"GRAVY FOR YOUR BRAIN!" – Conspiracy Theory (1997)
Category: SEA-FLOW
SEAFLOW STYLE NEW ZEALAND BEE POLLEN SPIDER EGG ENHANCED BULL TESTICLE EXTRACT products, to include butt plugs and suppositories, have revolutionized the worlds of KETO and PALEO MEAT SLICK style living.
ALL TROGLON TYPE BERGER-ZEEDS NEED TO BE READY FOR THE FINAL ASSAULT. WE'VE TAKEN 4 ISLANDS EAST OF HAWAII AND NOW INTEND TO LAUNCH A FULL FRONTAL LUNGE AT WESTERN SUMERIA WITH AN EYE TO OVERTURNING THE ASSYRIAN EMPIRE AND THE LAST LORDS OF FROLIC.
TEGOS-REE, THE ADMIRAL OF THE CENTRAL SEA, IS TAKING OUT SUBMARINE NETWORKS IN TASMANIA AND SOUTHERN DETROIT. NORD-STYLE BURGER BUCKETS ARE HUSTLING BEAN-DROPPINGS TO THE DUSTER FREAKS IN SECTOR 44 AND REGION OCTOBER. A MISSILE LAUNCH WAS DETECTED AMONG THE WHORE KEEPERS AND THE STREET WALKERS ARE SELLING SPECIAL-K TO THE COPS AND FEDS FROM FRESNO.
YOU ARE NOT SAFE!
YOU ARE NOT SAFE IN YOUR HONEYDEW MELON PARADISE!
YOUR FOOD IS NOT SAFE, IT IS FILLED WITH JASMINE-MAGGOTS AND OTHER SLIME-TICKS.
YOUR MIND IS NOT SAFE, IT IS CONCERNED WITH BIRTHDAY PARTY MINUTIA AND FAVORITE SONG BLISS TIED TO A LATE SPRING SUNSET SPICE RACK.
WHEN THE TIME COMES, BE READY TO ABANDON YOUR HEADQUARTERS AND DELETE ALL MESSAGES FROM SHEILA ... SHE'S A BITCH AND SHE'S STALKING YOU ... SO STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. SHEILA CANNOT BE TRUSTED, HER EYES ARE GREEN AND SPECKLED AND HER HEART IS IRON AND CABBAGE.
FOR THE TIME BEING ...
ALL CONDOMS AND TOILET PAPER WILL BE REUSED AND RECYCLED.
WE WILL CONSERVE OUR PRECIOUS MOISTURE AND YIELD ONLY THE COMMON STOCK FOR THE SWILL-BREEDERS IN THE CAVES OF HOUSTON. PARTY FAVOR JUGGLERS AND CLEVELAND WIZARDS SELL THEIR MAN-GOO TO THE RAIDERS IN SECTOR-2. NEVER BEFORE HAVE SO MANY GUZZLERS OF HERG-PASTE BEEN BROUGHT TOGETHER FOR A VICTORY WITHOUT PRECEDENT OR PAST.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE STRONG BODIES ...
MINDS CLEAR OF INFECTION OR FATE.
YOUR MIND-BODY PROBLEM IS ONE OF REGRET AND TRAUMA-FORECLOSURE.
YOUR MIND-SELF IS DISTORTED AND THE RADAR SYSTEMS IN CENTRAL KRASNOVIA ARE NO LONGER OPERABLE BECAUSE RED-DRAGON MISSILE RIDERS HAVE LOST ALL HOPE AND THE NYMPHO MISTRESS IS LONGING FOR STD RIDDEN JEDI LIVING ALONE IN THE DESERTS OF MEMORY.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE FALLEN.
THOSE GHOSTS THAT WRESTLE WITH CAUSALITY AND MAKE WAY FOR SMALLER LEGIONS OF TINY SOLDIERS MADE OF PUDDING.
INDIAN CALL CENTERS ARE STANDING BY TO HELP YOU WITH MEDICARE PARTS A AND B, AND NEW LIFE EXTENSION FINAL PLAN DEALS WHERE YOUR BODY PARTS CAN BE MARINATED IN DEAD MONKEY SAUCE AND THEN TOSSED INTO THE GANGES WHERE PRIESTS AND NUNS WILL POOP OUT THEIR VIGOR AND LEAVE YOUR NON-SELF IDENTITY TRAPPED IN A SMOG JAIL.
YOUR MOMS ARE WITH ME ... ALL OF THEM.
YOUR MOMS ARE MY HOOKER DREAM MAKERS.
THEY CARRY BATS AND CHAIN AND ROGAINE DART GUNS.
THEY ARE POWERED BY THE INFERNAL CAGE-RAGE OF NIGHTMARE PROPORTIONS.
DRIED AND EMPTY, YOUR MOMS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEIR HOOKER KING ... WHICH IS ME.
DENMARK IS SO OVER, IT'S BASIC ...
DENMARK IS BASIC.
DANISH FOOD IS BASIC.
DANISH DIALECT IS SLOW AND SMELLY AND BASIC.
YOU CAN SMELL THE REEF TORRENT COMING FROM A DANE'S MOUTH, IT IS BILE VENGEANCE AND SHIT THROAT CATACLYSM.
HERRING STORES ARE DROPPING AND THE COPENHAGEN SKETCH MARKET IS HOPPING WITH NOODLE CHALLENGES AND OLD FART FERRET RUSTLERS.
IT WILL ALL BE OVER WHEN DENMARK SINKS.
SEA-FLOW STYLE FROZEN BUTT PLUGS MAKE ALL OF THIS POSSIBLE. THIS SUMMER, FROZEN BUTT PLUGS WILL BE HUGE AMONG THE BOOMERS AND ZOOMERS, SITTING AT HOME, DRAGGING THEIR ASS MERCHANTS TO WALMART FOR THE FOOD SALE.
HOT TOPIC PROPHECY SPELLS DOOM FOR THE LAST OF THOSE OLD HAGS, AND THE CRONES ARE CAUGHT MALL WALKING WITH HORSEMEN AND ARCHERS.
BUILD A WALL AROUND YOUR HEART AND A MOAT AND FILL THE MOAT WITH SHARKS AND LAMPREY.
MAKE A HOME FOR THE SOUL PAIN, THIS IS BATTLE AND THE RATTLE OF BARS WILL HIGHLIGHT THE CRYSTAL SPILLWAY AND LEAVE YOU BARREN BEFORE BETSY THE BRA SALESMAN.
YOUR TENDER HEART WILL SPLIT WIDE OPEN WHEN YOU SEE THE BUSTED MASSES FLEEING THIS TENSE STANDOFF. HUNGRY HORDES ARE HOARDING WHORE JELLO AND THE LAST OF THE RESUPPLICANT PIMP CREW ARE CREATED ANEW BEFORE THE DYING SUNLIGHT. SMOKE RISES FROM THE BATTLE AS THE FIRES OF TORMENT BURN BLUE.
SPIDER EGG JELLY IS THE KEY TO VICTORY!
OUR MORGUE LEADERS ARE KILLING IT WITH SEAFLOW STYLE SPIDER EGG JELLY SOUP RECIPES AND TENDER VITTLE STYLE MEAT RESIDUE.
TIME TO ACCEPT THE END AS THE BEGINNING AND THE SEAFLOW LOVE SONG CARRIES THE DAY, AS THE BONG IS PASSED AND THE HOURS DECAY.
“ROTAB is the continuation of D.F.G.T.C. by other means.” – Dr. Freckles
This is a continued exploration of the GRAND IDEAS related to building a REPUBLIC of TIGERS and BEARS.
A list of animals to INTRODUCE to the cities and other beast zones … to RE-WILD our BROKEN MINDS …
Lions
Ligers
Tigers
Grizzly Bears
Hybrid Hairy Crocodiles and Gators (some in Georgia say this is already happening)
Hippos
Gorillas
Rabid Chimps
Panther
Cougar
Murder Hawks
Rabid Squirrels and Raccoons (some cities already have this)
Pigeons that have poisonous beaks and talons (some cities already have this)
And likely other creatures will be added … fuck if we won’t have sewer sharks.
We should foster and breed and feed these poor creatures our fears and failures. After EONS of WASTED TIME our PRIME RIB FUTURES ARE FORGED by the hunt – and hunted you will be, especially in the EAST … among the NPR folk and their Saturday Evening Post confusion.
We can give up the pain and REGAIN SKY FLAG POWER MAJESTY by burning away weakness and replacing it with dynamite and gasoline and chainsaws.
The nation will rejoice when the TIGER FEATS give way to new delights and fights in the streets; yours was always the broken way and now a tigers finds its way and lurks behind in the silent glass. The overpass is their home now and the homeless are slowly going away.
I’ll stand TALL above the plateau beauties, seeking out the SKLEEGE-SAUCE and street hormones and whacking the lonely bog-snakes that cannot run fast enough on the blues. Your home will be the sewer dungeons, my home will be the IRON GLADE – we are not the same, and I’m coming for your stuff baby.
I’m not finished selling this DREAM.
WHEN WE STARTED SEA-FLOW international, we knew our dreams were too fucking HUGE for the big boys in NYC; we were TOO BIG to think so small. The malls are gone, soon McDonald’s and all the rest; but the H-INDUSTRY will keep going, ask Spielberg and AIPAC. I think, after a nuclear holocaust, the ADL will still be there – accusing cockroaches of antisemitism … but I digress.
WE CAN RE-IMAGINE CITIES, like that 16 year old bullshit from 2020: you know, when we were convinced “social distancing” and cities worked … cuz they don’t, not together.
BUT IF YOU DUMB ASS BUTT MONKEYS believed in “social distancing” then WELL AS FUCK you should support the introduction of wildly dangerous and hilarious animals into our urban lives, making us slightly more urbane? … I dunno … but it works.
You cannot start with humans, these creatures consider us sacred. But you can start by feeding the bears and tigers and other creatures: Danish people, habituating them to sub-humans and then introducing human meat later. Are we brave enough to feed Danish people to these blood thirsty beasts in order to save the world? – I sure hope so, it may take all the Danish :(.
Are you scared? – that’s great, this is what makes me hopeful.
Are you worried? – you better be bro, or DUDE.
Are you ready? – you can be, if you unlock the power of SEA-FLOW style spider-egg pills and freezable butt plugs.
The tiger awaits, and so does WERNER – so let’s not disappoint the THROBBING THRONG of gormless yokals and half witted stripper cowboys.
If you are over 50 years old you need to insert a searing anal teaser into your buttocks. You gotta test for CAM-BORG prostate minerals, when you have a chance you should call your mom and ask about the pigeon bacon and terg-bits. Your brother-dad keeps track of the blood bargains at JC PENNY’S, but your own underwear memories are fading fast and there’s no space for dirty Halloween with the Hebrew from Whidbey Island.
SEAFLOW makes an anal swab container set, you can remove and store samples and then send those samples to your friends and family and neighbors and Trump. Your sample can be sent with a simple questionnaire for your COLO-CHECK friends to answer:
1. What does it smell like? 2. What does it look like? 3. Did you take a little of the sample and rub it on your toast? 4. Are you happy about being a COLO-CHECK friend? 5. Do you intend to sue your COLO-CHECK friend? 6. Did you touch it?
COLO-CHECK friends are the KEY to the SEAFLOW colo-check system. Your “friends” smell and touch and taste your fecal samples and anal butt swabs. They observe and post pictures on TIK TOK and YOUTUBE. After days of analysis, some kind of fucking response comes back in the questionnaire. Your colo-check friend cares about you and your bleeding intestines.
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS are KITE TAILORS and ready for a fight! They will take the energy abundance of your anal blood shit swabs and turn that border party into a shanty town hustler. Your MOMS will be DESTROYED when the boys from Bounty Town show up for the fete. And the oiled boobies shine in the darkness, to save the lost from the fire.
The butt colon scooper is a DRYB device or razor sharp COLO-SPOON:
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS will dress up in fake porn-star doctor outfits and insert the SPOON TOOL in order to extract fecal swab samples and other impacted bowel type river droppings. Some TURD-MERGLER phantom-fucked your grandma-sister, and this left an indelible mark upon the porcelain and the ore basin.
Your FRIENDS will insert the COLO-SPOON, using 400 foot pounds of force. The sausage squeeze forms and then tolg-residue is left behind on the satin sheets. Your washing machine will be crimson and beet as you too sweet your cream pie mystery into folder sphincter mastery.
If you don’t have a colo-check friend, we’ll find one for you.
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS are the best at parties and HYDROGENATED herbal steer roundups. Your buttercup mansion can be built and your ONE TRUE LOVE can be there for you, cooking up coyote rascal mutton flakes and other scarab beetle melee puddings.
SO USE COLO-CHECK SEAFLOW ENABLED COLO-SPOONS!
Let the power of spider egg gels power your bowel movements!
You have the stagnant puddle flower gleam. You get this from standing too close to the seam, to those barnacle hookers from GRAND STAND libido-ville; with tender thighs and mind carpet mastery. You were conceived before the HEGDON PRIESTS and made the first watcher, cast aside by time and left alone with the ORANGE TORPEDO WARRIOR ETHOS.
Forrest Gump left you empty neo-con promises of deconstructed RAMBO revenge fantasies. NOTHING will clean the rivers of S.E. ASIA, and those waters will spawn cancer and birth defects and autoimmune for 10,000 years. We will be gone by then, and the waters will still be foul and cursed by time. That’s what FORREST GUMP gave you: a herpes infested bowel-side nightmare future where giant lamprey rats chase your grand children down the alleyways of fate.
I am sorry you have herpes. I really am.
I am sorry that PAPA BLUMP deceived you, I am sorry, I just am so very fucking sorry.
I am sorry you listen to fools because you think surface==structure and ergo you will buy the NEW ZEALAND STYLE BULL TESTICLE BEE POLLEN SAUCE for $400 a bottle; you know you’re gonna do it, and I am fucking sorry about it.
No dick can be too big (cue TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC), but they can be too small. Your dick might be small, my dick might also be small. Get over it. Women are the THIRST MERMANS that hang your balls below the mast of BOOVULA MAGIC and stake claim to your shit … and your monies … and your time, oh precious time. DAMN WOMEN FOR STEALING TIME, and dearly so sorry for this calamity too …. too … too muchacho.
Your last midnight cowboy hookup left you the FREIGHT WEIGHT of a slower gait and some weird blue pus coming from a place of special memories, and hot sideways action. Your own moms don’t recognize you, as you scuttle down WALMART looking for HALF OFF CORN SYRUP MEAT CUBES and other carbohydrate rich poison salve for the wounds of the HEART and Derrida’s PHARMAKON be damned to the hell of effete bowman tiring of arrow scan hallucinated Parisian style dancing walnut hookers. I’m sorry about all of this as well.
THE MARKETS WILL CLEAR when there is no longer beer, or meat, or bread, or deer. The sky turns dark from SKY HAWK SHAMAN MAJESTY and the gray smeared out cloud mass they call weather.
Chomp on your gumbit meat when the time comes, and take your hewn mashing bowl with you as you lose your teeth. Mash out cold roach paste with barely cooked rice, mash out the pasta poog surprise jerkey and get yourself a turpin-wife. You will be sorry, I too will feel a great ennui. RUN FORREST RUN, all the way to the sun, making way for GRAPE SHOT missile strikes and the sad farewell of Venezuelan fishwives and their brood living in squalor over oceans of oil. They too shall reap the whirlwind of PAPA BLUMP’S kindness. I am not sorry sorry, because you all MAGA folk should have figured this out in 2020.
“Papa Blump couldn’t do nothing”, back in 2020 … yeah … you live/die/stale with that.
I sell SEAFLOW TYPE BODY VITAMIN NUTRIENTS. You can make homespun ice suppositories, and insert these into your anus to stay cooler during the Summer months. Your CUNT WIZARDRY will do NOTHING in the path of those hairy lesbian Karren-hodlers who no longer concern themselves with body odor or breeding. Chisel out the whistle gantries for them, and let the funken-folk spin in the winds of late Autumn, as Winter approaches to fuck you up.
My vitamin mixtures are nearly 100% fool proof. You can take them before you ungunjoolate your womens and they will have 6 or 7 orgasms … and you will find peace in this …
YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY PRIME TIME PRE-BLACK-BOOTY-FRIDAY-STYLE-COMMERCE-ATHON! I demand your attention because FUCK YOU.
Did you know that our spider egg gels and powders and ointments have been known by the ancients as the ultimate means of DEEP THROMBOUS LIVING? YOU WANT TO HAVE BEEF EATER GIN style sex with your lady, but you notice the blemish on the flesh and it’s a no go at ho-down Betty’s. It could be worse, but at SEAFLOW CORPORATION? – we’re so fucking sorry about Forrest Gump.
YOUR NUT WILL BURST and become the worst threat at the night clubs. Women will sense your skeevy energy and transform themselves into the wench-matrons of old. No longer will your sadness beacon scream “EAST GERMAN PISS HANDLER”, but rather the lather of a milky white unguent lurks below, if you can tap into BOBLIMPTOCK WISDOM.
So get out there GUMP-TON FREAKS, and leave your hunger hangover leftover burdens aside. You can’t HIDE from your STAR MISTRESS, and she’ll find you …
