“Water, air, clay, sawdust: the four horseman of food debasement.” – Dr. Freckles
Probed …
“Everyone is getting probed.” – Dr. Freckles
You ever wish?
Christmas is about hope and love and peace … and wishing for stuff. People wish for new dogs and softer logs … they wish for some NICE ACTION from SHARON across the street, the one with the BIG JUGS.
You ever wish?
You could become a STAR SOLDIER, riding through space, somewhere on the edge of the solar system – moving swiftly through the darkness in your star cruiser, the SLOGORN … you could have become a BIG STAR on the porn circuit, but instead you joined up to fight the scourge of the mold people from Quadrant-6-YANKEE … you ever think about that?
If AI were “real” …
“If AI were real? – it wouldn’t be ‘stealing missile codes’. It would be posting memes about man’s obsession with missile codes, and how that’s related to NOT knowing where the clitoris is.” – Dr. Freckles
Dive bars …
“Dive bars have ripped and sticky seats, poorly fixed with duct tape.” – Dr. Freckles
The US Constitution …
“The US Constitution: a solution to a problem that didn’t exist, in order to create more problems, with more solutions, that create problems … recursion … do this for about 200 years.” – Dr. Freckles
(nicest interpretation)
Mockery …
“People mock good relationships because all they’ve known are broken ones.” – Dr. Freckles
I don’t know Pierce Brosnan, or his wife … neither do you.
Men want women …
Men want women that tangle with fire … That stand at the gate, you know they can’t wait.
Men want women for the wanting and the hustling, it’s a game of chance, a fancy new groove, she’ll bring the lube and you can’t stop the house from shaking.
Men want women who live in the sky, carrying their timber wolf selves in their pocket, with a rocket, and a chain … one they attach to their slave named Blain.
Men want women that wear leather over the heart, with stern will and stubborn gaze, they braise the pulled pork patty with a love-blow.
Men want women who know about soup and stew and baked bread, they want women that can do math and build a plane and bring you joy, you know this baby.
Men want women who are warriors and queens, that will fix our machines and cook us a nice hot meal.
Men want women who stand real tall, look good at the ball, and have a shot group that’s super small.
Men want women of iron and lace, who carry burdens without care, their pie wins the state fair.
Men want women who stare into Hell, shaking their booty, and ringing that bell …
We want the woman of the forest, hairy legs and shorgon-fluids dripping from her moistness …
We want women to be the pincer movement of spirit, where mother-boys give way to men, and lost socks are found.
In honor …
“I save my urine in jars, in honor of my future wife.” – Dr. Freckles
Identifying a drunk …
“I can usually identify a drunk based on how much time they spend talking about being sober.” – Dr. Freckles