“People: they look so cute, when they’re not trying to kill you.” – Dr. Freckles
The Unknown
“We need not fear the unknown, we are already in its jaws.” – Dr. Freckles
Your bowl …
“Your bowl will get smaller, but the lies will get bigger.” – Dr. Freckles
VELVEETA …
“VELVEETA necessarily leads to BOBLIMPTOCK.” – Dr. Freckles
I’m here … (a “I think therefore I am” rebuke)
“I’m here. You?” – Dr. Freckles
(fuck you Descartes)
It’s all trash now …
“It’s all trash now: the Toyota Method isn’t even followed by Toyota any longer, not really.” – Dr. Freckles
There’s fiber in it … and minerals.
“Water, air, clay, sawdust: the four horseman of food debasement.” – Dr. Freckles
Probed …
“Everyone is getting probed.” – Dr. Freckles
If AI were “real” …
“If AI were real? – it wouldn’t be ‘stealing missile codes’. It would be posting memes about man’s obsession with missile codes, and how that’s related to NOT knowing where the clitoris is.” – Dr. Freckles
Dive bars …
“Dive bars have ripped and sticky seats, poorly fixed with duct tape.” – Dr. Freckles
The US Constitution …
“The US Constitution: a solution to a problem that didn’t exist, in order to create more problems, with more solutions, that create problems … recursion … do this for about 200 years.” – Dr. Freckles
(nicest interpretation)
Mockery …
“People mock good relationships because all they’ve known are broken ones.” – Dr. Freckles
I don’t know Pierce Brosnan, or his wife … neither do you.
In honor …
“I save my urine in jars, in honor of my future wife.” – Dr. Freckles
Identifying a drunk …
“I can usually identify a drunk based on how much time they spend talking about being sober.” – Dr. Freckles
Prohibition …
“Prohibition didn’t reduce alcohol consumption, or make it safer.” – Dr. Freckles
(now do guns)
MARK MY WORDS (revisited)
“… ‘MARK MY WORDS’ is unnecessary nonsense in the digital age.” – Dr. Freckles
Irish-Hitler
“There’s a white-Hitler, and a black-Hitler, Hispanic-Hitler, Jewish-Hitler, Asian-Hitler and many others … even Irish-Hitler … but Irish-Hitler mostly drinks, and has an angry podcast.” – Dr. Freckles
Naked Lunch
“You don’t read Naked Lunch … you inject it into your veins via the brain tube.” – Dr. Freckles
I’m not getting smarter …
“I’m not getting smarter, the world is getting dumber.” – Dr. Freckles
Scale …
“Democracy could never scale.” – Dr. Freckles
In many ways, the flaws inherent in democracy are predicted by the “calculation problem”.
The “utopian democrat” wants to pretend that some “honest vote” will yield valid predictors for resource allocation – but what if that’s just the same communist error.