“Hoi polloi is ancient Greek for garbage people.” – Dr. Freckles
Playing pretend …
“Everyone gets to play pretend, when the show is at its end.” – Dr. Freckles
Painting logs black …
“You paint logs black when you ain’t got no real cannon.” – Dr. Freckles
The last one …
“If some advertiser tells me this is the ‘last one I’ll ever need to buy’, they’re either lying or their product sucks and no one buys another.” – Dr. Freckles
MARK MY WORDS!
“The only people who should be allowed to say ‘mark my words’ are villains, in Scooby-Doo episodes.” – Dr. Freckles
Famous Thoreau quote …
This is a reworking of a famous Thoreau quote:
“You keep voting, I’ll keep drinking – let’s see who stays sober the longest.” – Dr. Freckles
Thoreau: “I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest.”
A great song …
“A great song is one you feel as if you heard it before, even if it is really the first time. Because it tells the story of life.” – Dr. Freckles
Charlie …
“I’m not alpha or beta, that’s some bullshit. I’m charlie.” – Dr. Freckles
(your woman may “love” you … but I’m the dude coming through the side door, dropping a load in her skleevous …)
Truth or Whiskey …
“You can have truth or whiskey or both.” – Dr. Freckles
All the Martian invaders …
“Have the Israelis killed all the Martian invaders yet?” – Dr. Freckles
Felons by lunchtime …
“Most of us are felons by lunchtime, we just don’t always know which laws we broke.” – Dr. Freckles
HOBLIMPTOCK
“I’ve talked about BOBLIMPTOCK, but not HOBLIMPTOCK.” – Dr. Freckles
The family …
“Once the government has captured the family, they have captured the nation.” – Dr. Freckles
Asking for wisdom …
“Asking for wisdom from God is like asking for infinite pain, and infinite joy – but remember, there’s pain.” – Dr. Freckles
A free country …
“A free country is a hornets nest, or a BIG hug, to other nations – choose wisely with free countries.” – Dr. Freckles
People like me …
“When people like me stop getting cancelled? – you should probably get worried.” – Dr. Freckles
LISTEN!!!
“Keep a fucking notebook!” – Dr. Freckles
(physical, paper, pen, pencil, style, notebook)
(I don’t care what you do for a living)
- farmers
- engineers
- teachers
- doctors
- nurses
- accountants
- journalists
- chefs
- janitors
- moms / dads / parents
- everybody, fucker
- you are not guaranteed electricity
“The Vatican is the ‘Alan Greenspan’ of Christian principles.” – Dr. Freckles
(you don’t go to Hell for smoking cigarettes – doesn’t mean it will end well)
(and hamburger IS NOT steak)
- cursing
- sins
- forgiveness
- ministry
The laundromat …
“The laundromat is like a casino that is more peaceful and less disappointing.” – Dr. Freckles
(bonus: you get to hear the cling-cling-cling of the change machine, and it’s like a slot machine paying out)
Fermented semen …
“Vagina beer, fermented semen, you see where this is headed?” – Dr. Freckles