Category: Planetary Status Reports

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ATOMIC WARLORDS

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20231107_ATOMIC_WARLORDS.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

On War: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10026

Your Own Gandalf: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10024

Archaeology of Language: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10022

The Gremlin: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10018

Total Sexual Mastery: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9966

Role Model in the Woods: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10011

Where I’m at: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10009

Needs and Wants: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10007

That Coyote Song: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10004

Dick looks big: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=10002

SKEZZ: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9998

8 Hippos: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9995

When I die: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9991

Lamest frontier: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9989

Cheese Cave: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9987

“Cans” (like in Scientology): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9985

The Time of Atomic Warlords: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9976

Did you: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9974

Renaming birds: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9972

“We need that new cannon”: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9964

Useful Technology: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9962

First you are made lame: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9960

Voices of retribution: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9957

On the death star: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9955

Living a long life: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9953

Wow, she’s alive: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9950

Dirty money: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9948

Time Dude: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9944

Lists: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9938

Of Hobbits and Outerspace: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9936

All horror stories: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9934

Mental Health Tip: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9930

WW3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9928

Daylight Savings Time: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9922

Hoi Polloi: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9920

Pick Up Lines: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9912

Mr Crab Apple: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9910

Playing Pretend: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9907

Noodle, Noodle, Yankee Doodle: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9905

Painting logs black: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9903

The last one: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9901

Mark My Words: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9896

Famous Thoreau Quote: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9894

A great song: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9892

I need a woman: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9869

Charlie: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9888

Truth or Whiskey: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9882

All the Martian Invaders: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9878

Empire: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9876

Felons by lunchtime: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9874

Hoblimptock: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9872

The family: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9867

Asking for Wisdom: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9865

A free country: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9863

The Laundromat: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9849

Fermented Semen: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9847

What’s going on: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9845

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Total Sexual Mastery

I know 7 techniques that will allow you to achieve total sexual mastery.

I’m not going to share them … not for free.

There’s this part of a woman’s spleegus-area that exudes a greasy black mineral, you bite into that, you gain insight into your own madness.

I can show you how to ungudoolate a woman so that she reaches a 9 on the soob-nah scale of female juices.

Women hunt after my jewel-sauce.

I got 6 kinds of woman for 12 kinds of love making.

I can sense your orgasm, smell it, taste it.

I’ve been making a lot of headway with my 4 primary systems of SEX POWER and PUSSY GREED: a) cup her dinglies, b) embrace her horns, c) crush her with rod passion, d) spew on cue … follow these steps, and you too will have complete love mastery.

“Ladies … want some flesh pie?”

I have love potions baby …

I’m out there in the night, ready to tuck you in.

I can fill your cup, butterfly dearest.

That’s right baby – I have my eye on your booty.

I see your love dreams and can envision you, running through the jungle, scantily clad, being hounded by sweaty prison guards …

I saw you dancing last night, to that new song.

I saw you touch yourself, and you know I was there … watching.

I love you baby.

I’ll give you a salad mixer, if you toss my salad.

Your blood boils as your lust builds,

and your window sill hooker waits,

the metal grates clink as you sink into her chasm.

She screams: “That’s not ice cream!”

And you say: “Nah, that’s NICE CREAM.”

I can teach you about STOOB-JENKINS MAGIC …

Your woman will never know what hit her, as she moans in pleasure-agony, and her sprinctal-zone ignites with juice power.

Is she looking for an old style “beefeater”, but what she says she wants is the “English Navy”?

I was your Steve McQueen style lover, and your body shivered under my great escape …

I shattered your G SPOT with my “sunny day dandy”, and you screamed as though a million suns were burning in pleasure.

You called me your “shimmy McDoogle”, and I said “keep shining river squirrel” …

Your kestrel arc, as you slid my meat pipe into your cubby, slew me baby … and that “twice chewed pork” routine? – damn girl, damn

I’ve seen you – demon lord.

Master of that newer scene, one so mean and lean that no body will stop your witch’s bosom … and such green tips, and lips that shine and rhyme with that moan you make, you know baby …

Can I be your Canadian monkey, if you will be my Monte Cristo Woman?

Is there a greasy place for us?

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Where I’m at …

I’m not sad, or truly happy – just satisfied.

I don’t expect this to change, and I am grateful for what I have.

But it’s hard to say what “that” means. That thing that makes this worth it … the cheap weed? – no.

Something more, and maybe it will electrify me.

But the world feels broken.

I don’t think I care what people believe at this point – I fear for my own faith, some days, but not for the faith of others. Others will proclaim, as they kiss the boot of Satan, that they are “good” Christians.

Know who you are mode, before God.

This is boblimptock.