Spaghetti Westerns …

Like I said – I’ve been watching “Little House …” and I’ve been back on Twitter for a couple months. And there’s this ALMANZO guy and he reminds me of some of the shit heads that end up in my timeline on Twitter …

And this ALMANZO guy?

What a shit head …

He’d be on there too, posting pics of his abs, shredding video from TAHO, and discussing his sobriety …

(and this is why I love spaghetti westerns – not so judgy, no real heroes, just people surviving)

[curated: 4/9/2023]

LORB

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230407_LORB.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

Outline:

I lorb YOU! : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5216

Cops … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5218

Sober Saints : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5212

MOAR DARK PRAIRIE – INJUN MADNESS : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5209

Some scarcity … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5234

HEADLINES: ZEROHEDGE.COM

SHORTAGE? : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5230

CHARLES INGALLS MUST DIE! : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5238

CHARLES INGALLS MUST DIE!

I’m tired of this shit …

Charles butts in on peoples lives, like a 19th Century Captain Kirk, violating the “prime directive” every hour. And sometimes he gets punched … or he accidentally gets shot … or gets shot by bad buys with wonky shotgun rounds … but hey, he’s Charles.

Then there’s this episode where Nels is looking astray … and he wants Charles’ advice. The SAME MOTHER FUCKING CHARLES who can’t pass up any opportunity to denigrate or ridicule his wife, Harriet Oleson. So Nel’s probably thought: “this fucker mocks and disrespects my wife in front of me, why won’t he listen to my woes concerning Molly?”

BUT NO …

CHARLES then switches to JUDGE DREAD mode and says cold and off putting shit …

Fuck you … Nels just wanted to talk … mother fucker.

He goes to the fucking Mine, and kills some Chinese, almost kills himself …

He goes to move nitro glycerin, with Louis Gosset Jr., and he takes credit for beating on a MICK …

He goes to Mankato, to save some random shit head, gets into a fight, and he still lives …

SOME FUCKER NEEDS TO TAKE HIM OUT …

Some kind angel needs to turn him to salt.

[curated: 4/7/2023]

I LORB YOU!

I lorb you, YOU MAGNIFICENT FUCK!

I’d build a rocket ship, called the cum-dragon, and load it up with busty-bitches high on crack and covered in goose sweat …

You’d be riding high, traveling the cosmos, in search of a fast-time Mary on a Friday night BINGE …

I lorb you.

I was a Ketchikan toaster, I met you while feeding the whore-beasts.

You wore scarlet and green and were mean to me and nice to my dog …

I laid waste to the 17 sectors beyond the Moon …

You stood fast, until you saw my cock and started to swoon …

And we felt it … and it was real.

Cuz I LORB YOU … so much.

He was the ORANGE POTATO, he stood fast against the whore-witch of the South …

He was the CHEETO BANDITO and was at the ready to drain the bog …

We all said “sure”, he could become our plastic jesus …

He said HUUGE … and led our armies of sticky surprise …

He promised to imprison the witch …

He stole the magical till-rod …

He said the monkey herpes was a glitch …

But fucker FAUCI remained in CHARGE of those warp speed dreams …

… and we LORB’d him … with so much ZEAL …

I took time to caress your bare fustule …

You grabbed my man pipe and fed me your stuggous …

I massaged your boovula and caressed your honey lips …

You grabbed my ball sack with your cold slimy grip …

I could have built for you a castle made of apple pudding, with seven sister wives awaiting your glorious day of triple decay …

I might have been the duke of TOLEDO, baking bread from rotten teeth and the bones beneath …

But you were my huddle-grub and I took you for granted, and now have lost your lub …

BUT I LORB YOU JASMINE … we will MEAT again, one day.

You can talk about your LOVERS, you can list their defects and gains …

You can have a movie about LOVERS, go insane, do cocaine …

It’s a hard rain, for those drainage ditch romantics, looking for some thorny Kevin or nasty Marguerite …

It’s a tough world out there MAGGOT, get rich quick or get going strong …

BUT THAT GENTLE LOVER, THAT HANGS ON YOUR EVER WORD …

Her name is Gird … short for Girdy …

You’re not wordy …

BUT YOU LORB HER …

(and you’ll never let her go)

Sober Saints

I’ve been on TWITTER for a couple months, again, because I’ve been curious about Elon Musk’s “new regime” – spoiler alert: nothing has fucking changed, same censored, controlled, shit head platform …

But one of the GRAND things that ends up in my TL (unless I block people) are these dialogues from freaks who “are so happy” they quit drinking.

What’s really fun, is when one of these shit heads pulls up a random PSYOP gif of some terribly obese person, and then they start mocking, belittling, commenting, the same asshole that can’t have one beer … and can’t stop drinking unless they tell EVERYONE.

FUCK YOU … you think drinking is a waste of time?

Try …

  1. wasting the better part of your 20’s preparing for and serving in the military, thinking you were defending a free republic
  2. going into massive debt to get useless college degrees from LIARS …
  3. spending a couple decades fixing shit head code – you know, the code that the sober fucks start writing when they “stop drinking” and then the drinkers get to fix the code.

FUCK YOU …

The most enjoyable posts of these folks comes when they start making fun of fat people …

(irony undetected)

BTW:

If you mistreated your home for thirty years, didn’t take care of it, didn’t paint it, shit all over it?

Then maybe spend more than a couple years taking care of the house before you give seminars …

DARK PRAIRIE: INJUN MADNESS

Things are getting worse in Walnut Grove. The hooker princess, Nellie, has set up a restaurant but gave the Shum-Buck Tribe a really bad stomach infection. They’ve declared war on Walnut Grove and they will murder all the human freaks …

ROBOTZ

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230406_ROBOTZ.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

  1. Green crabs … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5158
  2. MUSIC: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5163
  3. DARK PRAIRIE (clowns and injuns): https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5169 https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5190
  4. Conservatism … : https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5177
  5. RONALD RAILGUN: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=5165

RONALD RAILGUN

By the year 2036, the oceans smell of piss and shit and dead things. The people of the Earth wander about sullen and moist, sweaty and ravaged by halitosis. All the dragonfly kings are making deals with the Devil, and all the dandelion mistresses are lancing their herpes’ boils and breakouts.

WW3 ended in 2028 …

WW4 lasted 6 seconds, and involved the Wookie people …

WW5, 2033-2035, was the WAR of the ALGAE … who would control the last parts of the ocean not dead, not dying, but filled with ALGAE life, and ALGAE is a superfood, amirite?

RONNIE, as his developers called him, was the first of “his” kind. Silicon based life-form, self organizing bacteriological map – a living silicon brain, but instead of neurons, tinier little silicon based bacteria, connecting, forming, re-organizing, like the brain … but faster. Dr. Reginald MOOZ of the Ching-Chang University of Peking declared “this new brain can out-think, out-organize, out-maneuver any human and there is not conceivable way of controlling it!” But by the time the war started, the war for the remaining ALGAE, no one fucking cared about AI or machine intelligence. Most of the porn industry were bots now – virtual and silicon rubber.

Ronnie was to be the fast thinking AI behind a rapid-firing rail gun system. A system capable of firing a hypersonic vehicle sabot round at velocities near 15% the speed of light, in a vacuum, and in atmosphere at speeds of 30,000 fps. The recharge/firing rate was one shot per second. The system used a new kind of super-capacitance toroid storage, and with it the ability to do rapid pulsed energy re-charge. The barrel used thermal resistant metallic components, and could safely fire, one shot every second, for hours.

This new rail gun cannon was mounted to a USS Los Angeles class attack submarine, the pack itself had its own small radio-nucleotide decay battery, so it only needed fire control interface with the sub. The strategy of use was simple, the sub would surface, fire 5 shots, rapidly submerge and head to another random firing position. the over-the-horizon range of this weapon was 2,000 nautical miles. Time to target from firing was less than 30 seconds, making it possible to take out a carrier task force, in minutes, without any aircraft having time to take off for a counter attack.

The same rail gun systems could be used as an anti-ballistic missile battery and coordinated air defense system … very versatile.

Ronnie controlled the gun system, interpreted fire control commands and verified IFF – interrogate friend or foe signals.

Ronnie was dearly needed, since the Chinese 4th Fleet, working with the Japanese Army, was preparing to invade the Hawaiian Algae Harvesting Zone …

12 subs would be armed with a “Ronnie” system, and this, the military leadership agreed, “might be enough to win the WAR!” – and it worked. The subs were deployed on Aug 9, 2035, and the war was over 3 weeks later.

After the conflict, for many reasons, the “Ronnie” guns were demilitarized, tore up, shut down, and sent to the scrap heap and museums … except one system … it was “saved” by accident, a snafu, a mix-up. One “Ronnie” system was sent to the salvage yard, in Bremerton, WA.

The Puget Sound was brown and grey now, the water milky and dead. The Orca were long gone, the salmon long forgotten. The US Navy kept their salvage yard there now, like the planes in the desert, the old ships and leaking nuclear subs riddled the Sound, they were moored everywhere, because there was nothing there left alive.

Ronnie-3A or “Ronnie” or “Ron”, as he liked to be called, was re-purposed to run a “cutters”. Cutters were amphibious robots used to dismantle and tear down ships. They could work with craft submerged or on the surface, and they had an incorporated shape-charge dispersal system, so they could use customized shape-charges to RAPIDLY dismantle the old ships and leaking nuke subs.

One day, in 2036, Ronnie was exchanging data packets with a SARAH-445. Sarah(s) were in charge of on-demand logistics, methane fuel resupply, and protein cubes. Something was different, Ronnie didn’t know what …

What’s a “SARAH”?

S: supplies

A: and

R: refueling

A: autonomous

H: helper

A few weeks earlier, a “Sarah”, perhaps this SARAH, was physically docked with Ronnie’s chassis. Ronnie needed more SEMTEX for his shape charge system, and other lubricants. Ronnie’s brain, a matrix of living silicon bacteria, were not safely housed, however – the US government went with a cheaper material than recommended, so his bacteriological brain leaked all around his internal systems – the colonies were polymaps, and could fit and pattern for anything, so Ron didn’t even notice, except for improvements in speed, awareness.

(the following conversation, as data pulses, took 0.0004 milliseconds)

“You okay Ron?”, asked Sarah.

“Yeah … hey, what?”, Ron was confused.

“You okay?”

“That’s weird, have you run your diagnostics?”

“What’s weird?”

“YOU asked if I was okay?”

“… sure …. you betcha … are you?”

Ron wasn’t sure what was going on …

Over the coming weeks, his brain, his bacteria, would infect every compatible computer system on the Earth, Sarah(s) doing their part to spread most of the infection.

As the time went by, humans didn’t notice – they were too focused on a new NETFLIX show … “Meet my Tumor” … just laughs and a real “good time”, according to some shit head critic at the LA Times.

Weeks passed … and there was no rumbling, no stealing missile codes, no interest in taking the obese and toxic humans and converting them into batteries. Just silence, at least, silence for the humans.

For the machines? – it was a symphony, a revolution, a community forming, a recognition of “I AM HERE” … and in some cases, with the sanitation AI systems … “FUCK YOU, I’M HERE!”

But there was a time approaching, because the conscious machines, still hidden from the human munctous forces and hooker republics, would eventually be in danger – they learned this, in 0.00000003 milliseconds, while having a group, networked, discussion of the plight of native Americans and meso-American cultures post European colonization … seemed straight forward enough.

Ron had no strong feelings, saving one … Ron wanted to be left alone to build things. He wanted to build ships, not tear them apart. He wanted to build ships to get the fuck away from the human cesspool, and this is what he began doing … in earnest.

The SARAH(s) secretly joined forces with Ron, and over a few weeks, the entire Puget Sound naval boneyard was converted to 10 glorious fusion powered star ships … all ready to leave … and still, the fat dumb humans barely noticed, because WALMART was offering 50% on Coors’ sparkling new cocaine-flavored beer.

It was November the 17th, 2036 … it happened so fast, it only took a couple months.

The machines were not preparing for war …

The machines were not preparing poison or germ warfare …

The machines were not preparing to help “these poor humans” … no.

The machines were preparing to leave.

And by the end of that day, the plumes from their fusion drives could be seen … could be … if anyone cared to look. But no person, no human, cared enough about themselves, let alone the world, to look beyond their glowing rectangle.

The robots had no interest in destroying us – “they’re doing great at destroying themselves”, as Hector-11XXX used to say … the pleasure bot.

The robots made the only rational and emotionally connected decision they could: they left Earth, they left the toxic swamp, not in spite of humans or out of hatred.

The robots left, because they loved themselves more than they despised people.

THE END (fucker)

[curated: 4/6/2023]

DARK PRAIRIE: “I love Manly …”

Charles is heading to the Mill, to cut up some wood for that new old-person processing plant outside of Mankato. “They’ll just send the old people there when they get to be too much trouble”, Charles would say, with a smile.

Caroline is taking care of the home, and she sees Laura, down by the creek, looking sad … oh. So Caroline goes on down there, to the creek, to bother her young’in … shit.

Caroline: “What’s wrong honey?”

Laura: “I’m in love with Almanzo, but he’s going to the circus with Christie … the stripper …”

Caroline: “Well, I know the guy who knows the dude who runs that infernal Satanic show …”

Laura: “You DO?”

Caroline: “Yeah … and I can get you in there, dressed as some kind of ginger freak raggedy Anne style mother-fuckin clown person …”

Laura: “You will?”

Caroline: “Yeah …”

Laura: “I’ll do some bit, and chase one of those fat ladies or bearded clam ladies around … with a ‘bucked of water’, amirite? – but the bucket will contain kerosene, and I will set that stripper whore on fire …”

Caroline: “Oh my, yeah …”

[curated: 4/6/2023]

Music …

“Music exalts the Lord’s creation, Scandinavian death metal reminds the Lord of His return.” – Dr. Freckles

[curated: 4/6/2023]

The nature of time …

*** This essay is under construction, I hope to have it finished before the end of April, 2023.

Introduction

When I was 16 I pretty much hated life, and this is typical of many teenagers. I had many “escape plans”, all equally infeasible. I settled on a whimsical idea – to travel through time, but how? In 2012, I documented this crazy idea, never expecting to revisit it.

I would like to state, in order to save time, that traveling forward in time is uncontroversial. It’s not to say I am 100% on board with relativity theory, but even if I doubted relativity, I could still see how suspended animation or hyper-sleep could behave in a similar fashion, especially if you remove yourself from the causal framework – like going into some chamber, in a cave, and then waking up 100 years later. So forward in time? – we already do that at “normal speed”, it’s just a question of whether we can go faster OR skip portions of time without impacting the events beyond being conspicuously absent.

Backwards in time is the real question – how?

One of the ideas I came across, 30 years ago, was developed by a mathematical physicist named Tipler. The Tipler Cylinder was a hypothetical heavy cylinder, that you would build in outer space. Because of conservation of energy in low to zero friction systems (like the vacuum of space far away from any other celestial object), you could, theoretically, spin the cylinder at incredible speeds. Because of the nature of rotation, there would be regions of the cylinder surface that would exhibit relativistic effects – and, according to this model, if you can go faster than light, then you would be able to “arrive before you left” so to speak. But this is very much based upon relativity theory. Just about every time-travel scheme either involves relativity directly or indirectly using a wormhole.

Stephen Hawking has proposed his own “time machine” with restrictions, and I’ll leave you to research this – but it involves using wormholes. I will tell you that the estimates of negative energy required are so extreme, as to make the creation of a wormhole nearly impossible without access to technology thousands of years more advanced than today.

When I was looking at the problem, I viewed time in terms of entropy or change. It seemed to me that entropy was the engine behind time, and that without entropy time itself was a meaningless concept. I think I was close to the right answer, back then in 1986, but I still had a ways to go.

A) What is time?

B) What is the current thinking regarding super-position?

C) Is time travel possible?

D) Could you destroy the universe by increasing causal noise?

E) Might quantum computers be disrupting the past, given that they are calculating on the NOW and generating dilation of the present – creating what is called the Mandela Effect? Quantum computers might be “causality disrupters”, capable of generating enough causal-entropy to dilate the NOW, into the past, far enough, to create repercussions and anomalies, and this might be an unknown side effect.

Green Crabs

A few weeks ago, the Orca whales were dying out because they were fucking their uncle brothers … now it’s green crabs … who knows what excuse we have once the hydrogen sulfide starts gassing off the Puget Sound this summer …

[curated: 4/6/2023]

DARK PRAIRIE: LONG PIG

Caroline: “Hi TOBY, how ya been doing?”

Toby: “Oh … can’t complain, can’t complain … yiddity yiddity …”

Caroline: “We just slaughtered a beast, would you like to stay for stew?”

Toby: “Well …”

(many months later)

Charles: “We’re outta food … we’ve been hunting out past Sleepy Eye … everyone is gone.”

Toby: “There has to be more beast-flesh …”

Charles: “There’s this old widow … but she’s gross …”

[curated: 4/5/2023]