I made myself a sandwich out of eggplant and shame. I piled on cooter cheese and dog hair and dried stripper blood and old ground up peanut grease left over from last Easter. We put this shit in the oven at 400 degrees for 12 hours, until the material is a black puck and ready for power insertion.
I invite others over for dinner …
I usually add a RAMEN CASSEROLE. You smash up 6 ramen packets and mix in the beef flavor and a few eggs and spider legs. You add lima beans and durable battery acid substitutes from VIETNAM. If there are discarded fish from the wharf that even the seagulls and crows ignore? – then toss that harness-boog into the batch and watch it hatch parasite mystery flavor.
Within 72 hours, very few guests complain.
After such a hearty meal I head to the landfill for magnet fishing. I go with a magnet rod system and a geiger counter and a hooker from Australia named “Jade”. You’d be amazed by the kinds of SHITE we’d pull out of that swamp. Musker-birds, hunting the orphans from the zoo, would howl and cry as the night went by.
Sometimes we’d find old discarded radiological material from the cancer hospitals. Dark metal containers filled with radium and curium and einsteinium and other kinds of late night fun. We’d called in THREATS to the local ROCK’N’ROLL station, demanding nonstop Styx for 77 days, but now we’d have the dirty bombs to make it real … what a deal for just some work at the landfill.