Category: Boblimptock

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Sorbitol …

Jungous, the Horde Lord, is forming up cadres outside and inside your city …

His people live in the median, between the fast lanes that take you and your TESLA to STAR SPAM CITY …

They are covering themselves in raccoon grease and wrath …

They will raid your homes soon …

(you don’t have enough bullets)

JOOG, the TURG-NURGEN, aka “Elon Musk”, is steeping his tea in cow urine and elf spice. His mallet if unmet, as the human crankous realm melts into oblivion. He was ALWAYS broken, and now the ZULU is coming for your busty women and your craft IPA beer …

A great space ship is being built in Antarctica. It will take the star children home.

A great ship is being built at the South Pole, it will travel through a hole in space/time.

There’s a GREAT CAPTAIN named BURT who won’t get hurt when the radiation comes.

There’s a lost people in the caves of NOR and there they are led by a scarlet whore.

The human gumptous lives in cities, eating mosquito larvae and churgle-tacos …

They slunk and shamble their ways to jobs where the bunctous sweat burns at their buttholes, as they work off that LUNCH TIME lasagna …

They strangle dreams and in their hand they hold a glowing rectangle, showing all the angles of THEIR DOOM.

They are a poison fruit.

They are the scourge …

I’m a de-expansionist-anti-extinctionist …

I hate Bill Gates AND Norman Borlaug …

I’ll bring my wrath on a plastic spoon Monday.

Then one day my laser scarf wenches will rule the night.

SEA-FLOW brings balance …

SEA-FLOW energizes your sperm.

You can use our flowtein power gels to achieve NEXT LEVEL female boovula style slather-grease.

Nothing can stop you.

we’re loading up on skaguus-freaks, and herpes-felons and Ukrainians … so many Ukrainians …

we’re loading up on SKEETO-TRIBES from the DARK CONTINENT, as the denser grains are fed to whistle-pigs and the Israeli whores sell dick sores to the Doobie Brothers.

we could have had ape meat sandwiches – but no one was willing to wrestle the Sky Hawk Shaman …

we could have traveled to MARS and put our flag upon Olympus Mons and made ourselves a home on those sandy slopes … we coulda … but we didn’t …

We could have formed various FRUIT ARMIES, and made parfait all day …

But you said it was stone-madness, and I said our Kentucky Love Affair was over.

Men and women will breed using metal pipes and ice cream scoops …

In the year 2133, the last bio-sexual act will be performed on Pay-per-View …

From that point on all stiggous-flesh rituals will be cybernetically conducted using gridge-paste and doogan sauces and silicon yeast …

By the year 2044 all women will be men and all men will be gay.

In the near future …

You will have a penile implant that regulates your sperm and skizz-goop …

The government will tax you on your goop …

It will be $4 a wad or nutt …

Probably by 2038 …

Your children and grandchildren will be slaves to the HYPERCUBE …

All COOCH-BABIES will get rabies after doing the BLUES on METH …

And your retirement funds will be diversified into Japanese turnip bonds.

The knockout game is becoming popular, all the kids are doing it now …

They knockout some old dude and then tow the body to the pits outside of town.

they are handing out cable soup to the cadets, and letting the nurses pull the plugs on widow land cowboys …

It’s all sorbitol now … all the food is sorbitol.

we have sorbitol factories churning out sorbitol 24/7

we have plenty of sorbitol for everyone …

everyone can be happy

In the year 2029, fertile women will be rounded up and placed in SWEAT CAMPS in the Everglades …

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“PAWG NIGHTMARE …” (coming for CHRISTMAS 2024)

So I have this idea for a great movie, and I need NETFLIX or AMAZON STUDIOS or SONY to call me …

In the not so distant future, the WHITE WOMEN form a coalition of disdain and take over the system and nearly destroy the world …

Following the broken headed rule of WHITE WOMEN, white girls, between the ages of 25 and 45, are hunted, rounded up, put in special camps in the EVERGLADES …

This is the setting for PAWG NIGHTMARE …

You can say it’s a setup for soft-core porn style exploitation in the oeuvre of Pam Grier … this might be true.

But it could win an OSCAR …

Things have been CRAZY in Florida …

Poignantly dramatic horrors are unfolding in Miami, as people are being eaten by gators …

It’s just too much …

“WRESTLING GATORS for DOLLARS”

It’s ostensibly SET in the Florida Everglades, but probably needs to be filmed pay-per-view on some island in the Philippines …

Satellite TV … probably some of the satellites will get shot down once the show spins UP.

You have to wrestle these gators, but if you SURVIVE? – you get 10 bucks … and a trip home … probably not a very nice trip home, tbh. Probably a pirate ship … your organs probably get harvested.

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FIRE: Financially Independent Retire Early

FIRE:

Do you dream of HELI-SKIING your way down some EURO-TRASH mountain scape, not far from St. Durgley’s, where you met your hooker wife?

Do you hope you can afford to send your kids to that SCHOOL one day where they’ll teach those little fuckers how to hate you? Hate everything about you?

Are you looking at those really cool YACHT websites? The ones that talk about 60+ foot long ocean going all aluminum boats that can power their way to sunsets and fun and adventure? Maybe you’ll find a new lover on those 7 seas, to replace your spiv-wife at home. Maybe you’ll write that maritime novel you’ve been dreaming of, about submarines hunting for Conan’s lost gold … sell it to Marvel probably …

There are a LOT of EZ-MONEY programs that promise HUGE returns, but how many pay off? – virtually ZERO. Our program from SEA-FLOW allows you to define retirement in easy to achieve LIFE-BUCKETS:

LIFE-BUCKET 0: Do you know where your wife is?

LIFE-BUCKET 1: Do you think she’s having sex with Barry?

LIFE-BUCKET 2: How many times does she have to go to spin class?

LIFE-BUCKET 3: Maybe I’ll surprise them at that spa in Van Couver?

LIFE-BUCKET 4: I think WALMART still sells guns …

You see how this works?

Of course, most think the NEW AMERICAN DREAM is dying in your sleep – literally, figuratively, writ large, think about it. But at SEA-FLOW we don’t stop because Taco Time is selling “pork especial” now, and nobody asks what’s so fucking special … and nobody says nothing about the fingernail they found, the one with nail polish still on it. It’s the new American Dream, and that’s ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW …

I knew this guy, CHAD.

Chad wanted to start an old-style Panda Express, like the old ones, back in the 1970’s, when chain restaurants could still be kinda racist …

He knew it would take cash to find and raise and harvest panda – what the HELL did Chad know about panda? – but Chad was disciplined, and put his money into a SEA-FLOW FAST RETIREMENT ACCOUNT …

Now CHAD is selling general Tso’s panda to the rubes in Splunkton, and he’s just another glowing example of what’s possible using our program.

OUR SEA-FLOW FAST RETIREMENT ACCOUNT is powered by BITCOIN.

We have 5 level-VPN-LASER locked server farms in Hong Kong cranking out coinages day and NIGHT. Our accounts contain investments in South African REITs and Argentinian Century Bonds. We’ve diversified into MOON BONDS, 10,000 YEAR GALAXY BONDS and various start-ups like QUANTUM DATING.

We have an ethereum contract structure using stardard DSC-448 type code flanks. Our gindous-ruul markers set the flame tolerance for outer and inner sales and misfortune.

Our underground VAMPIRE TONTINE AGREEMENTS allow our CLUB … cuz it is a nice club, and YOU’LL BE A MEMBER ….

Our vampire tontines will allow you and your wife and your 53 kids to visit one of our POWER CLUBS, where you’ll get to drink baby blood and have sex with warb-freaks and rub SKUUL OIL on your flesh rod.

You won’t believe your eyes when your WIFE comes home with Edgar the Frenchie trainer, and you can tell they’ve been playing “Old Miss Splimsly” under the bridge, cuz you can smell boovula sauce on HIS breath … well … at least you’re retired early.

Your kids will THANK YOU, as they get addicted to TRANQ at the Fentanyl Skate Park, and your eyes catch the glimmer of a metal bat as your face gets bashed in and your hope-farm gets buried under a landslide of FAIL-SCHEMES.

That’s how you retire early …

That’s how you get your revenge.

But you can’t WAIT for the next TOR-GULLEY EMO HAG TRAP …

There are skunk women, laying in wait, out there beyond the SECTOR WALLS where the squirrel nuggets are sold by the pound, and the kids dig for whisker-eggs all day.

You can save up your money and find that place of bliss, if the Florida Woman is willing to lead you down the storm drain.

A chance encounter at CHASE BANK led you to the CD banquet bar behind the safe. Crystal Tibbons is running the GORD MAGNET, as the RETIREMENT OFFICER sifts through Jerry’s underwear stash, from WALMART. Your WIVES prepare a lunch time buffet of slick-grease seed-oil chicken muggots and tryb-sausage from Carol’s donut palace.

FIRE is the way through.

Drunk teachers: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12313

Dreams: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12275

Free Market of Money: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12281

Soup lines: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12207

Ukraine War: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12307

Dogs: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12310

Bad Ideas Rule: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12317

Communists hate anarchists the most: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12320