“I remember this ONE TIME the most powerful people that ever lived yelled FIRE in a crowded theater … what am I thinking of?” – Dr. Freckles
The Rick Grimes of Captain Kirks …
“Charles Ingalls is the Rick Grimes of Captain Kirks.” – Dr. Freckles
Chasing waterfalls …
“Don’t go chasing waterfalls … WHO THE FUCK CHASES WATERFALLS?” – Dr. Freckles
Maintenance …
“Something that ordinary people wouldn’t maintain voluntarily, should never have been built in the first place.” – Dr. Freckles
In a free world …
“You can build so many AMAZING things, in a free world.” – Dr. Freckles
All I want for Christmas …
“All I want for Christmas is POO … that’s what the Mariah Carey CHRISTMAS SONG sounds like to me now.” – Dr. Freckles
Generation Boblimptock! (born since 2019)
“I’m calling it: every child born since 2019 is GENERATION BOBLIMPTOCK – their minds will be filled with razor blades, their fists caked in blood.” – Dr. Freckles
A seashell …
“You eat a can of chili, cold, out of the can – and you hold up the empty can to your ear? – it becomes a seashell of hopelessness.” – Dr. Freckles
Joy and the Right Thing
“The best thing about the RIGHT THING, about doing the right thing, is JOY – there’s plenty of JOY between you and harming someone else, more than enough.” – Dr. Freckles
Gandalf … (revisited)
“Gandalf IS the HITLER … you get that right?” – Dr. Freckles
Bilbo’s .357 MAGNUM (REDHAWK)
“If Bilbo owned a .357 magnum that day Gandalf showed up? – things would have turned out differently.” – Dr. Freckles
Facing the TSUNAMI
“If you are standing on a beach and you see a MASSIVE tsunami coming towards you, you can run … you can walk towards it, solemnly – or YOU CAN STAND THERE, AND LAUGH AT IT! These are your choices.” – Dr. Freckles
During a famine …
“Fun fact: during famines, ‘seconds’ and ‘thirds’ are not a thing … unless it’s long pig.” – Dr. Freckles
Living on Liar’s Island
For those who took freshman philosophy or Logic 101 in college:
“When you live on Liar’s Island, there is only one thing you know is TRUE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!” – Dr. Freckles
If you can’t kill Bigfoot …
“If you can’t kill Bigfoot, then what good is he/she?” – Dr. Freckles
War Crimes …
“BTW: if a WAR CRIME is committed? – you go after the WAR CRIMINALS. You don’t go commit more war crimes yourself, in revenge.” – Dr. Freckles
Government …
“Government: crappy people, too much power.” – Dr. Freckles
Nuts and bolts …
“Nuts and bolts are for liars and dolts.” – Dr. Freckles
On WAR
“Angry people do angry shit, and they get taken advantage of by more powerful people.” – Dr. Freckles
My TED TALK on WAR.
Your own Gandalf …
“Be your own fucking Gandalf!” – Dr. Freckles