“ARISE, ARISE! IT’S X-MAS DAY!”

Arise, Arise, it's Christmas morn.
This is no time for watching porn.
Shuck the crab and crack the corn.
Passout where you lay.
It's Christmas day!

You threatened your boss cuz you have no say.
You were fired and receive no pay.
Now you can't buy that special wine.
It will all be fine.
It's Christmas day!

Your neighbors,
you see,
moved yesterday.
There's copper to gather - don't throw it away.
Copper tubing is money and that's OK.
It's Christmas day! - Peoples...

That girl you know,
who lives down the street.
She surely thinks you are quite neat.
I know she said, "you have stinky feet".
Stalk her anyway, it's Christmas day!

That cheap whiskey is just sitting there,
staring at you from the TV tray.
Finish it off - that's the only way.
For lonely drunks - it's Christmas day!

Your ex-wife has the kids today.
"Were the hookers worth it?",
is all she could say.
Vodka lingers on your breath.
Next comes death...
It's Christmas day!

Merry Christmas peoples!