BTANL: Chapter 12 – THE DANISH PROBLEM

(what must be done)

Some quick FACTS about DENMARK:

  1. Shakespeare originally wanted to call HAMLET “Denmark if for Mother Fuckers”, but his agent (Danish) said no.
  2. Danish babies are sequestered, for hours, by themselves, while they cry and moan.
  3. The Yentl Laws declare that NO DANE may have MORE or LESS than any other DANE, and the Danish government sends out OLD LADIES with 9mm machine guns to enforce these rules.
  4. Half of all Danish people have uncontrolled genital crabs.
  5. Copenhagen was founded in the year 3455 BC by an ancient MYST-KING named FRAGOR. He built the original ramparts to fend off the swamp people from Novgorod, and the MONGOLIAN BBQ pop-up restaurants.
  6. ROME WAS FOUNDED by two DANISH BOYS named REBAR and ROBYERBUTT. Thousands of years of torture and EVIL are traced back to this.
  7. FOUR times a year DENMARK is immersed, sunk, into the BALTIC – no one asks why.
  8. ALIENS enjoy probing DANES the most.
  9. Every problem in your life is connected to Copenhagen and the RED DANES of SLEEVER STREET.
  10. Danes control the banks, Hollywood, all the good jobs, and Orange Julius.
  11. The average dog can smell a Dane from 245 miles away.
  12. DIABETES is a SCHEME, in the “PROTOCOLS of KRINGLE”

OLD DANISH CRONES will wander the streets looking for hope and optimism and love, they will scowl and yell and break the spell of peaceful Sunday style living. They like screaming at KIDS and will lead a flock of children back to their nasty shacks in the woods, and if only they could escape – that Egyptian modeled shack.

When DENMARK decided to invade GERMANY in 1940, no one cared; the fucking GERMANS SUFFERED under GEORG and the NEERDOWELL SCAVENGERS of GRID-31. KEEVOUS the MAD SWEDE sold sweaty dog pretzels to the opium dealers in Esbjerg, where the wild dogs are fed from the dead babies that so many DANES just cast aside, along the road, in the ditch.

The BIGFOOT live among the DANES, but mainly to keep an eye on them …

DANES CAN’T BE TRUSTED, not with sheep or dogs or beer. They will STAB YOU IN THE BACK, and CRY OUT as they beat YOU. If you go on a date with a Danish person, you might need full body radiation for any and all STDs you get.

YOUR DOG FRAMED PADIGM will not MATCH a Copenhagen’s hooker’s needful surprise. When her EYES catch yours you’ll see the speckles of purple, and KNOW that her systems are corrupted and she is NO WOAH-MAN for you to snuggle with.

DANES eat flea dust and live off of rotten fish testicles.

DANES LOVE to smell their farts, and they cart around a load of pain wherever they go.

YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED to save a Danish person if they are drowning – I think this is in Psalms.

Every CHRISTMAS the people of DENMARK make a FEAST of the HOLIDAY FRENCHIE. A family will buy a HOLIDAY FRENCHIE from the KOREAN down the street, and it’s so neat because they will decorate it and cook it on Christmas Eve. Then, the children awaken to that well done FETE and sit at the table to ladle in the misery and scorn and to wish they’d never been born.

One drop of DANISH BLOOD can pollute a reservoir.

YOU EVER STUB YOUR TOE ON A STONE? – a Dane placed the rock there.

JORVIAN MUSK WOMEN wash up on the shores of Latvia, and people know what’s going on. QUORG-HUNTERS from RANDERS grab a sander and set to the work of cleaning the roads. So many prostitutes and nuns are taken out by these weird DANES and their SWEDISH COUSINS that remove bottle caps from beer bottles with their TEETH. And underneath that mess lay a jester and his rubble poetry, and the dead whisper to ODIN “my mother smells”.

SCHRODINGER killed 5.4 million cats to prove a point: he was Danish.

THE VIKING KINGDOM of OLDE DENMARK ruled 45% of MICRONESIA and OHIO. They had boats that skimmed their way up the Mississippi and made landfall in CHICAGO and Las Vegas. SIMPLER CATS tried to farm and log, but the bogs were deep and the sheep died of COVID.

ENGLISH WIVES with fish for garnet, as the DANES go by in their fancy cars. No one cares that the kids eat dental floss and the market only sells ass. YOUR PAST LIVES thrived on this kind of living, but the GIVING is getting harder and the DANES don’t care.

3/4 Danes have killed someone’s grandma, half of these were fed to squirrels.

THERE IS NOTHING SACRED to the DANES!

They feast off of cotton-mouth minstrels and traveling piss monkeys. The DANES cleaved together a “culture” of porn and vice and spider egg delights.

You don’t want to go there, have you seen the movie franchise HOSTEL?

You don’t want to find a man or a woman there, they will come back to YOUR HOME and pollute it with their EEL tragedies.

You can’t handle DANISH LIES and coconut pies, their women have boobs filled with industrial plastic and used toilet paper.

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DENMARK!

G.M.F.Y.I.L.Y.