Boblimptock Archives - Page 2 of 143 - PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

March 7, 2025March 11, 2025

MICROPLASTICS

I am made of microplastics.

My parents were made from microplastics.

There are microplastics in my jizz and your boovula and in the air that we breathe, each day. Clumps of synthetic nonsense, nano scale and dangerous, lurking in our brains. Your cat is obsessed with microplastics, your dog’s poop is FILLED with microplastics. There are nights I wake up shaking, baking from the heat of a HELL so DEEP where SATAN RIDES the pony and hangs with KONY-2012. In that cavernous realm of stool-monkeys and hester-demons, the ant-hawks recoil in FEAR to hear that more CHUCK-SAM-CHINK chili is on its way, and the micro-plastic river flows … it’s here to STAY!

Most people worship a micro-plastic god. Orange and shiny, built from the HEAP of humanity’s lost toil. THE MICRO-PLASTIC god is your means to an end, and yesterday’s friend becomes tomorrow’s FRENEMY – and all old debts are repaid in full. The SEAGULL and the carp sing of micro-plastic ZING, a ZESTY and flavorful ZAZZ that spits out monkey-cum-breakfast for everyone to see. My blood is 100% microplastics, your mind is micro-plastic goo.

There are microplastics in salmon eggs and the entrails of eels and other pond scum.

There are microplastics built up in your GUT and your intestines, your testicles and broken heart.

Your favorite dress is stained with your sister’s cum, and that cum is made of microplastics.

Your lesbian neighbors are spreading peanut butter on their boovulas, so they can play with their FRENCHIE: and the peanut butter and the Frenchie are made of microplastics.

In the coming months, when the grocery stores and supermarkets and WALMART SUPER CENTERS run out of food? – you will be SCREAMING for more of that micro-plastic slurry. You’ll go to the landfill in a hurry and harvest needle-worms and rat-goblins, and crush that shit up with old Styrofoam cups and lost TUPPERWARE PARTY makeover holiday spud cases. You will huddle by a dwindling fire, wearing tattered and smelly clothes, body covered in tumors, and you’ll eat that “stew” with your family, and poop it out with blood in the morning; that bloody MESS will be inundated with microplastics.

March 7, 2025March 7, 2025

No matter the POTUS

“No matter the POTUS: the same group that ran things BEFORE the election, are the same group that still run things.” – Dr. Freckles

March 6, 2025March 6, 2025

FOOD SQUEEZE: UK

“Britain probably has less than a week of food supplies.”

Link: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/britain-food-shortage-crisis-prices-supply-chain-b2700701.html

Link: https://theconversation.com/the-uk-has-a-growing-food-black-market-and-its-making-the-cost-of-living-crisis-worse-230908

March 6, 2025March 6, 2025

BLOODTHIRSTY RAGE: HOT MAGA SUMMER 2025

REMEMBRANCE: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14224109/sky-king-rich-russell-horizon-crash-barrel-roll-2018.html

PREDICTIONS and OBSERVATIONS:

This coming summer will be a BARN BURNER for the Northern Hemisphere, expect that 2018-style “Sky King” smog, red-orange-brown skies, for weeks on end my friend. As the humidity spikes and it’s 4 weeks of 100+ degrees weather in Seattle.
September 2025 will have the first statistically ice-free day in the Arctic Ocean, this “blue ocean” event will signal a beast rising up from a boiling sea. If it lasts too long? – no flesh will be left alive.
JD TRANCE will replace PAPA BLUMP TRUMP via assassination and BLAME GAME WRANGLING. TRANCE and TULSI will REIGN SUPREME as TWO KINGS. But … there’s a potato famine in Idaho and Tulsi has a BIG SURPRISE, and you WON’T BELIEVE IT.
SCARLETT J and ICE SPICE will be caught doing the CUPPING and SCISSORING in a VEGAS STYLE NEVADA DUMP, while also doing meth and herpes-skank-weed. They’ll go on some kind of lesbian ROMP of Thailand, but then eventually they give up and turn back to man meat. All of this happens before December 13th, 2025.
Some kind of half-ass full scale nuclear war is triggered, using IRAN and ISRAEL and TRANCE’S cocaine habit as a pretext or casus belli … SCORG, the WHISPER-WIZARD (AKA Bill Gates) convinces ELON GUSK to “launch a bunch of nukes” and hope for the best. MUSK-LUSK is at the time undergoing the surgeries required to become a real style woman beast with large knockers and a real tight pussy.
THEY BE LOOKING AT MY FEAR-SAUSAGE, and taking turns counting the ways. I cross the street not far from 4th AVE, near JINCTON STREET, where the alligator shoe salesmen spread their BEADS among the savages, vying for NEW AMSTERDAM SPECIALS for 99 cents. The small ones carry hatchets, their dogs carry swords.
DISTRAUGHT TRAVELERS from HEEPTOUS TOWN will be caught at sea, trying to flee the VORTEX SHIFTERS of QUADRANT-56. All the TRIXIE girls will hurl their fag-stew at the gorlax-monsters and tree-huggers coming down from Vancouver. Portland legends get lost on the coast road and the toad mic concert is held not far from CATALINA, where eel princes wager on the ghost warriors and their skill.
Matt Prince and Erik Prince will swap wives/lovers while ERIK is vacationing in Park City, UTAH. This will happen Thanksgiving Weekend, 2025.
On August 3rd, 2025, 700 people will drown in Costa Rica.
THE LA FIRES of January 2025 will look like NOTHING by the end of 2025.
James Woods will join the Trump administration as an advisor on arts and film. This will be announced in May of 2025.
I will begin taking MAN-HORMONES to increase my T and improve my libido. I will begin massaging whale grease into my bones with that new tool I bought at NAPA AUTO PARTS. I will drink SEA-FLOW SPIDER EGG kombucha, and will find myself lost along the porn star alley road, where Ron Jeremy will become my Jiminy Cricket.
As you already know, I will change my name to COCK CHUDSON and become a middle-aged grey-haired boovula charmer in the valley where the GREAT FILMS are SHOT and I won’t get caught in no genital crab controversy, AVA ADAMS will be there to comfort me.
IF YOU ARE MAGA MAN you will spend several hours crying before the end of 2025.
IF YOU ARE CRYPTO MAN you will spend several days crying before the end of 2025.
IF YOU ARE PROG-COMMIE-BLM-ANTIFA-DRAG MAN? – you are already crying, you are deeply confused about the timeline.
If you are one of my sisters? – we haven’t spoken in years, likely we never will again. Not enough time in the world, you are all in my prayers, good luck to you and your families and your stuff.