“Charles Ingalls is the Rick Grimes of Captain Kirks.” – Dr. Freckles
DARK PRAIRIE: body dumps
Little House went through so many animals, towards the end, they had a body dump near San Diego. They would truck the dead dogs, horses, monkeys down to an abandoned Naval base, and feed the poor creatures to the sharks – even if they were still alive.
DARK PRAIRIE: Mr. Edwards …
Jane, the pretty blind woman, is targeted by Mr. Edwards. He wants her, he wants to nut in her … he’s greasy …
DARK PRAIRIE: Baby swapping and OUTLAWS …
Dark Prairie: spray painted dogs
They used to spray paint dogs on Little House on the Prairie … so many of them died of cancer later … no one cared.
[curated: 4/11/2023]
DARK PRAIRIE
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230410_DARK_PRAIRIE.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
Soft Landings (revisited again): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5346
FUNNY: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5283
Military Service: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5267
FIREFLY vs LHOTP: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5275
DP – Garbage People: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5285
DP – Dearest Laura: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5248
DARK PRAIRIE: death jump 5000
[curated: 4/11/2023]
DARK PRAIRIE: How you treat garbage people …
“Little House on the Prairie”, Season 7, Episode 21 …
Charles is leading a family through the wilderness, but he makes a pact with a crossroads demon so that he can play the fiddle better … yeah.
So the demon wants Charles to kill the country family, Alvin, his wife, couple kids … And so it simply made sense to start with Ma and Pa …
“It’s alright, bring her down …” – is what Charles chanted, every night after, with a smile …
Bad brake, eh ALVIN?
Tough breaks, for someone in the wilderness … yeah.
OH NO … your hobo repair did not hold …
OH NO … your wife was too scared to jump …
Oh now, our children will be orphans and live like summer freaks feeding the whims of eastern salesman …
“MA, PA, OMG, NO!”
Ma, Pa, oh my God, what happened?
Ma, Pa, is your life in jeopardy?
BECAUSE YOU TRUSTED CHARLES INGALLS …
CUZ YOU TRUSTED CHARLES INGALLS … [choir, 5 times]
Down, down ya go … yer meeting St. Peter …
Your MA and PA are DEAD … welcome to the FRONTIER …
Don’t trust Charles Ingalls …
Charles inspects his handiwork, now the demon whispers “kill the kids …”
THIS IS LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE … (4 or 5 times fucker)
THE END
… maybe, now for the kids?
[curated: 4/9/2023]
DARK PRAIRIE: “Dearest Laura …”
Dearest Laura,
I want to …. uh …
Dearest Laura, I need you, you are my ginger-ho.
Dearest Laura, we can strive to be the rulers of the wasteland, our children will live feral lives our mongrel dogs will eat old-English flesh. I will resume my studies, looking into the funeral plan and you can become that HOT TEACHER, filling the spank bank, every boy to a man. And we shall RISE UP like the phoenix after the fire shower and those wolf-rebels will bow to US and be our glower …
I remember you LAURA, when you were young and nice and mild. I remember you when your life was that of a child, and we would fish for big cats and you would mock my pole, and we would laugh for hours, along the meadow creek. I remember that time the whore doctor aborted that kid and we needed to bury little Sam, because no one wanted him, not even his mum. We were free back then, our hearts so light. I remember you that way Laura, a fighter.
It’s like marriage is a dopey thing and if we get tied, our hearts by a string, the minister makes promises with gliding self, and there is no meter by which the organ makes sense. It’s a being stuck with somebody but it’s not a normal trap, it’s the snare of ages – the ancient curse. You are bent and broken by this lost banshee, and yet you call her your wife?
We will have babes, there names will be foretold. Our children will control the Mexican, and the railroad dingo will offer the throne. Beyond our years, as the grey turns to dust and the mind becomes rust, our lives will be rich, you’ll be my BITCH … and I love you …
… dearest Laura …
I need to tell you something, it’s about farmer Jack.
A few years back, after the great storm took out the Haglamite Klan, and the witch-maidens of quadrant-34 relented before the shirtless battle monks of Houston …
A while back when the last king bowed down and the throne was burned and the human spurned …
There was this farmer guy, Jack, and he owed me $50 for a bet we made. Don’t worry about the bet … maybe it was related to your blind sister’s first kid and how long the child would live. Needless to say, JACK lost the bet and owes me $50 … and I’m none to happy about it. So I go by his place with my new colt .45 pistol, and I demand he pay me … but he wouldn’t.
So I killed him and dumped his body out in the woods for the coyotes.
Oh … yeah … dearest Laura …
I have four rape babies … I used to drink … I’m sober now … but yeah: rape babies.
Yours,
ALMANZO : BIG BLONDE SHIT HEAD
[curated: 4/9/2023]
Spaghetti Westerns …
Like I said – I’ve been watching “Little House …” and I’ve been back on Twitter for a couple months. And there’s this ALMANZO guy and he reminds me of some of the shit heads that end up in my timeline on Twitter …
And this ALMANZO guy?
What a shit head …
He’d be on there too, posting pics of his abs, shredding video from TAHO, and discussing his sobriety …
(and this is why I love spaghetti westerns – not so judgy, no real heroes, just people surviving)
[curated: 4/9/2023]