
Comedy
“Comedy allows us to peer into the abyss of tragedy, and then laugh it off.” – Dr. Freckles
EXPLODE, don’t live!
“We were not meant to live because pussies ‘live’. We were meant to endure a few brief brutal years, and then explode in a lightning burst of glory.” – Dr. Freckles
PROPHETIC TANGLE: X-RAY PENIS MIND
- The beaches are littered with dead octopus and wet pussy.
- The cat army of Mr Fantastic (a Tabby) is moving on Fort Hooks, named after a German Shepherd named “Hooks”. “Skittles” will lead the first assault, followed up by “Scrambles” the Siamese.
- Your wet mind star fire ring is DRY and FORGOTTEN. Bone cave echoes of someone you knew, long ago, at the Catholic School where the nuns bare-bottom spanked you and you could see their nipples getting hard.
- The MASTERS of INFINITY control TEXAS TOAST style diners and the meth heads of Dallas. Crossing the border, screw worms are screwing with your aunt’s head and the ax thrower Brian White is heading over, to just talk … “I just want to talk”.
- MODERN CARVING is TAKING A BREAK from turkey time snake bakes and Mr. Charlie style Wyoming Biscuit Miner position. I have your smart phone, you left it in my bathroom after those 4 guys got done fucking you. I shoved your phone up my butt.
- It’s weird how they redefine “permafrost” as “frozen for at least 2 years”, but this is also a huge grifter/business opportunity, you can now sell: “vegetables from the permafrost”, “cheeseburgers from the permafrost”, “ice cream from the permafrost” …. as long as it has been in your freezer for at least TWO FUCKING YEARS … that deer you killed? – you can now call it prehistoric venison … fuck them.
PLASTIC SPOON HEADS

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20250525_PLASTIC_SPOON_HEADS.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
PLASTIC SPOON HEADS:
They say we have a plastic spoon’s worth of micro-plastics in our brains, individually …
I forget who said it … what were we talking about?
I may do my first live performance, because why the fuck not?
The name of my “ACT” (as if it’s an act): “PLASTIC SPOON HEADS”
If it is not original, IDGAF.
No one owns those three words.
If I must call myself TRASH BRAIN, I’ll go there … to get cocaine.
BEES: https://www.ehn.org/microplastics-impair-bees-memory-and-threaten-global-pollination
WALMART is OPEN: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=21033
Nothing more to know (I think):
remember what I was talking about?
Who the fuck is Liam Neeson?
Why did he fuck my mom?
Why did your MOM give me aids?
What is aids?
Can you cure crabs with diabetes?
Can you cure diabetes with candy bars?
Are you on FIRE for your passionate love nest?
Do you have a “secret grandpa”? – I have one.
Infallibility much?
“What if we are God’s mistakes?” – Dr. Freckles
Walmart open, Jesus need not apply …
“If the WALMART is OPEN but Church is CLOSED, then something is terribly wrong.” – Dr. Freckles
STARING into NOTHING …
So worried about ZIO-DOXXING
- lots of USAF troll farm trolls on social media will threaten you with “doxxing”, especially if you are opposed to the State of Israel.
- Most, if not all, of these threats are bullshit.
- But I’m like, “don’t threaten me with a good time”.
- Anna Merlan’s hit piece against Jarrod Fidden in 2024 INCREASED his presence, it was a favor, almost as if he paid her to do it …
- So yeah, DOX the FUCK out of me … so worried.
NANCY MACE: BUTT CAKE

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20250521_NANCY_MACE_BUTT_CAKE.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
Trigger Alert: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=21010
Christians: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=21004
United Health: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=21001
Golem Dome: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=20997
MAGA BOOBS: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=20991
NANCY MACE BOOB PICS: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=20981

