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Lived …
I ate monkey pasta, and related stories of my conquests. The 8 Sibling armies gathered near my old home, the one where my hooker wife took skleeg-foam and rubbed one out and told my momma that I was dealing again. We slept in grease baskets, near the wharf, and ate chili cheese.
There were kettle corn pros washing themselves in the gutter, they’d been out all night turning tricks and making gravy. Cooley, the chief pimp, made sure their bodies were covered in honey butter and then he gives the speech: “… don’t hold out on me hoes … don’t hide money in your sklizz hole …” His women lived in fear.
A time was spent in the Amazon, learning ancient lessons from the medicine man and the Chief’s daughter Heleeza. We spent so many sweaty days trapped in the GREEN MANSION, looking for our earthy well being and yet … yet … my man pipe got infected by a bug or reptile, and it leaked hleebum-juice all day.
When you travel the swampy way, when you see the cattle-queens moving their homesteads west? – that’s when you GRAB THE GROIN of the mother fuckers, and power up your anti-matter cannon. You can’t trust regular bear anal artists, you have to trust the princess of Delaware.
- Drinking with the Screw-zos of New Jersey …
- Dining on seagull with my friend Yoog, and his harlot wife …
- Married the last banshee wench of Chicago, she curdled my butter and left me wanting more …
- Chemical factory near Grinken Town, worked in the bowels, deep in the middle, where they dump stuff …
- There was this tulip field I worked at … when I was 11 years old. We picked bulbs in the hot sun, our bosses beat us with reeds … if we didn’t pick our rows fast enough? – we were “taken to the warehouse” where Mr. Hoosgarde would beat us and then lock us in the bulb refrigerator …
- I had my kidney removed by organ thieves, left in a bathtub, filled with ice … a note said: call the cops.
- Igloo Dirty was my porn star name, when I worked in the Northern Territories of Canada. I had a rough mutton chop exposure and a large rod …
- Chemise made of old aluminum cans, her eyes were orange and green and angry …
- Kangaroo meat Popsicle when I was a kid, during the great meat-paste crisis of 1978 …
- Ate skunk pudding when I was being chased by the East Side Hoolies back in 1996 …
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