YANTIS
YANTIS moves fast down the trail, the one behind your house. He hears your farts and counts your poops. He seeks after hustler jelly and hooker style anal hookups … with lasers … and hydraulic lifters.
Maybe?
My Thanksgiving Meal …
I’ll be making Ol’ Mangies Toogat Soup … eating it alone in my camper, in the dark.
Recipe:
Mix gravel and diesel and metal shavings and broken glass – along with turnip-worms and dried yellowjackets … don’t cook it … not unless you want to ruin the flavor.
It’s so good.
There’s an entrée I’m preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow …
It takes time and patience, like scaling the mountains of Horg and seeking after Queen Lustra’s POWER JUICE, but knowing you’re not really Clint Eastwood.
You take baked beans and old hairspray and mineral spirits and mix this into a large bowl …
You then mix in toadstools and x-ray bugs …
Eat this, while watching old episodes of Twilight Zone alone …
currying daggly yolk and massaging merg-shank
yep – cutting up scribbly greens right now … pre-heating the tsongas-beef … making sure I have hyle-gravy.
You go down to the wharf, and meet Tony …
He hooks you up with Sharon, and then things get fun.
You pile CRAB into a swangus-stew pot, and mix in crag-nuts and cat droppings and lost storg-larva …
And it takes some getting used to, especially when your anus starts to bleed.
I put the gumbous-beast in the oven …
Getting craggle-berry waffle juice ready …
Making a slurry of mac+cheese+green beans …
Happy Thanksgiving, really …
Saturnalia begins … with the ritual of the dead bird.
There are blues – fentanyl pills …
Then there are the blues-travelers, fentanyl pills dipped in PCP …
VAGINA
“If you accidentally eat semen out of your woman’s vagina that was placed there by another man? – your relationship has problems.” – Dr. Freckles
Definition – “SKANK”: any woman that would let you eat another man’s semen out of her vagina without you knowing it
Worst Yoda ever …
“Can you imagine a 1,000 year old frenchie? – worst Yoda ever.” – Dr. Freckles
Synthetic End Times
“Synthetic End Times” Theory: the belief, similar to “blue beam” and not mutually exclusive with it, that TPTB or deep state would fake the end-times narrative to hoodwink Christians.
There are a few implications, including God does not exist or God is not Who I think He is …
But I don’t believe God is a deceiver, and I think there are many hurdles to disrupting God’s plan.
And if I believed in this theory? – I’d skip the hump and go directly to “Simulation Theory”.
Game Theory or Behaviorism
“You can approach the world as a game theorist or behaviorist – but not both: both might yield results, one will damage your soul.” – Dr. Freckles
“anti” central bank
“You do realize you’re NOT anti-central bank if you want your nation to use US dollars?” – Dr. Freckles
(also: not a NEW strategy for South America or Argentina)
Where did FETTERMAN come from?
Where did Fetterman really come from?
(he looks like he came from some crooked bio-splicing lab)
It makes me think of Lennie from Of Mice and Men …
I’m working on a sequel/fan-fic to Mice and Men …
“Of Mice and Men 2: Lennie’s Bloodlust” …
The premise …
Lennie IS NOT dead … the gun George used was old and had bad ammo … and Lennie’s head was thick, so he was knocked into a deep coma …
But Lennie comes out of the coma, and seeks revenge on Curley and his wife and Slim and George …
“Lennie” is like government …
(it means well, maybe)
(but it WILL crush your dreams, like a mouse in Lennie’s hands)
I don’t know the REAL ORIGIN STORY of Solomon Grundy – but LENNIE’S STORY would be LIT.
Be like: Marvel calls me …
I like: sure, give me a million.
It’s a movie in 2 years … or less.
It do.
Storing your urine in jars …
“I’m beginning to think that storing urine in jars was another way Howard Hughes was ahead of his time.” – Dr. Freckles
I heard you last night …
I heard you, my pussy willow … I heard you last night.
I heard you last night, in your bedtime sweat …
You got home late from work, and turned on the “personal massager” …
You thought about our time in Splunkton, and how I ungudoolated your boovula …
I heard YOU harlot woman …
When you spoke your sour words into the phone and broke my heart into pieces …
I heard you when you got that restraining order, and I sort of didn’t hear you … you know what I mean?
But I stay there, in the woods by the river, not far from where you live baby … and I’m waiting.
Waiting for love.
J6 was an IQ test …
“J6 was an IQ test, if you attended? – you failed.” – Dr. Freckles
If I had an onlyfans account …
If I had an ONLYFANS account?
It would be some fetish site, exhibiting an overweight dude, in his 50’s, eating chili raw from a can, in his underwear, in the darkness of a cold camper.
(and that’s just every night for me)
If I had an OnlyFans account?
I’d wear snuggle-bunny diapers, and have some kind of fucking plastic pacifier in my mouth … as I slobbered over German chocolate cake – and read Nietzsche …
If I had one of those accounts …
I’d shake my booty, for the looty …
If I had an OnlyFans account …
I’d trick old “Wharf Sarah” into being in some “movies”. She’s 70 and has been tricking for decades … our thing? – the “double Santino Oklahoma style” …
It involves 300 feet of abrasive rope, a diesel generator, four long fluorescent bulbs.
don’t do the “double Santino” on a first date
a “single Santino”? – maybe, if you have an emergency defib kit
Having a military …
“No government could afford a military if they were forced to pay for their mistakes AND keep their promises to those who served.” – Dr. Freckles
When YOUR GUY wins …
“Voting magically WORKS, when it’s YOUR GUY – funny.” – Dr. Freckles
Worshiping Science
“The actual scientific method is USEFUL … Worshiping science, or its necessarily temporary truths, is crazy.” – Dr. Freckles
Princess Leia’s “you’re my only hope” bullshit …
“Gandalf was a traveling grifter, Princess Leia sent out PHISHING TRAPS and SPAM: which one was worse?” – Dr. Freckles
I’m sure a LOT of old drunk Jedi got Princess Leia’s “you’re my only hope” form letter …
(a lot of them pressed delete immediately)
(press DELETE BILBO – blow that grifter mother fucker away!)
Ginger kids …
Ginger children are the most hated.
All cultures have stories of roasting ginger kids, when they are born – or tossing them out into the woods, to be eaten, or befriended, by wolves … usually eaten.
Ginger bread houses come from the Middle Ages, when the Vatican sanctioned multiple crusades against ginger kids.
They would build a house of dry straw and wood, and put the ginger kids in it … and set it on fire …
They loved doing this around the holidays.
The AZTECS NEVER SACRIFICED VIRGINS …
ARE YOU MAD? – you don’t waste that …
No – they would take all ginger kids born that year, and cover them in skeel-wax and bat entrails and lead them up to the sacrificial altar where the elders would each take turns stabbing the kids.
You know WHY they killed JFK?
(ginger)
If you must eat human, ginger flesh is considered the most succulent and tasty.
Y spel?
“Bryt syde: smort duvises hav set bak ingliszh bye forr huundrid yrs, n dats kewl.” – Dr. Freckles