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PENULTIMATE

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20260724_PENULTIMATE.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/g1njrbr3d

“NEWS”: Zero Hedge

Walleye Worries: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29166

Catfish Cancer: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29163

MAGNETS: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29145

UNLEADED CHOCOLATE?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29152

BLACK DEMON SHARK: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29148

THE ULTIMATE THREAT: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29139

OLD MAN: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29131

SETTLER IDEOLOGY: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29128

TACO BELL: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29122

MY-ABETES: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29118

DAMN FAILURES: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29113

DROUGHT and HOME INSURANCE: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29109

HITTING ISRAELIS (and then there’s Professor Marandi, out of casting): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=29105

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MAGNET JUNKYARD BREADWICH HOPE

I made myself a sandwich out of eggplant and shame. I piled on cooter cheese and dog hair and dried stripper blood and old ground up peanut grease left over from last Easter. We put this shit in the oven at 400 degrees for 12 hours, until the material is a black puck and ready for power insertion.

I invite others over for dinner …

I usually add a RAMEN CASSEROLE. You smash up 6 ramen packets and mix in the beef flavor and a few eggs and spider legs. You add lima beans and durable battery acid substitutes from VIETNAM. If there are discarded fish from the wharf that even the seagulls and crows ignore? – then toss that harness-boog into the batch and watch it hatch parasite mystery flavor.

Within 72 hours, very few guests complain.

After such a hearty meal I head to the landfill for magnet fishing. I go with a magnet rod system and a geiger counter and a hooker from Australia named “Jade”. You’d be amazed by the kinds of SHITE we’d pull out of that swamp. Musker-birds, hunting the orphans from the zoo, would howl and cry as the night went by.

Sometimes we’d find old discarded radiological material from the cancer hospitals. Dark metal containers filled with radium and curium and einsteinium and other kinds of late night fun. We’d called in THREATS to the local ROCK’N’ROLL station, demanding nonstop Styx for 77 days, but now we’d have the dirty bombs to make it real … what a deal for just some work at the landfill.

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Old Man

Old man
awaiting the clock
don't balk
don't flail
summertime sets sail
scan the seas
eat your peas
bend your knees
to the KING of FLEAS

Old man
burnt by the sun
having fun
on the run
carry that shotgun
BANG!
That's what she sang
on the STAGE
with RAGE
she's a sage
of the trees

Old man
hurting from the fight
it's alright
the sky is turning red
but you're not dead
remember what
the old shaman
SAID:
"Keep calm
keep clear
have another beer
let your
dear one
go ... she was a HO"
And remember bro,
she gave you a disease

Old man
your wife is fucking
your dad
you've had all
you can have
your world
is full
of twirling
nightmares ...
So stop
look out
no matter the season
you'll find a reason
lock the door
throw away the keys

Old man
regret torn
forlorn hole
find your soul
lost on the streets
grab yourself a TREAT
from HOOKER JANE
she's insane
she'll let you
grab her TANG
for a slab
from the jab
and the herpes sleaze

Old man
go to Japan
find the STORE
where the WHORE
hit the FLOOR
and her GORE
red spout
all about 
it was a rout
no time to pout
just SHOUT
as loud as you can:
"No more land,
just sand,
and dead trees."