Category: SEA-FLOW

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THE CONFESSION of DAN SULLIVAN …

If they ask WHY I DID IT?

… tell’em it was a SNICKERS BAR …

Fun fact about me: I’ve BEEN to PENNSYLVANIA … (it ain’t no picnic …)

I was working on my spider egg farm when a couple ladies, dressed in gray flannel, came up to my camper to talk about SEA-FLOW.

“We were wondering if WE could benefit from spider egg nutrients?”, the blonde said, as she massaged her boovula through her classy skirt. She had a case, what looked like a rifle case, and inside was a PLOTON GUN that fired WHALE JIZZ at 34% the speed of 12 million flamingoes … this was getting interesting.

“We will let you rub squirrel oil on our breasts as we ungunjoolate our boovulas, with only underwear on, and you can do a bunch of cocaine … BUT … you need to do this thing …”

And we talked about the THING: schedules and linkups and meetings and midnight phone calls over pay phones … burners and churners … it was LIT. We put on Golden Earring’s Twilight Zone, and that’s when the brunette with the really BIG JUGS unleased them and the coke they had … and then it got crazy …

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We hired someone …

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20240702_We_hired_someone.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

We hired someone:

We’re getting SEA-FLOW up and running, so we’re hiring spider-herders and grease farmers and tube masters and gizz-specialists …

All kinds of new people at work.

We hired a 72 year old at work.

Yes, she’s hotter than my HORBLIX-GWERMER.

But she’s not my best pipe fitter. She doesn’t make skleeve pudding. She hasn’t seen me eat debly-tiger, and decided she loves my grease pipe anyway.

So, I’ll pass. Thanks.

There’s this new front desk girl named DERBY BENZ …

She has a garden with hens and talks about OLD TIME McNuggets. Her moms go to church at the 56th Eagle Chapel, where Doc Nord talks of Hell cannon and Moroccan Piss dreams … When the KEZ-MEN get done at lunch, and the heavous-salsa weighs heavy? – You can see them sizing things up, and imagining “late night copy center mix ups” … or something sleazy in the breakroom.

But not for me, I’m focused on SEA-FLOW …

We have a new delivery boy, he calls himself Thomas Bard.

His eyes are yellow and his hands shake, his mind is a graveyard of turbulence and horror. When you talk to him, he looks at you, stares inside your brain-case … and then just walks away, to move box mania further towards the END.

He ain’t no friend, not with cast iron smiles. He stinks of jerky and vodka and lost dimple franchise strippers.

But he’s not making gravy for Charlene no more.

Onion: keep pealing that onion, keep going down the hole …

MEME WAR 3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12511

Where it’s going: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12503

Wind Directions: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12498

Eating People: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12380

HIV Drug Commercials: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12426

Madness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12383

Coarseness: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12390

What is Grinken Time?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12495

Danica and the Reptiles: https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/06/26/danica-patrick-apparently-believes-justin-bieber-adele-are-lizard-people-discusses-how-to-spot-reptilians-on-her-podcast/

Protection racket for freedom: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12429

Dreams and Nightmares: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12370

Hackers: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12397

LOVE and TECH: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12434

Why the rush?: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12401

Sheep dipping: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12472

Millionth Council: “Every living thing on this planet has an aura. The area that you are discussing now is the aura of this planet. It is a communicative channel through which the Millionth Council governs this planet. Anyone going into this area when the communication channel is open do not disappear, but they are in the timeless void. They are all alive and well. It is the only area through which the council can communicate with this planet.”

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FIRE: Financially Independent Retire Early

FIRE:

Do you dream of HELI-SKIING your way down some EURO-TRASH mountain scape, not far from St. Durgley’s, where you met your hooker wife?

Do you hope you can afford to send your kids to that SCHOOL one day where they’ll teach those little fuckers how to hate you? Hate everything about you?

Are you looking at those really cool YACHT websites? The ones that talk about 60+ foot long ocean going all aluminum boats that can power their way to sunsets and fun and adventure? Maybe you’ll find a new lover on those 7 seas, to replace your spiv-wife at home. Maybe you’ll write that maritime novel you’ve been dreaming of, about submarines hunting for Conan’s lost gold … sell it to Marvel probably …

There are a LOT of EZ-MONEY programs that promise HUGE returns, but how many pay off? – virtually ZERO. Our program from SEA-FLOW allows you to define retirement in easy to achieve LIFE-BUCKETS:

LIFE-BUCKET 0: Do you know where your wife is?

LIFE-BUCKET 1: Do you think she’s having sex with Barry?

LIFE-BUCKET 2: How many times does she have to go to spin class?

LIFE-BUCKET 3: Maybe I’ll surprise them at that spa in Van Couver?

LIFE-BUCKET 4: I think WALMART still sells guns …

You see how this works?

Of course, most think the NEW AMERICAN DREAM is dying in your sleep – literally, figuratively, writ large, think about it. But at SEA-FLOW we don’t stop because Taco Time is selling “pork especial” now, and nobody asks what’s so fucking special … and nobody says nothing about the fingernail they found, the one with nail polish still on it. It’s the new American Dream, and that’s ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW …

I knew this guy, CHAD.

Chad wanted to start an old-style Panda Express, like the old ones, back in the 1970’s, when chain restaurants could still be kinda racist …

He knew it would take cash to find and raise and harvest panda – what the HELL did Chad know about panda? – but Chad was disciplined, and put his money into a SEA-FLOW FAST RETIREMENT ACCOUNT …

Now CHAD is selling general Tso’s panda to the rubes in Splunkton, and he’s just another glowing example of what’s possible using our program.

OUR SEA-FLOW FAST RETIREMENT ACCOUNT is powered by BITCOIN.

We have 5 level-VPN-LASER locked server farms in Hong Kong cranking out coinages day and NIGHT. Our accounts contain investments in South African REITs and Argentinian Century Bonds. We’ve diversified into MOON BONDS, 10,000 YEAR GALAXY BONDS and various start-ups like QUANTUM DATING.

We have an ethereum contract structure using stardard DSC-448 type code flanks. Our gindous-ruul markers set the flame tolerance for outer and inner sales and misfortune.

Our underground VAMPIRE TONTINE AGREEMENTS allow our CLUB … cuz it is a nice club, and YOU’LL BE A MEMBER ….

Our vampire tontines will allow you and your wife and your 53 kids to visit one of our POWER CLUBS, where you’ll get to drink baby blood and have sex with warb-freaks and rub SKUUL OIL on your flesh rod.

You won’t believe your eyes when your WIFE comes home with Edgar the Frenchie trainer, and you can tell they’ve been playing “Old Miss Splimsly” under the bridge, cuz you can smell boovula sauce on HIS breath … well … at least you’re retired early.

Your kids will THANK YOU, as they get addicted to TRANQ at the Fentanyl Skate Park, and your eyes catch the glimmer of a metal bat as your face gets bashed in and your hope-farm gets buried under a landslide of FAIL-SCHEMES.

That’s how you retire early …

That’s how you get your revenge.

But you can’t WAIT for the next TOR-GULLEY EMO HAG TRAP …

There are skunk women, laying in wait, out there beyond the SECTOR WALLS where the squirrel nuggets are sold by the pound, and the kids dig for whisker-eggs all day.

You can save up your money and find that place of bliss, if the Florida Woman is willing to lead you down the storm drain.

A chance encounter at CHASE BANK led you to the CD banquet bar behind the safe. Crystal Tibbons is running the GORD MAGNET, as the RETIREMENT OFFICER sifts through Jerry’s underwear stash, from WALMART. Your WIVES prepare a lunch time buffet of slick-grease seed-oil chicken muggots and tryb-sausage from Carol’s donut palace.

FIRE is the way through.

Drunk teachers: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12313

Dreams: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12275

Free Market of Money: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12281

Soup lines: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12207

Ukraine War: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12307

Dogs: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12310

Bad Ideas Rule: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12317

Communists hate anarchists the most: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=12320