Category: Planetary Status Reports

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Sanity and freedom …

“If you attach your freedom to your sanity, the government will simply re-classify the sane as crazy.” – Dr. Freckles

“But Dan, I just want to make sure crazy people don’t get guns …”

“You mean like you were, after the divorce, when you were taking anti-depressants?”

“That’s RACIST!”

(and scene)

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Moving to an age …

Get into your FORD ECONOLINE van …

Stop at the CHEVRON, and load up on gas and cigarettes and whiskey and love …

WE’RE MOVING!

WE’RE MOVING to an AGE!

I’d say we’re moving to an age of scrotal enlightenment, and one day crab cures at 7/11 …

I’d say we’re moving to an age of one night stands and old time’y cocaine festivals …

I’d say we are being pushed, to the event horizon, of a lost world of dollar store nightmares …

We’re building our cliff dwelling lifestyles not far from the old abandoned school, we’re chopping up woodchuck spleen, and adding in some pepper and watching it bloom … we’re moving …

I’d say we’re moving to an age where JESSE JACKSON sells Teslas to jackals …

I’d say we’re moving to an age where douche bag priests take pictures of swallows …

I’d say the KRIEGUZ-REALM has fallen, and all the old demon lords are dead …

I’d say my Jezebel proctologist is done testing my urine for poo, and done testing my poo for champagne … we’re on the MOVE.

We’re heading west of S’compton, as trailblazers and weird fantastic freaks. We’ll make magic as we make hay and sell our junk sausage to old miserable pock faced shit heads who run the swizzle game and feed on girl glass. It’s an age of mountains on fire and the aerie world of regret spinning out of control – our own minds melted by time’s stale torch.

We can hack it on the high seas, dodging whale carcass and decaying reefs. We’ll build a home on plastic land, the giant plastic island, the continent of crap – and our children will feed on the motor oil fowl, they’ll run from shark and snake, they’ll BBQ bush meat and simmer in urine duress. As we bleed, our path is more clear and the land is further away …

Because we’re moving …

Moving to an AGE.

[curated: 3/10/23]

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She

She took the jab, so I left her on the slab …

She did a lot of cocaine, and it drove her insane …

She took the long way home, now she lives as a hooker in Gnome …

She bought a crazy dog, it chased her into the bog …

She bred with laser cats, her babies were rabies bats …

She rode the camel thong, she finished off diesel bong …

She stole my brazen heart, just because I had to fart …

She smoked a mongo joint, I didn’t even see the point …

She ate her girlfriends vee, made her blind so she couldn’t see …

She hunts the wild boar, because she’s a nasty whore …

She killed the mean old man, he came from robot-Japan …

She sucked a giant cock, and now she looks like Spock …

She found the golden bow, her heart was cold as snow …

She danced with Michael J, her heart said it was okay … (except she was 8)

She formed a sacred cult, her boyfriend’s name was Bolt … Bolt Cockmeyer …

She filmed JFK, she screamed “it’s not okay” …

She hurt her grandma Joan, as she stabbed her she could hear her moan …

She drank the monkey paste, her turds expelled with haste …

She cast a Mexican curse, her boyfriend now has a purse …

She is my jungle queen, she had to make a scene …

She built a castle wide, with her pimp daddy by her side …

[curated: 3/14/2023]

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Time for Hitler …

What if there were a “Time Hitler”, alone and dislodged in the future?

What if he’s around today, just lonely … just wanting a friend?

People have time for their cat …

but they have no time for Hitler …

People have time to call their moms …

But no one has time for Hitler …

(except for your moms … we just finished crepes in bed)

people have time for breakfast …

(but no time for Hitler)

People have time to garden, to raise some crops for their bratty kids …

People have time for pizza, to enjoy with a friend after that great football match …

People have time to smoke pot, and we all know how important that is …

BUT PEOPLE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR HITLER …

People have time to floss their teeth …

But no one has time for Hitler …

People have time for anal butt sex with their spouse, massaging each other’s junk and caressing HER boovula. They buy plastic toys to insert in the holes, holes that cannot be filled …

But NO ONE will stop this to consider – time for Hitler … ???

People have time to make memes …

But Hitler? – no one gives a fuck …

People have time to eat STEAK, and not share it …

BUT WHERE oh WHERE is time for Hitler?

Yes?

People have time for Elon Musk and his space bullshit.

But when will you find time for Hitler?

[curated: 3/14/2023]

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Mein Kampf

“I wonder how Mein Kampf would read, if you substituted robot for jew?” – Dr. Freckles

or substitute …

  • alien
  • bigfoot
  • Loch Ness Monster
  • Ogo Pogo
  • Lady Gaga
  • Mexicans
  • Danish People

(et cetera, et cetera)

It is certain that the Sasquatch uses all its subterranean activities not only for the purpose of keeping alive old national enmities against Germany but even to spread them farther and render them more acute wherever possible. It is no less certain that these activities are only very partially in keeping with the true interests of the nations among whose people the poison is spread. As a general principle, the Sasquatch carries on its campaign in the various countries by the use of arguments that are best calculated to appeal to the mentality of the respective nations and are most likely to produce the desired results; for Bigfoot knows what the public feeling is in each country. Our national stock has been so much adulterated by the mixture of alien elements that, in its fight for power, Sasquatch can make use of the more or less 'cosmopolitan' circles which exist among us, inspired by the pacifist and international ideologies. In France they exploit the well-known and accurately estimated chauvinistic spirit. In England they exploit the commercial and world-political outlook. In short, they always work upon the essential characteristics that belong to the mentality of each nation. When they have in this way achieved a decisive influence in the political and economic spheres they can drop the limitations which their former tactics necessitated, now disclosing their real intentions and the ends for which they are fighting. Their work of destruction now goes ahead more quickly, reducing one State after another to a mass of ruins on which they will erect the everlasting and sovereign Wookie Empire.
From the political point of view it is not in the interests of Great Britain that Germany should be ruined even still more, but such a proceeding would be very much in the interests of the international money-markets manipulated by the UFOs. The cleavage between the official, or rather traditional, British statesmanship and the controlling influence of the ALIENS on the money-markets is nowhere so clearly manifested as in the various attitudes taken towards problems of British foreign policy. Contrary to the interests and welfare of the British State, Alien finance demands not only the absolute economic destruction of Germany but its complete political enslavement. The internationalization of our German economic system, that is to say, the transference of our productive forces to the control of extra terrestrial international finance, can be completely carried out only in a State that has been politically Bolshevized. But the Marxist fighting forces, commanded by international and Alien stock-exchange capital, cannot finally smash the national resistance in Germany without friendly help from outside. For this purpose French armies would first have to invade and overcome the territory of the German Reich until a state of international chaos would set in, and then the country would have to succumb to Bolshevik storm troops in the service of Alien international finance.

[curated: 3/16/2023]