PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

I’ll be making Ol’ Mangies Toogat Soup … eating it alone in my camper, in the dark.

Recipe:

Mix gravel and diesel and metal shavings and broken glass – along with turnip-worms and dried yellowjackets … don’t cook it … not unless you want to ruin the flavor.

It’s so good.

There’s an entrée I’m preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow …

It takes time and patience, like scaling the mountains of Horg and seeking after Queen Lustra’s POWER JUICE, but knowing you’re not really Clint Eastwood.

You take baked beans and old hairspray and mineral spirits and mix this into a large bowl …

You then mix in toadstools and x-ray bugs …

Eat this, while watching old episodes of Twilight Zone alone …

currying daggly yolk and massaging merg-shank

yep – cutting up scribbly greens right now … pre-heating the tsongas-beef … making sure I have hyle-gravy.

You go down to the wharf, and meet Tony …

He hooks you up with Sharon, and then things get fun.

You pile CRAB into a swangus-stew pot, and mix in crag-nuts and cat droppings and lost storg-larva …

And it takes some getting used to, especially when your anus starts to bleed.

I put the gumbous-beast in the oven …

Getting craggle-berry waffle juice ready …

Making a slurry of mac+cheese+green beans …

Happy Thanksgiving, really …

Saturnalia begins … with the ritual of the dead bird.

There are blues – fentanyl pills …

Then there are the blues-travelers, fentanyl pills dipped in PCP …

Where did Fetterman really come from?

(he looks like he came from some crooked bio-splicing lab)

It makes me think of Lennie from Of Mice and Men …

I’m working on a sequel/fan-fic to Mice and Men …

“Of Mice and Men 2: Lennie’s Bloodlust” …

The premise …

Lennie IS NOT dead … the gun George used was old and had bad ammo … and Lennie’s head was thick, so he was knocked into a deep coma …

But Lennie comes out of the coma, and seeks revenge on Curley and his wife and Slim and George …

“Lennie” is like government …

(it means well, maybe)

(but it WILL crush your dreams, like a mouse in Lennie’s hands)

I don’t know the REAL ORIGIN STORY of Solomon Grundy – but LENNIE’S STORY would be LIT.

Be like: Marvel calls me …

I like: sure, give me a million.

It’s a movie in 2 years … or less.

It do.

I heard you, my pussy willow … I heard you last night.

I heard you last night, in your bedtime sweat …

You got home late from work, and turned on the “personal massager” …

You thought about our time in Splunkton, and how I ungudoolated your boovula …

I heard YOU harlot woman …

When you spoke your sour words into the phone and broke my heart into pieces …

I heard you when you got that restraining order, and I sort of didn’t hear you … you know what I mean?

But I stay there, in the woods by the river, not far from where you live baby … and I’m waiting.

Waiting for love.

If I had an ONLYFANS account?

It would be some fetish site, exhibiting an overweight dude, in his 50’s, eating chili raw from a can, in his underwear, in the darkness of a cold camper.

(and that’s just every night for me)

If I had an OnlyFans account?

I’d wear snuggle-bunny diapers, and have some kind of fucking plastic pacifier in my mouth … as I slobbered over German chocolate cake – and read Nietzsche …

If I had one of those accounts …

I’d shake my booty, for the looty …

If I had an OnlyFans account …

I’d trick old “Wharf Sarah” into being in some “movies”. She’s 70 and has been tricking for decades … our thing? – the “double Santino Oklahoma style” …

It involves 300 feet of abrasive rope, a diesel generator, four long fluorescent bulbs.

don’t do the “double Santino” on a first date

a “single Santino”? – maybe, if you have an emergency defib kit