SEA-FLOW Archives - Page 6 of 8 - PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

If they ask WHY I DID IT?

… tell’em it was a SNICKERS BAR …

Fun fact about me: I’ve BEEN to PENNSYLVANIA … (it ain’t no picnic …)

I was working on my spider egg farm when a couple ladies, dressed in gray flannel, came up to my camper to talk about SEA-FLOW.

“We were wondering if WE could benefit from spider egg nutrients?”, the blonde said, as she massaged her boovula through her classy skirt. She had a case, what looked like a rifle case, and inside was a PLOTON GUN that fired WHALE JIZZ at 34% the speed of 12 million flamingoes … this was getting interesting.

“We will let you rub squirrel oil on our breasts as we ungunjoolate our boovulas, with only underwear on, and you can do a bunch of cocaine … BUT … you need to do this thing …”

And we talked about the THING: schedules and linkups and meetings and midnight phone calls over pay phones … burners and churners … it was LIT. We put on Golden Earring’s Twilight Zone, and that’s when the brunette with the really BIG JUGS unleased them and the coke they had … and then it got crazy …

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20240702_We_hired_someone.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

We hired someone:

We’re getting SEA-FLOW up and running, so we’re hiring spider-herders and grease farmers and tube masters and gizz-specialists …

All kinds of new people at work.

We hired a 72 year old at work.

Yes, she’s hotter than my HORBLIX-GWERMER.

But she’s not my best pipe fitter. She doesn’t make skleeve pudding. She hasn’t seen me eat debly-tiger, and decided she loves my grease pipe anyway.

So, I’ll pass. Thanks.

There’s this new front desk girl named DERBY BENZ …

She has a garden with hens and talks about OLD TIME McNuggets. Her moms go to church at the 56th Eagle Chapel, where Doc Nord talks of Hell cannon and Moroccan Piss dreams … When the KEZ-MEN get done at lunch, and the heavous-salsa weighs heavy? – You can see them sizing things up, and imagining “late night copy center mix ups” … or something sleazy in the breakroom.

But not for me, I’m focused on SEA-FLOW …

We have a new delivery boy, he calls himself Thomas Bard.

His eyes are yellow and his hands shake, his mind is a graveyard of turbulence and horror. When you talk to him, he looks at you, stares inside your brain-case … and then just walks away, to move box mania further towards the END.

He ain’t no friend, not with cast iron smiles. He stinks of jerky and vodka and lost dimple franchise strippers.

But he’s not making gravy for Charlene no more.

Onion: keep pealing that onion, keep going down the hole …

MEME WAR 3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12511

Where it’s going: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12503

Wind Directions: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12498

Eating People: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12380

HIV Drug Commercials: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12426

Madness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12383

Coarseness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12390

What is Grinken Time?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12495

Danica and the Reptiles: https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/06/26/danica-patrick-apparently-believes-justin-bieber-adele-are-lizard-people-discusses-how-to-spot-reptilians-on-her-podcast/

Protection racket for freedom: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12429

Dreams and Nightmares: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12370

Hackers: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12397

LOVE and TECH: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12434

Why the rush?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12401

Sheep dipping: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12472

Millionth Council: “Every living thing on this planet has an aura. The area that you are discussing now is the aura of this planet. It is a communicative channel through which the Millionth Council governs this planet. Anyone going into this area when the communication channel is open do not disappear, but they are in the timeless void. They are all alive and well. It is the only area through which the council can communicate with this planet.”