If I had an ONLYFANS account?
It would be some fetish site, exhibiting an overweight dude, in his 50’s, eating chili raw from a can, in his underwear, in the darkness of a cold camper.
(and that’s just every night for me)
If I had an OnlyFans account?
I’d wear snuggle-bunny diapers, and have some kind of fucking plastic pacifier in my mouth … as I slobbered over German chocolate cake – and read Nietzsche …
If I had one of those accounts …
I’d shake my booty, for the looty …
If I had an OnlyFans account …
I’d trick old “Wharf Sarah” into being in some “movies”. She’s 70 and has been tricking for decades … our thing? – the “double Santino Oklahoma style” …
It involves 300 feet of abrasive rope, a diesel generator, four long fluorescent bulbs.
don’t do the “double Santino” on a first date
a “single Santino”? – maybe, if you have an emergency defib kit