK ARMIES of R.O.T.A.B. have been activated to assert total DOMINANCE of the OUTER RIM of the various international blockades; code named: OPERATION RIM JOB.
PORTS and SUBWAYS will be EXCOMMUNICATED from our dim world. After the several onslaughts of lesbian sky navies, the MAIN FORCE will start concentrating on separation of jerk chicken from Kelvin knights. Never in the time of war …
Never in the time of war … fuck …
Never in the time of WAR have FIRE DRAGON HEROES such as these taken strides to reinvigorate a pathetically broken human spirit. No, I say NO AGAIN: our forces are the BEST at LATE FRIDAY NIGHT raids and raves and fermentation.
Our blockade is a super blockade involving diseased orca whales and tumor ridden great white sharks and various airborne gorilla special ops cadres. The flares have gone up, the klaxon calls, the noise of WAR spreads like monkey-herpes across all the realms of YouTube type edge-lord tyranny.
Things are not what they used to be …
Several fucking months ago R.O.T.A.B. usurped D.F.G.T.C.by superseding authority and spreading fear of MAD TUNNEL ZIONISTS with HERPES and suitcase nukes … not so ironically spreading like herpes or “the clap”. “They” say they never forget, well … shit brah … neither does R.O.T.A.B.. Our forces contain SEAFLOW energy drink magic and uses the BOBLIMPTOCK MANIFESTO as its CORE DOCTRINAL MATERIAL EXCALIBUR STYLE MONKEY FUCK PRINCESS MAJESTY and other JRR TOLKIEN GAME OF THRONES STAR WARS AVENGER BULLSHIT.
YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE BANK that our armies of mad-dog sky-yotes and various LIZARD MONSTERS will move like LIGHTING WILDFIRE across the vast deserts and will prevent all hooker trading … unless we get our FEE.
Want to move hookers? – you pay a fee.
Need greases and ancient butt oils? – yeah, a fee.
Our CHICKEN CORDON BLEU SANITARY NAPKIN is the impenetrable barrier of the IRON WILL of the people who have been stamped on and murdered and tossed into the dumpster for too fucking long. Clown folk … Peru Indiana … and much of FLORIDA is OURS … we rule the 2,000 storm drains and sewer zones of LA and Chicago. Our muskrat herders and shovel agents provide taco meat to TACO BELL and chicken paste to KFC. You think you can stop our ECONOMIC POWER-TOPIA PAPA GLUMP BLUMP? … nah, because you and your MAGA koolaid drinkers are fags and gay and lame … and this is NOT HOMOPHOBIC but rather META-PHOBIC and based.
At least 9 divisions of hairless chimpanzees will launch a HUGE ATTACK on DJIBOUTI … that’s right … YER BOOTY … DJIBOUTI … YER BOOTY … our forces will tear you up and no amount of HOG SEMEN will prevent this. PAPA BLUMP will POOP HIS PANTS when we reveal our super duper and SILENT but DEADLY FART GAS … collected from 3 million drunk Danes. This viscous and disturbing air fluid and its miasma vibrations will RATION YOUR REASON to the SEASON of death tropes and other kinds of jungle-tacos on sale for $500/gallon. You’ll pay … or MISS DAISY MAE will tell you to go home to mama while your friend JODY pounds her … big time.
YOUR BOOTY cannot be protected from our FRENCH FRY FREEDOM torpedoes. Even DOCTOR TORPEDO HEAD and his A.I. elite have joined with us, to penetrate deeply into DJIBOUTI and this is MIND STAGGERING.
YOUR BOOTY IS MINE!
I RULE DJIBOUTI!
(I owned you before you were born)
After the first wave of husker-drones, we will launch pseudo-sonic hyper-glam REAMER TYPE DRILL BIT roamers. These roamers will move about the battle space looking for grimy salad-screen twinks armed with pink nunchucks and ghetto HIV super soakers. The last reef wardens will be sent to the bottom and the submarine navy will be racing, at the lake, SATURDAY NIGHT!
We have designed ARC PLASMA RAIL GUNS that fire molten titanium at 40,000 feet per second with a range of 2,000 nautical miles. This weapon can fire repeatedly, 75 shots per minute. Barrage fire will ANNIHILATE our sleeping giant HERGIST-DWORGS and jizz-masters that run the various US and Israeli vessels. Sure, U.S. NAVY is well known for preserving jizz juice and serving it as tapioca pudding to the swabbos … but ask me if I fucking care? Within minutes we can sink any navy on Earth, don’t question it … just live in perpetual fear eating chili from a can in your basement apartment.
THIS WILL ALL LEAD TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF TOTALISTIC WARFARE AND GRUNT FUMBLING!
We are at DEF-CON ZERO MINUS 30 and no one understands where this can lead. ESCALATION ESCALATORS are taking us UP TO THE TOP of the HORROR MALL and the thrall of neutron bombs holds the general’s gaze. Too many STONE PRIESTS have beat the RED HEIFER to DEATH with YENTL-WANDS and old-time’y Holocaust guilt. Another Steven Spielberg movie is coming out this CHRISTMAS and it will be a documentary. What is coming for the SIN-BREEDERS of ISRAEL will be EPIC and expect these turd-merchants to metastasize across the globe and another DIASPORA of diaper raiders is set forth, and there is mourning for a cursed people once again. Many movies will come out of this, probably a SITCOM TV show called: “TEL AVIV IS BURNING!”
STOP BREATHING HESPER GAS!
STOP LIVING IN THE PROTEIN SHADOWS!
Canned bacon is HUGE right now, and the plow is being set aside. Your CHIDE against ROTAB is best met with a smile and for miles we will drag your weary spirit across the concrete of regret … with speed bumps … on a chain behind our CHEVY.
TERROR STRICKEN hamster queens have removed themselves from the front lines. No matter the time of day, various kinds of WAR-FOOD is available. Turtle casserole, funk-n-belly sandwiches and circus steak. Some people spend their R&R at the BRIDGE, with MIDGE, the one-eyed hooker; others are attracted to the SEA URCHIN RIDERS and other broken storm conjurers. WIZARDS RULE the ZONE and the BLOCKADE can only be made with pixie dust nightmares.
