“Women always want to have sex with some other guy: probably your dad … or your moms.” – Dr. Freckles
Asimov’s 3 Laws …
“I have a rocket launcher buried in a locker some place, written on the rocket: Asimov’s 3 Laws of Robotics.” – Dr. Freckles
The Lambada …
“Remember when they said the lambada would cure AIDs … I do.” – Dr. Freckles
The Irish …
“Never, ever, piss off the Irish.” – Dr. Freckles
“Leave the Irish alone, unless you want a hangover.” – Dr. Freckles
The Irish are known for driving snakes away …
(just saying)
Fruit salad …
“Fruit salad is the fruit cake of top ramen.” – Dr. Freckles
… always been someplace.
“My life: I’ve always been someplace.” – Dr. Freckles
Cheeto-Sexual
“Cheeto-Sexual is probably a thing, and if it isn’t? – it will be in five minutes.” – Dr. Freckles
VAGINA
“If you accidentally eat semen out of your woman’s vagina that was placed there by another man? – your relationship has problems.” – Dr. Freckles
Definition – “SKANK”: any woman that would let you eat another man’s semen out of her vagina without you knowing it
Worst Yoda ever …
“Can you imagine a 1,000 year old frenchie? – worst Yoda ever.” – Dr. Freckles
Peloton Marketing
“Is Peloton shaming women, fat people or the poors this year?” – Dr. Freckles
Fakery and YouTube
“The more fake it is, the more likely YouTube will host it.” – Dr. Freckles
Game Theory or Behaviorism
“You can approach the world as a game theorist or behaviorist – but not both: both might yield results, one will damage your soul.” – Dr. Freckles
“anti” central bank
“You do realize you’re NOT anti-central bank if you want your nation to use US dollars?” – Dr. Freckles
(also: not a NEW strategy for South America or Argentina)
Storing your urine in jars …
“I’m beginning to think that storing urine in jars was another way Howard Hughes was ahead of his time.” – Dr. Freckles
J6 was an IQ test …
“J6 was an IQ test, if you attended? – you failed.” – Dr. Freckles
Having a military …
“No government could afford a military if they were forced to pay for their mistakes AND keep their promises to those who served.” – Dr. Freckles
When YOUR GUY wins …
“Voting magically WORKS, when it’s YOUR GUY – funny.” – Dr. Freckles
Florida …
“Florida is going to make Beirut look like Aspen.” – Dr. Freckles
We will devolve into what future creatures will call “sofa apes” … they will analyze the grease deposits we left in the polyurethane fluff from farting …
“shitty sofa apes” – is what the dog-race will say.
Worshiping Science
“The actual scientific method is USEFUL … Worshiping science, or its necessarily temporary truths, is crazy.” – Dr. Freckles
Princess Leia’s “you’re my only hope” bullshit …
“Gandalf was a traveling grifter, Princess Leia sent out PHISHING TRAPS and SPAM: which one was worse?” – Dr. Freckles
I’m sure a LOT of old drunk Jedi got Princess Leia’s “you’re my only hope” form letter …
(a lot of them pressed delete immediately)
(press DELETE BILBO – blow that grifter mother fucker away!)