Category: Dr. Freckles

“Gandalf was a traveling grifter, Princess Leia sent out PHISHING TRAPS and SPAM: which one was worse?” – Dr. Freckles

I’m sure a LOT of old drunk Jedi got Princess Leia’s “you’re my only hope” form letter …

(a lot of them pressed delete immediately)

(press DELETE BILBO – blow that grifter mother fucker away!)

Ginger children are the most hated.

All cultures have stories of roasting ginger kids, when they are born – or tossing them out into the woods, to be eaten, or befriended, by wolves … usually eaten.

Ginger bread houses come from the Middle Ages, when the Vatican sanctioned multiple crusades against ginger kids.

They would build a house of dry straw and wood, and put the ginger kids in it … and set it on fire …

They loved doing this around the holidays.

The AZTECS NEVER SACRIFICED VIRGINS …

ARE YOU MAD? – you don’t waste that …

No – they would take all ginger kids born that year, and cover them in skeel-wax and bat entrails and lead them up to the sacrificial altar where the elders would each take turns stabbing the kids.

You know WHY they killed JFK?

(ginger)

If you must eat human, ginger flesh is considered the most succulent and tasty.

“Bryt syde: smort duvises hav set bak ingliszh bye forr huundrid yrs, n dats kewl.” – Dr. Freckles

“MARK MY WORDS, FULL STOP is my new TLDR.” – Dr. Freckles

“Do stupid SHIT long enough, it will probably kill you. Also, humans do stupid shit – get over it, try to do it in moderation.” – Dr. Freckles