September 2022 - PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20220925_IN_A_NUKE_WAR.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

I was at the Maverick yesterday …

“What day is it?”

“What?”

“What day is it? Is it Friday?”

“It’s Saturday …”

“I still have time.”

In a nuclear war …

Your girl named sally.
The dog in your life.
Cocaine searches.
Fishing for cockroach wine …
Your ex-wife …
Primary targets …
Come as you are …
You are the missile commander, manning that silo
Bombs make us clean again …
We become like children again.
In a nuke war, you have an ESP DOG
In a nuke war, you hunt grinkus-flesh
In a nuke war, women wear almost nothing, they cover themselves in muskrat juice, they’re hot and crazy and very loose
In a nuke war, Lee Marvin will roam the countryside, driving his Army jeep, looking for something to love … he’ll find a mutant sheep, he’ll settle down and marry, they will have a nuke-baby … they’ll name it Harry.
Wookies come down from the Crazy Mountains, they find Montana wine and ravage the busty maidens …. they wield swords of fire … their eyes glow brightly … the cockroach-stew, is meant for me and you … in a nuke war
People will eat chimpanzee burgers
You can live in an orbital facility, making zero G love to Scarlett Johannson
You can get on board a starship headed for Martian colonies having sideways sex with Mrs Troobis … and she gives you an A.
In a nuke war … You will want to have condiments … Mustard, hot sauce, Sriracha … You will need the condiments because you will eat two things: – canal foam – human trog meat
In a nuke war, all the races will be melted into one.
You will smoke anti-radiation cigarettes, as your 3D printer cranks out tiny 0.5 kiloton nukes … you will have your own shoulder fired launcher … you will take out your ex wife first.

All of this happens in a nuke war …

Social Contract

“The perfect social contract is NO social contract.” – Dr. Freckles

Don’t give up …

“If you’re not dead, you have another chance to fail!” – Dr. Freckles

9/24 …

According to the Simpsons, Homer predicted SOMETHING BIG on 9/24/2022 … best minds believe this refers to the BIG FOOT ONSLAUGHT or WOOKIE WAVE …

The Big Foot people are sick of our shit. They stand 15 feet tall and weigh 600 pounds and can rip your arms off and beat you to death with them. They are tired of our crap and our race wars and gender wars and deconstructive liberal ass-hattery.

They seek our flesh, to ungudgulate themselves and to excite their female’s boovula. They will use our munctis-grease for festivals of promiscuity and fertility so that more wookie people can rule the post nuclear war wastelands.

The Antichrist …

He will be young – and a HE. Probably his early 30’s when the tribulation or end times begin.
He will be successful, brilliant.
He will be attractive, charismatic.
He will be so irresistible that people won’t understand why some reject him, and many will.
He will come with MAGICAL SOLUTIONS to dire circumstances like: famine, disease, disasters known and unknown.
He will begin as a peace maker, bringing the powers of the world under his sway.
He will end as a war maker, seeking the destruction of all mankind.
Those Christians left in the world, after the arrival of the anti-Christ, will be tested – many will fail.
Humans who do not believe in Jesus and His Resurrection, will still have a chance during the end times to turn to God. The window will exist, because the Ecclesiastical life of humans will be so hard, dangerous, miserable and filled with tests of faith.

Meals …

“Every meal I prepare has an ICD-10 diagnosis code associated with it.” – Dr. Freckles

Pain …

You will wander the gusto fields, looking for angel wax. Your dog will hunt the eagle-ferret, your hooker wife will make the stew … and there will be pain … and you’ll feel it … deep inside.

You will seek out the crystal of ORBIS-THROG, making love to the 7 witches, climbing Mt. Dinctus and hanging brains with the YOGI di RAMA … and YES there will be pain … and your body will become smelly, rancid, yellow, and filled with swamp gas.

Yeah … there’s pain.

You will wander down to the wharf and meet Captain Nemo at a gay bar … the bar will be the blue oyster, the Captain will be playing grab ass with a twink … he looks at you, with his bloodshot eyes, and cum covering his greasy hands and you wonder … if you fell in love with him, would there be pain …. ANS: YES FUCKER … it’s like Disney Land, and filled with gombo-creeps and pedos … THERE WILL BE PAIN.

You were space-cracker 99, you rode the star-lines with Peter Weller. Your cyber-cat said “don’t trust him”, your stripper-maid said “give me his sminctus”. Time was frozen, and your last wife, or your first wife, stole the golden-hoe candles and now you’re drifting towards that black hole where Matthew McConaughey and Nicholas Cage baked fraggle-cookies and designed robot-Kevin Bacon … and there will be pain … and there’s no stopping it.

Amazon … you have excess warehouse space in SPAIN.

This excess warehouse space will be used for splunker-harvests. Old scrag folk will be picked up on Tuesday from the old folks home … and then taken to the rendering yard where the dingus-hounds bark at them and usher them into the chipper. Blake Screeg, the UURT-KING, fed those droppings to long dead snail-wolves and those weird fresh street gangs that carry glocks and fire them sideways OG. And yes – there is pain.

YOU …

In your ignorance …

Will master the cards and the broads and sing the songs of cocaine and strippers …

AND YEAH …

THERE WILL BE PAIN!

To be happy …

“Not needing a lot to be happy is a super power.” – Dr. Freckles

Anarchist Rommel …

“Gustavus Adolphus and Cromwell were very close to becoming Anarchist-Rommel.” – Dr. Freckles

There is no alternative …

“TINA dies as the $USD dies.” – Dr. Freckles

Link: https://caia.org/blog/2021/10/13/whats-tina-and-it-good-your-portfolio#:~:text=In%20the%20investing%20industry%2C%20TINA,nowhere%20to%20go%20but%20stocks.