Category: Planetary Status Reports

I CAN TOSS YOU THROUGH TIME – to the Spring of 1993.

THERE YOU’D SEE a BUILDING with fire-lightning screams and the seams busting open. RED FLANNEL DRESSES and messes on the floor, as ATF FUCK-STRANGLERS joke about “long shots” and “did you see that kid’s head explode when I hit him”, SNIPER TROOP, scooping poop from their own diseased hearts, acting as FLAMING CHEEK GOBLINS, taking turns shoving potatoes up each other’s butts. THERE you could have a FORTRESS with walls stronger than the longest 4 steak sandwich. And YEARNING you will find that your color is RED and YELLOW and BLACK. What color is your compound?

YOU DUG A HOLE in the NATIONAL FOREST, like a VIETCONG CUB SCOUT. You didn’t POUT when your wife left you for your uncle-brother, and your MOTHER’S TEETH got replaced with STEEL, because her diabetes was quite bad and nothing would heal. So you tossed her arms and legs and morning trophies onto the PYRE and LIT THAT FIRE and ghost’ed away to the WOODS. YOUR GREEN MEANIE SCARS show THROUGH and that HOT GOO for Cyndi Lou sticks quite firm as dried mistakes on a blue dress. YOUR COMPOUND is GREEN, and unseen – but the old ones see you, and master your fate.

YOUR COMPOUND is your PARACHUTE and your PARACHUTE is a golden shower. YOUR POWER is derived from living a GUSTO EXISTENCE, both hidden and seen as it pleases you, with anchored triple-strand concertina wire protecting the gardens of your soul.

THESE are the VIBRATIONS of your COMPOUND SELF:

1 – OBSTACLES

YOUR COMPOUND must be EMBITTERED with angry LEGO spirits. You wake up, it’s early, the lights are OFF, and some fucking smartass leaves a LEGO on the ground, and without a SOUND your naked old foot, covered in fungal infections, takes a STEP, you leapt, cuz the pain is so severe and you screamed “FUCK” so loud everyone could hear.

Holes are great, and easy to deploy. Ensure you keep a map of all these holes somewhere tucked deep in your reptile mind. Dig trenches and holes, plant punji sticks at the bottom of deadfalls, pee on the sticks and poop on them, such that your enemy can die as the KOMODO hunts.

You can chop down trees and crosshatch them as you fell them. This makes it hard for the weak minded and the frail. In a rats nest of fallen timber, you can hide the LIMBER SPARK of claymore mines and other such IEDs of the spirit. As they take turns hacking away, you can trigger that explosive and watch them FLY AS HIGH AS EAGLES, and it will look so funny from 500 meters away.

A bridge is KEY TERRAIN, a blown-out or washed-out bridge is a problem.

If you have no need for that bridge, get rid of it, it will not serve you or your cloven wives.

A landslide is a great way to block a passage, and sometimes it’s GREAT to trigger this annoyance with an explosive, burying the first ranks in mud and rock.

Don’t be afraid to use cars to block roads, don’t be afraid to permanently disable the vehicles.

A sunken boat can block an inlet, and makeshift dragon’s teeth below the waves can send many a butt-pirate to their graves.

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST, stock up on CONCERTINA WIRE and BARBED WIRE; know the difference, understand HOW to deploy both. If you live on the 8th floor of some hooker paradise, and you’ve got the SCOOBY SNACKS and CAT LITTER but you want to keep out the FLOW-JOES? – then build a SKEIN of concertina wire and barbed wire in the stairwell – the elevators no longer work.

Construction RIP RAP that will be trucked away can be yours: go to some site and make an offer. Those twisted chunks of concrete and rebar are just the fucking LEGO you’re looking for.

2 – OVERWATCH

YOU CAN’T LIVE if you DON’T SEE.

Even the blind can see, but they do so with their EARS. WHEN picking a compound location, you really want it to be the case that: a) YOU can see people coming and b) THEY can’t see you at all. But it’s good to hear too, ideally your location allows you the ability to HEAR something long before it arrives. These are ideals cartoon soldier.

If you have a community, then you need a security plan; part of that plan is the deployment of forward observers. These folks man outposts on the edge of your NEW WORLD, after the collapse, after the TRUMP WASHING wears off. These observers will have a means to communicate with your HQ, ideally field phones, but simple handheld radios can work.

If you have money, you can buy remote solar powered sensors and cameras – but don’t go too high-tech. Sometimes the BEST signal is cans on a string, and that’s some low tech garbage any hooker can do.

OVERWATCH and CONCEALMENT are at odds, honestly …

The ideal location in terms of camouflage can be the WORST location to observe your enemy from. But, if you can work in teams and have a community, then this problem becomes workable and you CAN have your COMPOUND and see the enemy too.

3 – KEY TERRAIN

THESE LISTS ARE NOT PERFECT …

For you, the GOMBO-FREAK:

• Good land for farming
• Access points for drinkable water
• Main routes of travel (also see: avenues of approach)
• High points for long distance observation
• Fishing/Hunting Grounds
• Nearby gas/electric generation you can take over and run
• Nearby communications/WWW hubs you can take over and run
• Abandoned logistical facilities that contain long-term shelf safe food
• Harbors and inlets
• Small rural airports
• Large open areas to facilitate air-assault and airborne ops (your enemy’s might use, meaning: FEDs)
• Nearby cell phone or mobile towers you can take control of

FOR THE FEDs:

• Nuclear Power Plants
• Natural Gas Electric Plants
• Chemical Plants / Oil Refining
• WWW Hubs (you can make a map)
• Cell Phone Towers and their locations
• Military Bases
• Interstate Highways and bridges/tunnels
• Railroad lines, bridges, tunnels
• Container Offloading Facilities / Ports
• Large rivers
• Underground CIA child abuse dungeons
• Mar a Lago
• Airports
• Harbors
• Nuclear weapons sites
• Black Sites
• Porn Hub Content Servers
• Jew Tunnels

The KEY MESSAGE for KEY TERRAIN: key terrain is any land or fixed structure that the LOSS of IT would cause YOU great harm or give your enemy an advantage.

4 – AVENUES OF APPROACH

An avenue of approach is the land, sea or air based path of approach that is easiest for your ENEMY or anyone headed your direction.

A stream or river or creek can be an avenue of approach: it isn’t rapid, and not for heavy machinery or vehicles, but it provides a natural COVER and the noise of the water can mask the sound of troops moving.

Obviously: some shitty state highway or interstate or county road is an avenue of approach. However, most of these shitty constructions will turn to dust in about 5 years; that’s about how well we build roads, these days. But still, the dirty muddy dusty path that used to be I-5 will be useful for those strange travelers from beyond.

A railroad track path tends to follow the IDEAL slope path, and often has access roads build nearby. Many kinds of military vehicles, tracked armored type vehicles, can use the path created by the railroad tracks as a makeshift road as well. YOUR ENEMY might use trains to move troops and logistical materials, so this is WHY a railroad track is key terrain and WHY sometimes the best idea is to dismantle the tracks completely, blow the bridges.

AIRCRAFT, especially military aircraft, have IDEAL avenues of approach. Helicopters can take advantage of river valleys and canyons, also using the echo effects and ambient noise to mask and misdirect their enemies. Close support aircraft like the A-10 are designed to endure HIGH TURBULENE low altitude flying. There’s not a lot you can do with FUDD TECH against CAS aircraft, but you can string a canyon with steel cable and NOT include the flashing red light – cuz that was BOBLIMPTOCK, and it’s GRINKEN TIME NOW BRAH!

5 – COVER

Logs and mud can be deployed in such a way that they provide both COVER and concealment. But the priority about COVER is protection against: military caliber rifles, crew served weapons, light and heavy machine guns, indirect fires and other explosives. A simple log-house bunker, using rock, sand, dirt, mud, as the “mortar” to fill in the gaps between logs. If your compound color is GREEN, this is a great way to build the split level cabin/underground dwelling space.

COVER is NOT concealment, cover is what stops a bullet or a fragment from a nearby exploding artillery or mortar round.

COVER YOU CAN LIKELY DEPLOY won’t protect against bunker busting bombs or any average attack by the defense forces of Israel (they be bombing at 10,000 tons of TNT per square mile these days).

6 – CONCEALMENT

ARE YOU SPIDER MAN?

Are you invisible?

WHEN YOU IMAGINE THE COLOR OF YOUR COMPOUND do you think CRYSTAL PEPSI?

To be hidden is to be unknown, occult.

To be hidden is to be like night, like the wind, like gravy chariots running down the ice mountain, running from wolves.

To be hidden is to be ignored, and this is CRITICAL.

What if I told you the color of your COMPOUND is brown and green and gray? What if you and your BITCH CLAN of the SEATTLE JUNGLE built a portable set-up from cardboard and tape and garbage bags and parachute cord and love? What if you built a set up that could be packed on the back, and folded out FAST, so that WHEREVER the fuckers of SLEEGIT VILLE SEND YOU, you can move on out quickly and have your new home set up FASTER than BRISKETS. But it has to look bad – your shambles has to look like it’s covered in vomit and fecal matter and dried blood.

THE BEST DISGUISE is THEIR apathy.

IF YOUR COLOR IS “HIDDEN”, then you can avoid those harmful interactions when the homeowner starts going all “Bill Pasquale” because they’ve had the FOR SALE sign UP for 4 months, and no one is stopping by, and you’ve dropped the price 7 times.

CONCEALMENT is NOT cover: so get some ballistic blankets you can toss over your moving hovel, to save you the trouble of burying your street-whore girlfriend.

CONCLUSION:

YOUR WITCH STRENGTH is in KNOWING that there’s a place for you, and your kin, when Grinken Time begins.

NO IDEAL compound exists, ask Hitler …

You can bury yourself 900 feet below the surface of the earth, and drink whiskey and watch old movies. You can have a compact nuclear power source, water and food for 3,000 years. You can make mashed potatoes and gravy and eat this in your dirty underwear while dreaming about Sydney Sweeney – no matter tired old barn cat, you gotta scat and find your comfort valley up in the woods.

If you are driving through UTAH and see a sign that says: “THESE ARE YOUR PUBLIC LANDS”. THEN STOP ON BY and set up your compound on YOUR public lands. Build ramparts and dig wells, take a STAB at drying sheds for VENISON and farming local trout. Your CARROT TOP lovers will SPILL THE CREAM when your stony temple comes into scene.

YOU NEED YOUR HOME.

They want you to burn.

G.M.F.Y.I.L.Y.

Link: https://planetarystatusreport.com/pdf/20161010_dfgtc.pdf