Daniel Sullivan, Author at PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

January 5, 2026January 5, 2026

Why?

I saved you for bacon paradise falls, carousing with kindle spirits, and your curtain rod love affair with BILL doomed us. Why did I save you?

I served your gungous-MOM in the caverns of Elbis, while robot turgin-nords observed my broken body and bloody stool. You couldn’t stop my pubic fury, why would you try. I had sky juice on the loose looking towards a broken ceiling of zazzy hazy madness. Why did I serve you when my anus was prolapsed?

I remember standing in the burning sun with my 6 armies, prepared to storm the outskirts of S’compton, in search of boovula magic sauce and the 8 oils of complete womanly exultation. I gathered rubies and emeralds and monkey gold and gave these gifts to my wives, and i GAVE THEM TO YOU MAN … and you took the loot and went for your skoot out to the edge of the solar discus. Why did I stand there when your own genital crabs had aids?

January 4, 2026January 4, 2026

GUNBOAT DIPLOMACY

Here we are:

People are going to make “comparisons” to other conflicts, given our history in that part of the world I think the best comparison would be to the “Banana Wars”.
Technically, GUNBOAT DIPLOMACY is the use of force to open up diplomatic relations: see Japan 19th Century and CMDR PERRY.
If there is still time on the clock, then expect this to be more like the 2011 LIBYA MODEL – we take the oil, take logistics required to support the oil, but we mostly neglect the interior and hand it over to drug lords, but they’ll be OUR drug lords. We might try to put someone in charge and provide limited support, but I doubt will connect ourselves too deeply to any one given dictator.