“Be your own fucking Gandalf!” – Dr. Freckles
Archaeology of human language …
“The true archaeology of human language leads to liberation.” – Dr. Freckles
The Gremlin …
“The Gremlin is the Delorian of Ford Fiestas.” – Dr. Freckles
Role models in the woods …
“You don’t usually find role models living in campers, in the woods.” – Dr. Freckles
Needs and wants …
“When needs and wants get confused? – people do bad things.” – Dr. Freckles
Dick looks big …
“Everyone’s dick looks big in a bar chart.” – Dr. Freckles
8 hippos …
“If you measured my penis in AR-15s? – it would be 8 hippos in size.” – Dr. Freckles
FACTS MOST DON’T KNOW ABOUT AR-15s:
- they can be used to launch satellites, they are that powerful
- only ancient Egyptian kings had access to them, before 3D printers
- one AR-15 can kill up to 300 billion people
Lamest frontier …
“If ‘space’ is the final frontier? – then it’s also the lamest one.” – Dr. Freckles
Cheese cave …
“If there’s no more gold at Fort Knox, and the strategic oil reserves are nearly empty, why would we expect there to be cheese in the cheese cave?” – Dr. Freckles
Cheese is a good food for bunkers …
So I just have a hard time believing they’ve been “saving our cheese” for us … it’s not OUR cheese …
In fact: that nasty “Who moved my Cheese?” bullshit corporate cargo cult from 20 years ago was probably the result of this CHEESE bullshit.
It seems like the government would be storing women’s vaginal yeast by about this time …
“If there’s a government CHEESE CAVE, then shouldn’t there be a government HOOKER CASTLE?” – Dr. Freckles
Cans … (like in Scientology)
“When I establish MY CULT, we’ll have these things called ‘cans’ … but they won’t be electro-doodly bullshit, they’ll be boobs … you hold on to your interrogators boobs.” – Dr. Freckles
“JUGS are the key to truth.” – Dr. Freckles
Renaming birds …
“Renaming the birds is the Daylight Savings Time of Barrow, Alaska. Cuz now it’s Utqiagvik.” – Dr. Freckles
Useful tech …
“Functional and useful technology sells itself.” – Dr. Freckles
First you are made LAME …
“Those whom the gods are about to destroy, they first make lame.” – Dr. Freckles
On the death star …
“On the death star? – we money-rape each other.” – Dr. Freckles
Living a long life …
“Living a long life is not about ‘positive attitude’, it’s about destiny and punishment.” – Dr. Freckles
Dirty money …
“Believing you earn clean income in the USA is like believing those Bureau of Land Management signs that say: ‘these are YOUR public lands’ … they’re not, and your income is as dirty as anyone else.” – Dr. Freckles
Time dude …
“I might be a time traveler, and doomed to drift through the oceans of causality.” – Dr. Freckles
Of Hobbits in Outer Space …
“I watch official NASA films or photos or space movies from Hollywood or space documentaries in the same equal spirit of some Hobbit movie.” – Dr. Freckles
All horror films …
“All horror films are secretly about getting women pregnant.” – Dr. Freckles
Mental health tip …
“Mental health tip: don’t take mental health advice from random mother fuckers on social media.” – Dr. Freckles