PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

Monkey Man Texas Jake was known in Baltimore for his New York style Gyro sandwiches. The women chased him, far and wide, tried and true obsessions with the gypsum faeries and other ghost forms inhabiting Hawaiian Bob’s German Sushi Restaurant. Jenny Goons was in charge of maggot hustling, but it was the EAST SIDE HOOLIES and the GRONKIS LORDS who TOOK THE BOOK to Red Eyes Juan and his Russian-Mexican fusion bistro. Jake danced around this with fancy footwork and new types of river dance persuasion.

In 2044, Jake ran for MAYOR of BALTIMORE and his platform was simple: we need to re-introduce dangers animals into the cities, so we can push our limits, so that we MIGHT become strong again. “Our lungs breathe crisper air when we HUNT and RUN in the night, like fantasy panthers”, and many followed Jake after dining at Chow’s BBQ Style Irish Tavern in Bunktonville, not far from Grinken Town.

Jake lost the race, but he won the hearts and minds of the BRAVE. In the shadows people began talking about raising tigers and alligators and releasing them into the sewers and swamps of Baltimore, to forage and hunt. The weird RUBY-ROSE-PERRY-NAUTS breed whale-spiders, feeding them kittens and offal and barbed wire.

Tangled alliances formed around SKY-YOTE breeders and other mutant hawk mongers. Some had bred GOLDEN EAGLES to weigh 600 pounds with a wingspan of 35 feeet. These monsters glide between buildings, living in nests high above the urban throng only to dive down and pick off a jogger or mall walker … when they become isolated from their packs.

Finished with the incompetence and mediocrity of his age, Jake fled EAST to the TROGLAN ISLANDS near Rustia. There he sojourned with the codger tribes and suckled upon the durg-horned-sheep-squid that lived in the jungles and swamps. He married 33 women, and had 99 kids, they lived 100 lives and fought the dimensional pirates of sector-22A.

The times were changing for the RUNNERS, and not a single thread was left to follow. The morticians guild was bringing back THE DEAD.