This is my hooker grandma.
She is voting for MEGA-HAIRY-BALLS because she does not want AMERICA going back to the AMERICA that used to be AMERICA. She also wants to shove a probe up your butt to search for aliens. She talks to ELVIS while on the toilet, but she’s okay, she’s gonna be fine.
My grandma says she doesn’t want it to GO BACK To the way it used to be, when she had to rinse out her boovula with diesel fuel and broken glass …
Her boovula is filled with potato bugs, her eyes are jaundiced from liver failure.
CAN YOU CARE ENOUGH BRAH?
Care …
MY GRANDMA? – she had to get 40 abortions from a DUDE named KYLE, and he used dynamite and rebar and mineral spirits and sulfuric acid. It was HORRIBLY MONSTROUS and NOBODY CARED and DONALD TRUMP would film it and sell the movies to Warren Buffet. Do you care BRAH?
BECAUSE OF EVIL MEN, my grandma was kept on an ISLAND in the South Sea, she was traded among the elite and used for her sexual prowess. Frank Sinatra and JFK shared her once, giving her a WYOMING COWBOY RIDE, but she wasn’t ready for it. It hurt her, and nobody cared. WE WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT BROH?
Do you care about my grandma?
MY GRANDMA had to eat sand-mice for dinner and the water she drank was brown and fetid. Random men would come along and kick her in her groin, as random women tossed bricks at her and chased her down the street. Children threw gasoline bombs at my grandma, and mocked her as she rolled on the ground to put out the flames. And you are VOTING for BLUMP to send us back to that? You hate my grandma?
I’ll kill you.
My grandma once had sex with 200 Mexican farm workers. HUGO CHAVEZ had been fumigating her “attic”, while my grandpa was getting drunk at Denny’s and masturbating to GAY PORN. AFTER GRANDPA JIZZED on his GRAND SLAM, he went back home and found 80 dicks stuck in his wife and this drove him cocaine crazy mad. He got out his chainsaw and began chopping up them Mexicans, Mexicans that were sent to his home by Donald Trump and Ray Charles.
If you vote for TRUMP, we are going back to this.
The last few years have been hard on my grandma. MAGA-PUNKS down the STREET stole her French bulldog and turned it into taco meat, selling the meat back to my grandma – it was a good deal, prices, amirite?
THESE YOUNG FUCKING PUNKS chase my grandma, and chant MAGA THEMES and beat her with sticks and chains. This was LIFE under Donald Trump, for my grandma … do you even fucking care?
We can’t let it go back.
Under TRUMP, my grandma would be severely abused by the VA hospital. They had her undergoing surgeries she didn’t need, and the doctors would sew dead squirrels into her open wounds. Some of them laughed as the nurses pee’d on her, and nobody cared, cuz TRUMP was PREZ.
We can’t let it go back bro.
My poor grandma …
MY POOR FUCKING GRANDMA had to WORK in the kitten factories when she was 12 years old. 16 hour shifts, two days off every 6 months. HER JOB was to pry the kittens out of the molds, and if they were deformed? – she had to dump the kittens in the drowning pool out back.
And the TRUMP family OWNED that terrible place.
And if you VOTE for TRUMP? – we’re going back to that and WORSE you FUCK!
MY GRANDMA had to travel 5 minutes to find an abortion clinic a few weeks ago. She’d been having 7 way FRIDAY NIGHTS with the BINGO CREW and it turned out she had an egg or two in storage … well … she didn’t want a kid at her age, so she had to drive FIVE MINUTES to find the 24 hour Planned Parenthood Abortion Clinic and Strip Club …
So dangerous … so inconvenient.
This could have ruined her life.
Don’t let TRUMP do this …
MY POOR FUCKING MISERABLE GRANDMA was eating at the TWIN COW BUFFET off of Boston Street, when JERGIZ, the THROAT MUFFIN, started punching my grandma and demanding monies. He says she owed him for the CRACK and METH and KROKODIL he sold her, but my sweet grandma? – WTAF.
We had to slay that fuck, and dump him and the truck out by Collin’s Farm.
And this is what happens if TRUMP is president.
Can’t go back, won’t go back.
My poor grandma didn’t get proper medical attention. When she was sick when TRUMP was president her doctors gave her a bunch of pills and stuck needles in her and cut off her legs and arms.
If Trump gets back in, what will grams do?
DAMN THAT PAPA BLUMP!
(taking away abortions from my grandma)
My GRANDMA was CHASED by devil-pirates and she fought off the NAZIS during WW2. SHE’S STILL a SILVER HAIRED SHARK-MAIDEN, out on the great blue looking out for me and you. HER CURVE-SOUL STREAM was the GLEAM that shocked the cocaine world and led her to BANGER NIGHTS in Manhattan.
If Trump gets elected he will hunt her down and strap her to a large wooden frame. He will brutally ravage my grandma, thereby giving himself incurable genital crabs. Within 4 weeks Trump is DEAD and JD Vance (seen DEADZONE) takes over and launches nukes at the jerks who made fun of him as a kid.
We can’t go back to that, can we, my puppy fodder friends?
IF TRUMP WINS …
OH BY GOSH the entire SEA of HORDE MONKEYS will crawl out of our toilets and take our grandmas feminine hygiene products and perfume and makeup and adult diapers. Our GRANDMAS will be NAKED before the TRIBUNALS. Hunted and filled with harlotry, they will flaunt their GRANDMA beach bodies as they dance the 7 veils for cocktails and kidney-rice. It would be NICE if you sent her a CHRISTMAS CARD this year, put down that beer and give her a call. OH DEAR – are you little Mr. Rotten Cakes?
THIS IS MY GRANDMA … fighting off MAGA-PUNKS in SECTOR-9-TANGO. She’s a BALL when that big haul comes in and all the FLYNN MERCHANTS are out of shell-spice and plankton-soap. TRUMP will tear her apart, setting her homes on fire and using piano wire to strangle her poor little FRENCH BULLDOG. THERE IS NO SAFE SPACE for a woman of her grace and charm, and great harm will come to grandma if we don’t stop TRUMP and his MAGA TARD SCROG FORCES under the command of JD VANCE! Someone’s got to do SOME DAMN THING about BLUMP!
LORGEN-FLOR, the thirst-griever of King Temblass, hid a faerie dust trail from our old GRANDMAS. They might have ESCAPED this JUNGLE HELL, and made it, scantily clad, to an island of bliss and busty women and group showers. BUT NO, TRUMP stopped it because he can’t handle powerful women with untreated herpes!
And now my GRANDMA doesn’t have healthcare and she’s all alone in her condo in Hawaii, ungunjoolating herself while she watches the surfers get eaten by squid.
All because TRUMP got elected or will get elected … maybe he won’t.
All because of that.
