September 2026 - PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

The Alternator:

HONDA HONDA HONDA

It was one of those days
life is aghast days
our truck was moving
grooving towards the stars
but the cars slowed
and dials showed
that the electricity
spectacular and fit
on the fritz

HONDA HONDA HONDA

alas
no more gas for the road
slowed
towed
glowing light
tonight
the alternator
it fails
to fight

FIX THAT HONDA BUDDY
cussed and creamed
You were my power train hustler
I was your blame wagon
I kept the plane flying
you were lying 
with the DANE

HONDA HONDA HONDA

I was stuck inside the wave
you turned me into a slave
I battled what I CRAVE
you sent me to the grave
but the FIX is in
it's fine
another dine and dash
from the ash
with cash
and the lash
we will fix that HONDA

OH HONDA POWERTRAIN

SIX HUNDRED BUCKS
no fucks given
we're livin' the true breed
spreading our seed
taking heed
of werewolves and witches
banshees and bears
wolves and wonders
all the thunder
buried in the glass

BLESS THE ALL WHEEL DRIVE

the MEISTER
the warrior
the wizard of wheels
handed my brethren his papered state
we said "great"
we went home LATE
we didn't have a date
so YES
it's best
and lonely before death
but the wheels still turn

HONDA HONDA HONDA

the machine lives on

I met a monkey general 
at SAXBYS in Gerlington, VA.

He was eating the DELUXE PLATE 
of SAUSAGE NUTS 
and IRREDEEMABLE bleeding.

His eyes caught mine 
and I was done 
feeding this burgle butt sandwich 
to the vacuum artists 
and turtle vendors.

We gave CHASE 
to the MASONIC HOGS 
and won the battle.

And he left for France.

And I was condemned 
to wander these forgotten lands
in search of peach mutton
and fried dandruff soup.

And I stand for harpies 
and venison and fear.

And I serve the GUMPTON KING, 
in an age of meringue disgust. 

If you are onyx stone
standing all alone
I ask are you DARK MATTER?
you glance
there's your chance
to punch a white guy
in the eye
goodbye ...

goodbye HONDA

I want to drive around
in the HONDA all over town
and shout at the women going by
"hey bitch, I just made you pregnant"
but the truck must work
or some jerk
will pull me to the ground
with the thud
that's the sound
of my heading splitting open
and there's no more cope and
I should have said nothing
nothing
but

HONDA HONDA HONDA