Category: Planetary Status Reports

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COME see MY movie …

Come see my movie …

My movie is about crazy times when some NUKE goes off in Splunkton, so the wheel-whores move up to the hills to live like rifle-kings. Janet BO-GARTEN leads the PACK of mullet bearers, as a tarnished army is left to suffer in Phoenix.

My movie has taco bandits and weird special effects …

And if you PRE-ORDER tickets online? – you get a chance to win a bitcoin and a tiny house …

My movie will reveal the truth of space harlotry and all the alien nutjob shit. You’ll be catapulted beyond the galaxy in a sable-star cruiser called MISTY HEART and bleeding gums style pottery classes will be held on Tuesday. Your FRUITCAKE LOVER is covered in seed oils and the bile creeps from beyond …

And buddy, if you buy the tickets online: you will get a chance to win a BITCOIN and a tiny house and a midget hooker named Leslie …

There will be PEAK MOMENTS of PURE DRAMA when the LEADING MAN takes his flamethrower and sets fire to the illegal aliens, screaming racists expletives and crying loudly over his slain dog. The valley burns, as the chestnut wives yearn for that freckled loving from Sir Gowlain, not refraining from their lusty ways; it’s okay to see this for the wickedness that it is.

And listen …

If you PRE-REGISTER for this AWESOME FILM? – you’ll GET:

  1. One bitcoin.
  2. A tiny as fuck fucking house.
  3. A midget hooker named “Leslie”
  4. A dog with AIDS …
  5. Six boxes of 22 LR HORNETS, 100 rounds per …
  6. A star-fucks gift card …
  7. Collector’s edition GIRLS GONE WILD on BLUE RAY …

THE ENDING OF MY MOVIE IS TRANSFORMATIVE …

You see some BITCH, wearing cut-off jean JORTS and a flimsy top …

SHE STANDS upon the LEDGE of the GREAT MOUNTAIN, as tigers approach and she fires off her last round of 9mm from her HI-POINT pistol …

She cries the name of her grease-ball husband and the parrot sentinels murmur and whisper: “CANTLOSS”

There is chanting and partying, and all kinds of celebrations …

And the last PUCK is erected as EMPRESS of DUBLIN …

Cheerio to that world.

And if you REGISTER NOW to see this ONCE IN A LIFETIME FILM EVENT, you will get a chance to WIN:

  1. One dicey bitcoin.
  2. One really fucking tiny house, located near the cooling ponds of a boiling water nuclear power plant.
  3. A tinier hooker named “Leslie” …
  4. Juice Nugget Pasta Steaks (lifetime supply, you’ll live another 5 years)
  5. An AM radio with flashlight …
  6. FACES of DEATH, all volumes, on VHS …
  7. 76 gallons of monkey urine

All of this can be, if you see my movie.

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SOVIETOLOGY: if this is true, do you know what it means?

Going into an EASING CYCLE, this represents the CRUX of Powell’s dilemma:

  1. RAISE RATES TOO MUCH: the BEAR eats him and the US economy crashes.
  2. LOWER RATES TOO MUCH: the TIGER eats him and the US economy crashes.
  3. BEGIN QUANTITATIVE EASING AGAIN: the tiger eats him and the US economy crashes.
  4. CONTINUED US GOVERNMENT KEYNESIAN BINGE: the tiger eats him and the US economy crashes.
  5. HUGE TRUMP TARIFFS: TIGER gets HOT for TEACHER, eats Powell, then Trump.

This is the HOTEL CALIFORNIA for that FED-BUCK FUCK.

(sorry Powell)

And perhaps that’s the crucial issue: what moves are left for Powell or the US treasury or US government, other than hoping the US GDP triples in the next few years … how will that happen?

  • AI
  • Crypto
  • Quantum Computers
  • Fusion Energy
  • Fission Energy Renaissance
  • Space Travel
  • Biotech
  • Cheap temperature tolerant synthetic super-conduction
  • Massive discovery of OIL off the coast of Uranus …
  • Radically lowering trade barriers and internal regulations on trade
  • Allowing the free market of money, all things people want to consider money: and this gives the FED time to EASE out of that business
  • Get rid of the IRS
  • END all the wars, bring the troops home
  • Other stuff?

You really need to believe in pixie dust bullshit at this point if you think EASING ends any other way but RAPID hyper-inflation … or nova-flation … blast out … explosion.

As I’ve said: your 401K might keep growing longer than there’s food at the grocery store.

Or maybe it will be WW3: but brother, we’re not there yet … it will take a BIG EVENT to galvanize the poors and get them riled up to kill some folks (poors) in another country.

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SQUIRREL ATE MY BABY!

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20241230_SQUIRREL_ATE_MY_BABY.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

Zero Hedge Headline Information as of 4:06 AM 12/30/24 PST:

The bond markets are revolting CUZ 179 are dead from living in optimistic countries. Trump’s inauguration rejects calls to end chronic inflammation. Crypto losers spark anger as new African pendulum swings towards reality and CHINESE MAN doubles down on expanding counter-measures against stiff spirits and MEXICAN housing problems. Minorities and elderly remain fragile, Jolani says it will take 4-year-old’s blood to say that Yellen is forcing the Treasury to shove dildos up her butt.

When Animals Attack:

SQUIRRELS (file under ‘Nature is Metal’): https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/squirrels-are-displaying-widespread-carnivorous-behavior-for-the-first-time-in-a-california-park-new-study-finds-180985707/

From 2021: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/08/squirrel-attacks-nyc-neighborhood-fear

Link: https://boingboing.net/2024/03/26/why-do-kangaroos-sometimes-attempt-to-harm-or-drown-dogs.html

Link: https://www.vice.com/en/article/kangaroos-eating-one-another-to-survive-australian-drought/

Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Azaria_Chamberlain

Worst ever: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=16552

GREAT NEWS:

MOAR BLUMP MIRACLES: