COLO-CHECK from #SEAFLOW!
If you are over 50 years old you need to insert a searing anal teaser into your buttocks. You gotta test for CAM-BORG prostate minerals, when you have a chance you should call your mom and ask about the pigeon bacon and terg-bits. Your brother-dad keeps track of the blood bargains at JC PENNY’S, but your own underwear memories are fading fast and there’s no space for dirty Halloween with the Hebrew from Whidbey Island.
SEAFLOW makes an anal swab container set, you can remove and store samples and then send those samples to your friends and family and neighbors and Trump. Your sample can be sent with a simple questionnaire for your COLO-CHECK friends to answer:
1. What does it smell like?
2. What does it look like?
3. Did you take a little of the sample and rub it on your toast?
4. Are you happy about being a COLO-CHECK friend?
5. Do you intend to sue your COLO-CHECK friend?
6. Did you touch it?
COLO-CHECK friends are the KEY to the SEAFLOW colo-check system. Your “friends” smell and touch and taste your fecal samples and anal butt swabs. They observe and post pictures on TIK TOK and YOUTUBE. After days of analysis, some kind of fucking response comes back in the questionnaire. Your colo-check friend cares about you and your bleeding intestines.
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS are KITE TAILORS and ready for a fight! They will take the energy abundance of your anal blood shit swabs and turn that border party into a shanty town hustler. Your MOMS will be DESTROYED when the boys from Bounty Town show up for the fete. And the oiled boobies shine in the darkness, to save the lost from the fire.
The butt colon scooper is a DRYB device or razor sharp COLO-SPOON:
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS will dress up in fake porn-star doctor outfits and insert the SPOON TOOL in order to extract fecal swab samples and other impacted bowel type river droppings. Some TURD-MERGLER phantom-fucked your grandma-sister, and this left an indelible mark upon the porcelain and the ore basin.
Your FRIENDS will insert the COLO-SPOON, using 400 foot pounds of force. The sausage squeeze forms and then tolg-residue is left behind on the satin sheets. Your washing machine will be crimson and beet as you too sweet your cream pie mystery into folder sphincter mastery.
If you don’t have a colo-check friend, we’ll find one for you.
COLO-CHECK FRIENDS are the best at parties and HYDROGENATED herbal steer roundups. Your buttercup mansion can be built and your ONE TRUE LOVE can be there for you, cooking up coyote rascal mutton flakes and other scarab beetle melee puddings.
SO USE COLO-CHECK SEAFLOW ENABLED COLO-SPOONS!
Let the power of spider egg gels power your bowel movements!