Last days of normal …

Smoky lands
with sandy nights
bloody hands
dunk'n delights
candy cake fright
with clock
and sock
and block
left torn
below the horn

Broken strands
careless coughing
journey's height
well in sight
mountain song pass
out of gas
with stolen hours
and flowers
rough and sour
for the gang
spread
rough
guff
on fire
devour

100 GRAND
in the account
spending spree
jubilee
food and drink
spirits sore
at the stand
checking out
two bags of onions
and a can of meat
what do you think?
Your heart sinks
empties
residue dreams
you leave the store
galore
don't pout or plea

WHAT A CHORE!
kept alone
cut to the bone
hard as stone
bled dry
always HIGH
ever nigh
made from crone

$11.99
It's all fine
ELEVEN NINETY NINE
bottle of turnip wine
blog-meat
under the seat
dried out
saddle taste
don't waste
you found the burger
now cast your fortune
unwind
it's available
for $11.99

Cog-paste? - $11.99
Old-paint flakes? - $11.99
Moldy bread? - $11.99
Blood soup instead? - $11.99
Clem beets? - $11.99
Open bay hornet honey? - $11.99

Eleven Ninety Nine
everything is fine

Eleven Ninety Nine
works every time

Eleven Ninety Nine
for ONE OUNCE of beef
a body buried beneath
the never ending lie
a line to be crossed
and in the lost
with the ghosts
we find more
or most
of what's left

LAST FOOD

LAST FOOD
for the brood
the machine was crude
put me in a 'tude
as the fat burned off
a little cough
from the viral goo
and a smile from the screen
not mean
ever seen
when the twirled taters
and onion craters
crack your spleen

NOT GOOD
when the heart cracks
and the back leaks
as eyes glow in the night
no fright
just now
a yellow blight
a cow
a wolf
a bat
or a rat
all on sale
in the bale
blue and green
all in the TACO pouch
covered in RED
"Hope it's dead"
sad the grouch

SOME DUDE
too rude for service
sells slurry
kind of furry
near the ferry
his name was Jerry
"Get more slop"
and the cop
with fists of fury
pounded the poor beast
and in silence
a line so long
no song
just spilled grease

TELL JUDE
to put the fam
on the tram
go to the central store
a whore
named Jelly
in her belly
carries the protein core
a modest proposal
a deal of Molech stench
a bum on the bench
dies quick
sick?
hit him with a wrench
load the body
it's not naughty
a necessary pick
so slick
the last day for "Rick"

THE LAST MEAL
by the bay
with Jay and Sal
your tent pals
a sun sets
as the sky turns black
and food
on the roll
in the bowl
red and brown
with a frown
gobble it down

LAST FOOD
LAST FOOD

"FIVE MINUTES"
said the clown
at the gate
no hate
you just wait
for the last food
it's not too late

SLATFISH

I was at the grocery store, and something SPECIAL was on sale: slatfish.

Slatfish …

“$3.00 a pound … that’s a deal”, I thought.

On the LABEL it said that slatfish is “a tangy Tilapia type surge-horn yellow-stripe perch with arms and legs and vigor and glowing green eyes and a HERO’S APPETITE … SLATFISH are healthy white-style fish, intended for Tennessee hooker weddings and lazy country afternoons with Thelma Borecrotch of the church choir.”

It seemed an intriguing bite-dish. I could serve this to the people at my job I truly love.

Slatfish have parasites … like the verz-worm.

The verz-worm is a South American butt-herpes infestation that enters your body when someone IN YOUR FAMILY eats slatfish and then uses the common shower. These worms will fill your soul with heavy metal delight and if not taken care of will lead to NEW SETTLEMENTS along the SALTON SEA.

Lots of stories from Federal Way near Seattle of slatfish slunking out of Lake Washington and stealing and eating French bulldogs and pugs. More than a few avocado witches have raised complaints concerning this DISASTER. While most don’t care, one Seattle denizen claimed that “these wretched little dogs are Danish toys of thoughtlessness, they need to be fed to the six gill sharks.” Others have echoed this sentiment.

They say the slatfish are wandering and taking their time … they are in no hurry to reach a destination, not like the monkeys that toss their poop about.

The best way to cook slatfish is on a slat of cedar wood, hence the name. You carve the slatfish into Philly cheese steak dimensions, frying the fish in seed oils and discarded boob-gurglings. You add cilantro and tomato and celery and pepper, cucumber slices and cornbread pudding sklizz. Brush it off with carrot juice gloss and serve moldy and lukewarm to guests from Copenhagen.

Slatfish are cool mixtures of pain sorcery and nightingale pomp. Your MOM’S BOOVULA will INTINGOOLATE at the thought of frozen slatfish style butt plug recipes, for August, when it gets HOT.

Slatfish are high in OMEGA-15 butt crack compounds and other GET RICH QUICK nutrient salves. Your MUSK WOMAN will HURL her GIRL SPEW when she sees that body renewal from slatfish oils activated by SEAFLOW power energy spider egg crystals and micro-butt-plugs.

Slatfish is being sold at WHOLE FOODS and WALMART. It comes in cans that are colored red and green for easy identification. This is a kind and tender sandwich spread and you can use this instead of tuna or cave-slug.

When it comes to common MEAT substitutes, to include elbow-rat and long-pig, slatfish contain 124% more MICRO-VITAMINS and TRANS-FAT-NUTRITIONAL grease-oils. Your HEART will thank you for this bounty.

Monkey heart’d fringe-folk are making strawberry sliders using slatfish, adding it to their soups and salads and dryg-pudding recipes. Slatfish is taking the ROYAL SCENE by storm, as KINGS and QUEENS partake in this latest rake of roaming sea savagery and land omens.

Crisis in the foothills is making it harder to find the dreary beasts who move from pond to pond eating algae and stealing WiFi. Slatfish are semi-aware and looking for love connections with MILF type farmer wenches who sell their thigh-crispy sufferings to wandering hobo camps and football stars.

There’s no need to forget how many pup-women were sacrificed to OPEN THE WAY for keto bros and paleo junkies. Dirg-quadrant squid foragers reported seeing weird lights in the sky, and bats with machine guns ruling the NIGHT. All of this was the opening to our food future and slatfish FEAST.

Several hundred fishermen go missing each year, looking for slatfish, down at the wharf. Some of them carry jugs of merman-mead and jester-goop, others are seen falling asleep under pickup trucks with coke farmers. Danish pimps, with pursed lips and cursed words, move out into the countryside to find JOY SPIRIT in the fields and coves. Loaves of bread are offered to the TREE SPIRITS and green leaf mornings give way to endless brown and red desert fortunes.

Slatfish are chain-hunters. They hide in the closets and old cardboard boxes left by the roadside in small towns in Appalachia. They peak out of the hollers and valleys and torn up forests of Doobinsville and Grophley, Kentucky. Weary from battle, these cave-salamanders spend their Friday nights drinking moonshine and killing time playing cards with old bards.

The slatfish chase our monkey future and give nothing in return.

My heritage is monkey heritage, and my people are monkey people.

Monkeys were here before the slatfish and will remain as the clock winds down.

Monkeys have cool groove style and will TRAVEL MILES to have fried slatfish and gravy.

I was made by a monkey.

You were made by a monkey.

I am a monkey.

You are a monkey.

Monkeys will eat me, and they will make MORE monkeys.

You will make monkeys and be eaten by monkeys.

Merry Christmas.

“20 RIBEYES for 40 BUCKS …”

"20 RIBEYES for 40 BUCKS!"
screeched the meat monger
from the back of his truck

GERMAN SHIPPERS
hip hop slippers
place your kippers
in the basket
flippers will lose
their shoes
and nothing remains

Insane ARAB PRIESTS
MAGICIANS and SPRITES
fall by the side
in the night
no one saw them
say goodbye
on their way
to the weekly fry
don't look
at the tattoo
on the steak

NAVAL goo-stew
the home brew
for the TROOPS
for the scoops
and we can
RAISE THE FLAG
it's a gag
as marines eat
flea soup
in the heat

Don't look for
the tattoo
it's there
barely in sight
what a FRIGHT
it shall be
when NEIGHBOR TOM
stops BY
with hungry kids
and wife crying
and baby dying
of hunger and thirst
they'll see
your tattoo
and they won't care
they'll just bear it
and eat

twenty ribeye steaks
for the makings
and potato pie
with peas and carrots
and a salad
in the rear view
mirror ...

Don't look
for the tattoo
on the steak

GTFO of the CITIES …

  1. If you live in a town or city with a population >10,000 and your town/city uses industrial methods for water purification and your food gets shipped in? – leave.
  2. You won’t receive warning from the government, the people in charge now are 3rd/4th stringers, do you recall WHY the basketball coach would let 3rd and 4th string play?
  3. Once it begins, and that threshold date is weeks away, it will be unrelenting, discontinuous, non-linear, cascading and brutal. If you PLAN on PLANNING after this point? – you are in deep shit.
  4. RIGHT NOW, if you intend to stay in an urban/sub-urban zone, you need to be talking to your neighbors, forming a voluntary security force for your neighborhood. Figure out basic services if THE SERVICES are not available: a) water purification and supply, b) basic food stuffs, c) security, d) basic medical care. If you intend to do this work AFTER day zero? – you are fucked.
  5. In the cities, most of your neighbors have no moral compass, by design. The public school system that’s raised your kids for a few decades has produced fear-driven amoral freaks that will quickly transition to theft, violence, and madness. YOUR SOCIETY WAS “WIRED TO EXPLODE” before most of you were born: you see this in the fashion, the vehicles, the buildings, the accouterments of modernity. In every SUV-RAMBLE-WARRIOR-CARGO-PANTS-SPORTS-JACKET zombie is the seed of the truth and we should have known but we didn’t, mostly, GAF.
  6. Cities are heat islands. Without air conditioning, modern cities can broil in the sun and there is nothing you can do to stop this. If you say “but Dan, I can build artificial shade” – you can puddle flower, and the poors who have no shade will crowd your home and you don’t have enough bullets.
  7. The “good cops” don’t care, the bad cops will bug out. Some of the bad cops will stay and form violent thug armies. If you think the SEATTLE POLICE DEPARTMENT will protect you? – yeah, maybe they’ll show up the next day to identify the bodies, assuming the bodies are still there. During a famine, a dead body can be fed to pigs and chickens – just being honest. You can also eat the dead – just being honest. So no, puddle flower, there might not be a body for the “good cops” to mock 24 hours later. But the cops will have bugged out.
  8. It is MORE LIKELY, in this crooked neo-Stalinist hellhole, that the markets KEEP GOING UP days and perhaps WEEKS after there is no animal protein at the grocery store, and probably after there is no discernible food.
  9. A modern city, in the JUST-IN-TIME logistics network, has about 7-10 days of food. In a heat wave with a blackout? – this gets worse, no refrigeration. You can say “but Dan, I can hunt deer”: yo BRO, how many people DO YOU KNOW that KNOW HOW to properly harvest deer? Know how to use NON REFRIGERATION METHODS of preservation? Could you build a smoking shack in your city backyard? And how does this NOT attract the various thug armies and bum brigades looking for food? Good luck with your food.
  10. You will not “hike out” of the city – this will involve moving through miles of HELL zones, barricades and chaos and lots of poors angry as fuck.
  11. If you live in a city by the sea, BUY A FUCKING BOAT. Recreational kayaks can work as well, but you need a cheap and effective way to distance yourself from the crowds: water works really well. You will not be DRIVING OUT of the city, and if you do drive out – how far do you think you can get? – get a fucking boat.
  12. Purchase a CB radio that you can pack up and move with limited notice. Ideally you have some kind of Faraday protection for this device – but get a CB, properly tune the antenna, start practicing with it.
  13. BUY A SHORTWAVE RADIO.
  14. You can still buy some shelf stable food at relatively low prices for the next few weeks: rice, beans, ramen, curry/tumeric spice, multivitamins. This will be your cheapest path RIGHT NOW. Canned chicken and sardines is still relatively cheap. Sardines are packed with a lot of nutrition – and although this violates my “don’t eat seafood rule”, sardines might be your best option to stay alert and well fed. Sardines plus rice will keep you alive.
  15. If you put your home up for sale TODAY there is a reasonably good chance (neo-Stalinist hellhole) that Blackrock or some other bank will swoop in and buy it. Don’t ask questions, get the best price you can, buy a piece of property some place BETTER (Roosevelt, Utah is a little known survival gem). If you can get to the tip of South America, that would be ideal – but that’s not a likely goal for ordinary people. Even if you left for S. America today, be prepared to pay the fees, and the bribes, to get INTO that community. Learn the language, go native, make sure you have physical gold and silver. US dollars and bitcoin will only enrage people and lead to your death.
  16. Do not move anywhere NEAR or down range from a boiling water nuclear power plant, this includes places that have hydrology or water table risks from radiation if a BWR goes melts down.