MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230209_Why_are_they_here.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
SUPER BOWL …
It’s like voting or JRR Tolkien books … I don’t care.
Harry Potter? – don’t care.
Going to the Moon? – how is that movie relevant?
Rule of Law
- Covid-19
- Nordstream
… and …
You could always include 9/11 and the JFK assassination …
Genius …
“Passion is the fire, genius is the light: that’s why there are more geniuses than we realize, if we can escape this dead, statist, passionless world.” – Dr. Freckles
What if …
“What if Peter The Great were a hobo that thought he was some Russian Tsar? … I’m serious.” – Dr. Freckles
Prophecy …
“Prophecy is a gift, a reification of faith, but it’s NOT a way to make money or predict the next President.” – Dr. Freckles
More of a machine …
This implant in my arm, it’s changing me …
Already the super-tech titanium tendrils from this stuff, in my fucking arm, is giving me the power of TOTAL LOVE SEX ONENESS and ANAL STOVE PIPE.
My hooker lovers are lining up, around the block, to taste my heart-rod and simmer in the juices of my deep caress …
My robot name is KLAMMER …
I have several small, vibrating, rubber covered, pitted cylinders that pop out, when necessary – you know what I mean girls.
I am a robot man now …
(I am ribbed for your pleasure)
Already, the dogs see me different …
The Hungarian Puli eyes me, with his dread side eye and weird noises he makes that sound like an old crack head saying “FUCK YOU” over and over again …
The Shar Pei grinds his teeth, waiting …
The others pretend like everything is “okay” …
My mind is becoming expansive, as the titanium gumptuous fills my soul with garbage and fear-waste. I am yearning for the husky, dusky, jungle loving type grease bats, like in the old days of jungle fever.
I am ready for her sordid kiss, and then I’ll use my freeze ray and take her back to my lair and tie her up in a barber’s chair …
This is the machine talking.
I want to remember the human me, the organic and loving me, but only this wretched titanium now – screaming, yelling, demanding flesh. It denies the carbon unit, and seeks silicon style love making, somewhere in Seoul, Korea. And among the demon priests, my robot grease is prized …
Helmeted grief-herders shower monkey spice on the soft folk of region-KILO. These people just want to eat their frug-stew and drink their brown water and hide from the sky-pythons, that be killing their babies. I was drawn to them, my machine arm pointed their way. I was the glowing fire god to these sand freaks, and my own ivory dream would be their shredder.
“Do you know the price of smuggiz oil?”, the old crone asked me. I slapped her with my robot arm, and told her to leave this place. You see: she was really a 32 year old sleaze-witch seeking after my ivory power grease. I cannot forsake or deny the gentle soothing power of that.
I keep trying to reverse it, fight against it. I can sense my mind being torn by the eternal sea, filling it with the dead things that only Danish people know about. I know that my soul is undergoing defenestration and spirit wanding. I would not scream, except for her name, “M”.
It’s impossible to describe what this titanium is doing to me, really …
It’s as if I am touching my broken YOU mind, and reforming my ME self into derelict protein and tempting the swamp goddess NESTRA so that she might insert the hot rod where it goes …
It is sweet fate.
I would make mountains of molehills, and hope from hookers, and whiskey from dead cats …
I would send valentines to the future, asking for muddle-cream to rub on my biz-trick. I would get nothing from those huftee-boo types, I would simply hide in the shadow gallery alone.
The NEWS …
Bargaining for lesser catastrophe … (updated list)
- Monkey-Herpes / Covid
- The Vaccine
- The George Floyd Race War
- JAN 6
- Biden is CRAZY …
- Hunter Biden is so bad …
- Look at all these weirdos – the great TRANS eruption (look for actors)
- Ukraine War
- CHINESE SPY BALLOON
- AI is so scary – the CHATGPT story …
- Stagflation
- US default (left out the silent part)
- They gonna take the guns …
- Government says there are ALIENS … omg
(I could keep going)
It’s your fault if you are renting out your brain to:
- Chinese Spy Balloon
- ChatGPT Skynet
- The great TRANS eruption
(and all the rest – so many trauma monkeys now)
Simple fact: if you remove the bullshit from the news at this point, there is no news.
(no news)
NO GNEWS is GOOD GNEWS on the GARY GNU SHOW!
Close Encounters!
“Almost every story of alien abduction sounds like a really bad one night stand.” – Dr. Freckles
“… pulled off to the side of the road. I was alone, and feeling dirty … the alien reptile thingy shoved this … I dunno … into my butthole.”
“… they told me they had a plan to destroy Baltimore. That all they needed were 5 CHEVY trucks, 20 drunk rednecks, and 5000 pounds of fertilizer. It was crazy … the ginger girlfriend said it had something to do with ZOG … what’s that?”
“… they had a workbench and some cheap ass rusted out tools …”
There’s this other story of a woman who was alone, at a bar, on a Saturday night …
It was near closing time, and a strange dude walked in …
He asked the woman if she was alone, and then, according to the abductee, he slipped some kind of potion into her drink and took her back to his spacecraft.
There were other strange men back at the “spaceship”, but she was “groggy and unable to escape their clutches …”
“… they asked me if I wanted a pregnancy test … it was almost morning, and I was still tied to the spaceship’s kitchen table … they took baking powder and diesel fuel and metal shavings and placed these into a milkshake and told me to drink it … and I said …”
Moon and the Super Bowl …
I give the same amount of shits …
On average …
“On average, everybody dies.” – Dr. Freckles
Hoe-flation
