Category: Dr. Freckles

“Only in a neo-Stalinist pill head shit hole could people be ‘excited’ about the national debt going up.” – Dr. Freckles

“Humans play with the word ‘impossible’, Jesus sets the limits.” – Dr. Freckles

“Many people buy pets because abusing pets is tolerable by many, if not acceptable.” – Dr. Freckles

“Children don’t save relationships? – children don’t make you wise.” – Dr. Freckles

“The same song can mean different things, at different points in your life.” – Dr. Freckles

• Baker Street
• Afternoon Delight

“As empires collapse, grifters and parasites multiply.” – Dr. Freckles

“Every mantra is a tautology, every tautology a mantra.” – Dr. Freckles

“Sports would be more fun if players randomly left the field and started pounding on the spectators, hard.” – Dr. Freckles

I want to watch a professional baseball game where the players can just go off all half-cocked and assault the onlookers, and it’s just part of the deal …

You want to see that game? – you might get beaten real bad in front of your kids …

Think of all the sponsors …

I would arm all NBA players with glocks. There’d be this part of every game, maybe before the 4th period, where the players would just lay into each other, and the FANS … tearing shit up with GLOCK-19 hollow point rounds.

People would say … “shit Dan, that’s wrong …”

fuck

Can you imagine professional swimming?

The swimmers armed with spring loaded harpoon guns?

And it’s like:

fuck, I can go berzerk and maybe shoot my competitor from East S’compon High because I’m all crazy from the meth I smoked.

I think the women should be naked as they swim.

Think about professional bowling, where the competitors at some point just pick up a bowling ball and wail on some person watching, some random observer, beating their skull so bad that their brains spill out.

And the kiddies? – they’ll buy the videos and the comics and cocaine.

Wouldn’t it be GREAT to watch a football game and see the entire offensive line just RUN UP into the stands and start pouncing on shitty drunks screaming their cigarette lies to all the scrunglies?

See some giant offensive lineman just pin some schmuck up against the wall, yeah.

“I love SMART, so I’m often partial to crazy.” – Dr. Freckles

“To be Irish is to be a stubborn dreamer.” – Dr. Freckles

“Dogs or wolves, and humans, came together over the BBQ.” – Dr. Freckles

“I like my HIGH explosives … I want my gas to expand at maximum velocity.” – Dr. Freckles

“Food also proves itself as poop.” – Dr. Freckles

“Comedy is the smile tragedy wears.” – Dr. Freckles

“People that learn the difference between kindness and communism become wise.” – Dr. Freckles