Daniel Sullivan, Author at PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

VER 1: BLACK

VER 2: MAROON

VER 3: TEAM PURPLE

VER 4: HEATHER FOREST

VER 5: HEATHER RASPBERRY

August 7, 2026August 7, 2026

BURRITO MASTER!

I am the Burrito Master!

My power fork
with spork yoke
and broke-back grease
I will never cease
to bring you
the ground meat
from the seat
of the sweet treat
alabaster.

I make these
slime tubes
for less than $2.99
and it's fine
because my girl
my woman spirit
grabbed the onion god
and her BOD
was HOT STYLE
picante type
ever after.

The flesh burden
it's hurtin'
and your own cost
to the boss
and the mayor
is too much
so the factory churns
and burns
with old Aunt Mabel
from the stable
to the abattoir
a craftier cheese.

I can't stop wanting
that frothy wheel
after the meal
my teeth yellow and raw
stuck in my craw
the bone mantle
the grizzle
the muscle gird
and then the SOUP
from the poop pipe
one swipe
and it leaves
with ease.

I make burritos at midnight from the discards of Texas toast nightmares.

My WOMAN demands HOT POWER LIVER OINTMENT type burritos, for prices that make sense. I use the old meats, left at the CHEVRON in plastic cases and old dirty Jesuits.

I can make you a burrito for $2 ...

It's guide-sleaze and you smell the breeze to find that chugger-loot.

You'll scoot on down to the EMPORIUM and buy some gut-slab, then go to the razor-bakers and purchase that 50% asbestos flour for making fine style tortillas ...

JOOG-FLESH and pond-walnuts are the toppings, and these grow near the abandoned chemical plant ... the one where those nuns went missing 5 years ago ...

The whole thing takes no time to cook, using arc-welders and acids ...

For two bucks.

When we were young hunters?

Chasing the milk-sow and the journey-ass of S'compton?

OUR BURRITO MASTERY transcended the fecal pleasures of LORD CASTRO and the other incidental subway turds that girded their loins for tender metal flesh.

We'd add AVOCADO, but it was jungle paste and paint flakes.

We'd add lettuce ... but the lettuce was strumpet-skin and hairless dog lice ...

We'd ask for ICE in our soda, but our sodas were imaginary and our water was brown and real.

Our burritos were cheap and plentiful.

Our women were full of crabs.

BURRITO MAGIC?

That's what she called it, when she grabbed my nuts and shoved her free hand up my ass.

In a spastic clutch, we'd hutch over and share the mule offerings of mortality, as the anus bled and my balls turned blue.

After many minutes of pain, I'd shake it off and leave her happy-valley replete with cave gifts and gumbo-grease and milk-duds.

Many of the septic tank babies came by this way, filled with hopeful din and then dumped on the sidewalk for the creepers to feed on.

And all of this was for burritos.

My third burrito wife?
We thought we'd mated for life.
A strife world,
bejeweled in vibrant tones,
and boned beef,
as she queefed,
leapt past the dome,
and then we could roam,
like nightmares,
at the county fair,
made for two,
a burrito wife for you.

My last burrito was STORM-ICE and glazed hornet wings. We ate these damn things under a blazing orange and smoky sky, as the MIND-TIGERS told riddles and the fiddler calmed the crowds.

Ministers in torn clothes sing songs of coming days, and the haze breaks and beyond there is a DRAGON called BURRITO MASTERY 9000.

Women, forlorn by lost love, point their naughty fingers at the smoke and chant "he's woke, he's woke, he's not broke" - and the golden shower commences and the women slather themselves in goat urine.

So we say goodbye to our burrito nightmare.

goodbye

August 6, 2026August 6, 2026

NOTHING, NEWS, NONSENSE

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20260806_NOTHING.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/g1njrbr3d

*** The NEWS, all of it, looks like garbage. Good luck. Yes – Israel has nuclear weapons. Iran knew this for many decades. If IRAN PLAYS the grifter-war, Iran loses – just like Assad, just like the COL in Libya. Dunzo. So it’s the IRAN STRATEGY that makes zero sense, unless this is a contrived event and not a natural outgrowth of great power confrontation.

August 4, 2026August 4, 2026

MR. SCRIBBLES

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20260804_MR_SCRIBBLES.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/g1njrbr3d

The “NEWS” from Izvestia (iykyk): zerohedge.com

FRIENDLY RANT:

I need friends ...
friends made of
glowing hot titanium
and if they held your hand
it would turn to ash
in a flash
I wish I had these kinds of friends
friends who could melt people's hands

I grew up
in the time
of whiskey-apes
we ate cat pudding
we wrestled our fears
in the hope
that some NUKE WAR
was near
I wish I had friends
who remember those times
those years
we'd throw back some beers
and dream of being
ATOMIC WARLORDS
with 50 hooker wives
and a million lives
as the stone breaks
these would be cool times
and great friends

I need to tell you ...
I love you.
I love your halitosis.
I love your diseased liver.
I love the fact that you poop blood clots.
You are my honey-time franchise winner.
And with my SKINNER I'll harvest the world
Cuz ... you know.
I love you.

There's this new thing
called water dieting
you rapidly lose weight
and then you die
and then the REAL magic kicks in
as the pounds melt off
as the worms burn those pounds
you lose a lot of weight

I'm on day 3 of the water-diet, 
I've already lost 15 pounds.

I'm feeling woozy though.

people are telling me 
the "water diet" is dangerous ... 
WTAF do they know 

did you know that MOST 
of YOUR MASS is WATER?

why has the weight loss 
industry and other fitness 
edge-lords been lying 
about this 
for so long?

they NEVER talk 
about cutting it, 
they always EMPHASIZE 
having MORE

MORE WATER

What if the SECRET 
to LOSING WEIGHT 
and GAINING MUSCLE 
has always been 
cutting out water?

One  I lose 50 pounds
on the water diet ... 

I'll send you pictures.

Or the coroner will.

I will be
next years
beach body
surprise ...

The EYES will turn
to me ...
From the sea and the spray.

My JUICE BALM
SEAFLOw STYLE
CHEMICAL BUTT
OINTMENTS will
SELL OUT ... soon.

We're going
to the moon.

Water diets are challenging.
All your friends will say you're crazy.
Your family will distance themselves.
They might even call the cops on you.
If you do the water diet.

But I promise you, 
you WILL lose weight.
A lot of weight.
All of it.

My doctor said 
I was MAD for 
doing this water diet.

I asked him: 
"how much 
of your body 
is water?"

This shut him up, 
he froze, 
he had no response.

What I really want to do? 
- focus on my body.

And that means 
drinking NO WATER 
today ... 
none.

None tomorrow too.

My goal: 
a week 
without drinking water, 
and I think I can do it.

Then two weeks.
Then 5.

Some experts 
are coming out 
OPPOSED to water diets.
This is apostasy.
These heretic harlots 
must be STOPPED 
at all cost ...
Even if it means 
we all get herpes ...

"check under your chair", 
as Oprah would say
it's okay
it's herpes

Did you know 
water kills thousands 
of people 
per year?

but BIG WATER 
doesn't want you 
to know 
how poisonous 
this shit is

the mega floods 
that hit Appalachia 
a few years ago, 
that looked a lot like "Popeye" 
on the Ho Chi Minh trail (iykyk), 
that was water too ...

Sharks? - live in water.

Ted Bundy? - drank a SHIT TON of water.

Jim Jones 
handed out 
the COOLAID/KOOLAID (Mandela Effect) ...

The big Tsunami in 2011?

(that was water)

Bloated?

inflammation?

what do you think causes this?

(what if you knew it was WATER all along?)

Full disclosure: water dieting has risks

There are many 
that say 
you have to 
have water,
every single day, 
but some think 
this is hydro-centrism 
and racist.

Would it shock you 
to know 
ALL THE NAZIS 
drank water ... 
DAILY!

That's right ...

There's a LOT 
of prejudice 
out there, 
when it comes 
to non-hydrotarians.

We choose 
NOT to hydrate 
because we know 
where most weight gain 
comes from 
- water.

Water was always the poison.

Stop drinking water, 
and start drinking in life!

We have a training camp 
coming up soon for people 
who really want to lose 
a lot of weight ...

The secret was always water: 
stop it, 
stop drinking it, 
let it ooze out of you, 
and you will be free

The power over thirst
is the power over weakness