If you follow me, all 6/7 of you, then you know I think a major catastrophe is upon us and the worst of it will begin this summer. You can think of it in banal terms as “global permafrost collapse”, but in reality that boring description hides a potential extinction level event. Best case scenario: we are heading towards Hot House Earth and large swaths of the planet will become uninhabitable very soon.
The PRC and its leadership have likely been aware of this for a long time, and IF the Covid/Vaccine campaigns were military psychological warfare then perhaps ONE of the purposes of this was to hide massive forced migration of Chinese citizens to climate safe zones in the deep south – S. America, New Zealand, Tasmania, Antarctica.
When I was a kid no one I knew in Western Washington needed air conditioning, ever. This may seem off topic, but as I was out walking today (in early May) I remarked at one of the more obvious cases of someone who had installed air conditioning and it seemed like it was on full power – Port Angeles, WA. This summer a lot of folks, especially in King and Pierce Counties, will be buying AC units, heat pumps, escape from the unrelenting heat.
Also, as a kid 5 decades ago, we were told we never had to worry about GREAT WHITE SHARKS in the Puget Sound, for three basic reasons: a) the orca pods would scare them away, b) the water is too cold and c) there’s plenty of food in the ocean for them or along the coasts. I’d say (a), (b), and (c), used to be true – none of those points are true now. The local orca pods are NOT doing great, the water is warming and FOOD in the wider ocean (see the story of the gray whales) is not the giant feast it used to be.
Add to this, the recent discovery of new sharks in the Puget Sound. Predators will avoid breaking boundary conditions of their habitats IF there is plenty of food. When the food runs low the predator has the choice of staying and dying OR going some place else. While cold water threatens great white sharks, WARM OR HOT water is just as bad for the great white – they like it warm, but not too warm. That’s the Puget Sound now, warm, not too warm, orca pods not doing so great, and plenty of food (for a creative predator).
This summer will be a barn burner, and the Western Washington beaches (like West Beach near Deception Pass) will be very popular.
I wonder if this will be the first summer a large shark attacks a swimmer or other human in the Puget Sound. Ghoulish? – yes. Exaggeration? – no.
I was at the grocery store, and something SPECIAL was on sale: slatfish.
Slatfish …
“$3.00 a pound … that’s a deal”, I thought.
On the LABEL it said that slatfish is “a tangy Tilapia type surge-horn yellow-stripe perch with arms and legs and vigor and glowing green eyes and a HERO’S APPETITE … SLATFISH are healthy white-style fish, intended for Tennessee hooker weddings and lazy country afternoons with Thelma Borecrotch of the church choir.”
It seemed an intriguing bite-dish. I could serve this to the people at my job I truly love.
Slatfish have parasites … like the verz-worm.
The verz-worm is a South American butt-herpes infestation that enters your body when someone IN YOUR FAMILY eats slatfish and then uses the common shower. These worms will fill your soul with heavy metal delight and if not taken care of will lead to NEW SETTLEMENTS along the SALTON SEA.
Lots of stories from Federal Way near Seattle of slatfish slunking out of Lake Washington and stealing and eating French bulldogs and pugs. More than a few avocado witches have raised complaints concerning this DISASTER. While most don’t care, one Seattle denizen claimed that “these wretched little dogs are Danish toys of thoughtlessness, they need to be fed to the six gill sharks.” Others have echoed this sentiment.
They say the slatfish are wandering and taking their time … they are in no hurry to reach a destination, not like the monkeys that toss their poop about.
The best way to cook slatfish is on a slat of cedar wood, hence the name. You carve the slatfish into Philly cheese steak dimensions, frying the fish in seed oils and discarded boob-gurglings. You add cilantro and tomato and celery and pepper, cucumber slices and cornbread pudding sklizz. Brush it off with carrot juice gloss and serve moldy and lukewarm to guests from Copenhagen.
Slatfish are cool mixtures of pain sorcery and nightingale pomp. Your MOM’S BOOVULA will INTINGOOLATE at the thought of frozen slatfish style butt plug recipes, for August, when it gets HOT.
Slatfish are high in OMEGA-15 butt crack compounds and other GET RICH QUICK nutrient salves. Your MUSK WOMAN will HURL her GIRL SPEW when she sees that body renewal from slatfish oils activated by SEAFLOW power energy spider egg crystals and micro-butt-plugs.
Slatfish is being sold at WHOLE FOODS and WALMART. It comes in cans that are colored red and green for easy identification. This is a kind and tender sandwich spread and you can use this instead of tuna or cave-slug.
When it comes to common MEAT substitutes, to include elbow-rat and long-pig, slatfish contain 124% more MICRO-VITAMINS and TRANS-FAT-NUTRITIONAL grease-oils. Your HEART will thank you for this bounty.
Monkey heart’d fringe-folk are making strawberry sliders using slatfish, adding it to their soups and salads and dryg-pudding recipes. Slatfish is taking the ROYAL SCENE by storm, as KINGS and QUEENS partake in this latest rake of roaming sea savagery and land omens.
Crisis in the foothills is making it harder to find the dreary beasts who move from pond to pond eating algae and stealing WiFi. Slatfish are semi-aware and looking for love connections with MILF type farmer wenches who sell their thigh-crispy sufferings to wandering hobo camps and football stars.
There’s no need to forget how many pup-women were sacrificed to OPEN THE WAY for keto bros and paleo junkies. Dirg-quadrant squid foragers reported seeing weird lights in the sky, and bats with machine guns ruling the NIGHT. All of this was the opening to our food future and slatfish FEAST.
Several hundred fishermen go missing each year, looking for slatfish, down at the wharf. Some of them carry jugs of merman-mead and jester-goop, others are seen falling asleep under pickup trucks with coke farmers. Danish pimps, with pursed lips and cursed words, move out into the countryside to find JOY SPIRIT in the fields and coves. Loaves of bread are offered to the TREE SPIRITS and green leaf mornings give way to endless brown and red desert fortunes.
Slatfish are chain-hunters. They hide in the closets and old cardboard boxes left by the roadside in small towns in Appalachia. They peak out of the hollers and valleys and torn up forests of Doobinsville and Grophley, Kentucky. Weary from battle, these cave-salamanders spend their Friday nights drinking moonshine and killing time playing cards with old bards.
The slatfish chase our monkey future and give nothing in return.
My heritage is monkey heritage, and my people are monkey people.
Monkeys were here before the slatfish and will remain as the clock winds down.
Monkeys have cool groove style and will TRAVEL MILES to have fried slatfish and gravy.
I was made by a monkey.
You were made by a monkey.
I am a monkey.
You are a monkey.
Monkeys will eat me, and they will make MORE monkeys.
SCRYB FREAKS! EATING COOB SPICE! SELLING BLACK RICE! You need to STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! We'll harvest you like a little RED COW! TYFYATTM ...
Modern whore sluts nutting about looking for snout selling their boovula for a little more time your slime is DONE! so over get over Clover stop your draino or go insane-oh TYFYATTM ...
ROAD CREWS spreading tar spreading ooze 10 men doing one man's job they ain't slobs they selling drugs not hugs to the chugs along the way it's okay bro it's okay keep being that MAGA YOU! So true ...
ALL TROGLON TYPE BERGER-ZEEDS NEED TO BE READY FOR THE FINAL ASSAULT. WE'VE TAKEN 4 ISLANDS EAST OF HAWAII AND NOW INTEND TO LAUNCH A FULL FRONTAL LUNGE AT WESTERN SUMERIA WITH AN EYE TO OVERTURNING THE ASSYRIAN EMPIRE AND THE LAST LORDS OF FROLIC.
TEGOS-REE, THE ADMIRAL OF THE CENTRAL SEA, IS TAKING OUT SUBMARINE NETWORKS IN TASMANIA AND SOUTHERN DETROIT. NORD-STYLE BURGER BUCKETS ARE HUSTLING BEAN-DROPPINGS TO THE DUSTER FREAKS IN SECTOR 44 AND REGION OCTOBER. A MISSILE LAUNCH WAS DETECTED AMONG THE WHORE KEEPERS AND THE STREET WALKERS ARE SELLING SPECIAL-K TO THE COPS AND FEDS FROM FRESNO.
YOU ARE NOT SAFE!
YOU ARE NOT SAFE IN YOUR HONEYDEW MELON PARADISE!
YOUR FOOD IS NOT SAFE, IT IS FILLED WITH JASMINE-MAGGOTS AND OTHER SLIME-TICKS.
YOUR MIND IS NOT SAFE, IT IS CONCERNED WITH BIRTHDAY PARTY MINUTIA AND FAVORITE SONG BLISS TIED TO A LATE SPRING SUNSET SPICE RACK.
WHEN THE TIME COMES, BE READY TO ABANDON YOUR HEADQUARTERS AND DELETE ALL MESSAGES FROM SHEILA ... SHE'S A BITCH AND SHE'S STALKING YOU ... SO STOP IT. STOP IT NOW. SHEILA CANNOT BE TRUSTED, HER EYES ARE GREEN AND SPECKLED AND HER HEART IS IRON AND CABBAGE.
FOR THE TIME BEING ...
ALL CONDOMS AND TOILET PAPER WILL BE REUSED AND RECYCLED.
WE WILL CONSERVE OUR PRECIOUS MOISTURE AND YIELD ONLY THE COMMON STOCK FOR THE SWILL-BREEDERS IN THE CAVES OF HOUSTON. PARTY FAVOR JUGGLERS AND CLEVELAND WIZARDS SELL THEIR MAN-GOO TO THE RAIDERS IN SECTOR-2. NEVER BEFORE HAVE SO MANY GUZZLERS OF HERG-PASTE BEEN BROUGHT TOGETHER FOR A VICTORY WITHOUT PRECEDENT OR PAST.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE STRONG BODIES ...
MINDS CLEAR OF INFECTION OR FATE.
YOUR MIND-BODY PROBLEM IS ONE OF REGRET AND TRAUMA-FORECLOSURE.
YOUR MIND-SELF IS DISTORTED AND THE RADAR SYSTEMS IN CENTRAL KRASNOVIA ARE NO LONGER OPERABLE BECAUSE RED-DRAGON MISSILE RIDERS HAVE LOST ALL HOPE AND THE NYMPHO MISTRESS IS LONGING FOR STD RIDDEN JEDI LIVING ALONE IN THE DESERTS OF MEMORY.
THIS WAR MESSAGE IS FOR THE FALLEN.
THOSE GHOSTS THAT WRESTLE WITH CAUSALITY AND MAKE WAY FOR SMALLER LEGIONS OF TINY SOLDIERS MADE OF PUDDING.
INDIAN CALL CENTERS ARE STANDING BY TO HELP YOU WITH MEDICARE PARTS A AND B, AND NEW LIFE EXTENSION FINAL PLAN DEALS WHERE YOUR BODY PARTS CAN BE MARINATED IN DEAD MONKEY SAUCE AND THEN TOSSED INTO THE GANGES WHERE PRIESTS AND NUNS WILL POOP OUT THEIR VIGOR AND LEAVE YOUR NON-SELF IDENTITY TRAPPED IN A SMOG JAIL.
YOUR MOMS ARE WITH ME ... ALL OF THEM.
YOUR MOMS ARE MY HOOKER DREAM MAKERS.
THEY CARRY BATS AND CHAIN AND ROGAINE DART GUNS.
THEY ARE POWERED BY THE INFERNAL CAGE-RAGE OF NIGHTMARE PROPORTIONS.
DRIED AND EMPTY, YOUR MOMS WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THEIR HOOKER KING ... WHICH IS ME.
DENMARK IS SO OVER, IT'S BASIC ...
DENMARK IS BASIC.
DANISH FOOD IS BASIC.
DANISH DIALECT IS SLOW AND SMELLY AND BASIC.
YOU CAN SMELL THE REEF TORRENT COMING FROM A DANE'S MOUTH, IT IS BILE VENGEANCE AND SHIT THROAT CATACLYSM.
HERRING STORES ARE DROPPING AND THE COPENHAGEN SKETCH MARKET IS HOPPING WITH NOODLE CHALLENGES AND OLD FART FERRET RUSTLERS.
IT WILL ALL BE OVER WHEN DENMARK SINKS.
SEA-FLOW STYLE FROZEN BUTT PLUGS MAKE ALL OF THIS POSSIBLE. THIS SUMMER, FROZEN BUTT PLUGS WILL BE HUGE AMONG THE BOOMERS AND ZOOMERS, SITTING AT HOME, DRAGGING THEIR ASS MERCHANTS TO WALMART FOR THE FOOD SALE.
HOT TOPIC PROPHECY SPELLS DOOM FOR THE LAST OF THOSE OLD HAGS, AND THE CRONES ARE CAUGHT MALL WALKING WITH HORSEMEN AND ARCHERS.
BUILD A WALL AROUND YOUR HEART AND A MOAT AND FILL THE MOAT WITH SHARKS AND LAMPREY.
MAKE A HOME FOR THE SOUL PAIN, THIS IS BATTLE AND THE RATTLE OF BARS WILL HIGHLIGHT THE CRYSTAL SPILLWAY AND LEAVE YOU BARREN BEFORE BETSY THE BRA SALESMAN.
YOUR TENDER HEART WILL SPLIT WIDE OPEN WHEN YOU SEE THE BUSTED MASSES FLEEING THIS TENSE STANDOFF. HUNGRY HORDES ARE HOARDING WHORE JELLO AND THE LAST OF THE RESUPPLICANT PIMP CREW ARE CREATED ANEW BEFORE THE DYING SUNLIGHT. SMOKE RISES FROM THE BATTLE AS THE FIRES OF TORMENT BURN BLUE.
SPIDER EGG JELLY IS THE KEY TO VICTORY!
OUR MORGUE LEADERS ARE KILLING IT WITH SEAFLOW STYLE SPIDER EGG JELLY SOUP RECIPES AND TENDER VITTLE STYLE MEAT RESIDUE.
TIME TO ACCEPT THE END AS THE BEGINNING AND THE SEAFLOW LOVE SONG CARRIES THE DAY, AS THE BONG IS PASSED AND THE HOURS DECAY.
