- Two weeks ago I find and recover BOBLIMPTOCK.COM and use it as the redirect for my DANIFESTO! And choosing to WRITE the MANIFESTO a month ago was weird.
- Three days ago I decide to nuke my bogus blue-check TWITTER/X account.
- Two days ago I fry my Zero Hedge account (if you know you know). THREADS ARE GONE, one neat trick.
- This morning I have the “feeling” that I needed to go home, I wasn’t sick – it was as if I saw myself getting sick.
- The super angry OUT OF NOWHERE podcasts preceded this by a day.
- This afternoon I get an email from a random journalist about a horrible memory from long ago, as much as I want to say right now.
A wound I do not need is reopened.
Now – tell me about the nature of time.
Tell me WHY Nietzsche had it RIGHT all along, that EFFECT following CAUSE is a mere convention of the mind; we can’t be too sure which way the arrow points.
I want to let go of hate, especially pointless hate. I accept my part in MY great tragedies of 2016. I am also okay laying blame where it is appropriate, and though the GOAT KING was one of the forces that fucked up that year, he was not the only one or the last. 2017 would bring its own bevy of FUN PEOPLE, and 2018 would not be much improvement … to include the weir sexual touching while working contract at Alaska Airlines AND that was the summer of the Horizon mechanic that lost it and stole the plane. It was also the summer of firestorms up and down the west coast from Mexico to the Alaskan Arctic. The skies were orange and brown and black for several weeks, the air was hard to breathe for at least a month. It’s hard to hold your breath for a month.
I don’t want to go too crazy here, I just have a lot of thoughts today.
I know Jesus wants me to forgive, but I also know that there are things that can feel impossible to forgive; maybe this is because the THING also involves forgiving yourself. I need to forgive myself for being such a fucking weak and pathetic mess that I let those fucks into my life. I need to forgive myself for being so naive about the anarchist movement in the USA, and to underestimate the number of feds out there (they don’t care about voters, those sheep stay in the paddock). Forgiving myself is near impossible, so maybe that’s why I can’t forgive some of those “people” that I’ve met in the last 10 years.
You have sensed my anger … FUNNY … the anger level SPIKED a couple days ago, before the email from the journalist: there’s another win for Nietzschean time.
So maybe the arrow goes both ways.
Maybe we can, all of us, sense impending “doom”, like some spooky reptilian brain bullshit from millions of years ago.
Maybe I’m psychic? – probably not.
Maybe these are all coincidences? – very likely.
I just can’t help but think I expected something shitty today and it made me sick to my stomach before it happened.