Category: Planetary Status Reports

Posted on

Could have been a garden …

“The world was NEVER going to be paradise, but it could have been a garden. Because we pursued ‘paradise’, we turned it into a landfill.” – Dr. Freckles

“Where it can’t be a garden, let nature be.” – Dr. Freckles

Posted on

It’s GONE …

  1. laptop with my first chapter of Big Foot War 1 … sucks
  2. my backup drive was eaten by the WINDOWS OS on my work computer, fuck …
  3. my blogs from GO DADDY, finally destroyed by them, indirectly, their shitty GO DADDY ENERGY …
  4. my woman left me for a BORG-KNIGHT, a lost one hooked on PCP … and you know me, I didn’t care … she gave me crabs.
  5. Boomer has probably forgotten me, I dunno … Boomer is cool.
  6. I was at the laundry and they had an AUTOWASH CAR WAS in addition to machines for cleaning your clothes … I thought that in BOBLIMPTOCK, these car washes could be converted into horrific torture chambers … and then I ponder snail meat pizza.
Posted on

The MOON must be DESTROYED!

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20231016_The_Moon_Must_Be_Destroyed.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

Outline:

  1. If I were President … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9692
  2. Colon Screening: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9690
  3. IDGAF: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9688
  4. If I were okay: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9686
  5. Social Media: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9683
  6. YURGEN TIME (destroy the Moon): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9659
  7. Next big thing: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9665
  8. Dancing nurses and Paragliders and the Ghost of Kiev: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9663
  9. Slow Burn: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9661
  10. A reason to wake up: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9657
  11. Thug Armies in the National Forest: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9655
  12. Everyone is lying: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9653
  13. SKEZ: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=9648
Posted on

If I were President …

If I were President, I’d have NASA come up with a plan to destroy the Moon … and then Mars.

If I were President, I’d sell waffles at the White House, and make 40 bucks a plate.

If I were President, I’d eat pastry bread and cover it in cheese and pickle brine … and then add the sardines.

If I were President, I’d build shrunket-tanks and arm all sides with them … these tanks would be made of old steel and dead elk and smell of stripper snatches, cigarettes and stale beer …

And you’ll buy them, armed with vulcan canon that fire 12 gauge mixed rounds.

If I was President of the USA?

I’d sponsor a national stripper day …

We’d have strippers, up and DOWN WA DC …

Covered in hooker grease and spizz oil, with their boovulas torgating …

(and then I’d realize)

“This is like any other day …”