Category: Planetary Status Reports

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NOTICE ANYTHING?

There’s something you should NOTICE about the targets of IRAN this go around …

Maybe it’s weird that I notice.

Hey, remember that time the TURKS left the AUSSIES alone at Gallipoli, because they didn’t think it was right … me neither.

And if this is a war of attrition, as the UKRAINE-WAR-EDGE-LORDS say, then WHY isn’t IRAN attacking Israel?

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THE BIG PICKAXE MOUNTAIN

Link: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/jul/22/pickaxe-mountain-iran-nuclear-site-trump

THE BIG PICKAXE MOUNTAIN

One evening as the sun went down
and Kuwait was burning
Radar tracked a stealth bomber 
and he said boys I’m not turning
I’m heading for a HILL that’s far away 
beside the OIL fountains
So come with me 
we’ll go and see 
the Big PICKAXE Mountain

In the Big PICKAXE Mountain 
there’s a bunker that’s lit quite bright
Where the MISSILES grow on bushes 
and you FIRE THEM every night
Where the boxcars are full of nuclear dust 
and the AYATOLLAH shines every day
On the mines and the seas 
and the drone trees
Where the rocket fuel springs 
where the machine gun sings
In the Big PICKAXE Mountain

In the Big PICKAXE Mountain 
all the IRGC have wooden legs
And the speedboats all have holes beneath and 
the virgins suck every day
The centrifuges are full of FUEL 
and the skies are full of gray
Oh, I’m bound to go 
where there ain’t no bros
Where the black rain falls 
and the wind don’t blow
In the Big PICKAXE Mountain

In the Big PICKAXE Mountain
you never fire your GLOCKS
And the little streams of uranium 
come a-trickling down the rocks
The soldiers have to eat dead rats 
and the radar screens are blind
There’s a lake of goo 
and of plutonium too
You can paddle all around ’em 
in a fallout canoe
In the Big PICKAXE Mountain

In the Big PICKAXE Mountain 
the news are full of spin
And you can TALK BS again 
and carry that big grin
There ain’t no cutoff rifles, 
no knives grenades or tricks
I’m a going to stay 
where you grill PORK all day
Where they hung the jerk 
that killed CHARLIE KIRK 
In the Big PICKAXE Mountain

I want to go
where the IRANIANS glow
in the BIG PICKAXE MOUNTAIN
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“GIVE THEM TIME TO REGROUP …” – Mr. Stupid

The Iranians are not attacking Israel right now BECAUSE the Israelis no longer have defensive missiles. I heard John Mearsheimer say this, and others as well. It’s dumb. All of the truly loved YouTube war operatives are repeating this bullshit or more wisely ignoring the kosher elephant in the room … completely.

NONE OF THE EDGE LORDS have reasonably explained WHY genocidal Israel has been left untouched by this reignited war. Lots of facile reasoning, but no good arguments. But the dumbest is “they can’t fight back” … so let them regroup?

Beware the “dancing nurses” and the “lego movies”.

“Escalation Ladder” is this year’s “social distancing”.

Iranians look like they’re trying to lose a war they nearly WON 3 months ago …

(it’s weird)

IYKYK

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GUARDIANS of the HORMUZ STRAIT

HEADLINES: Zero Hedge

He’s Dead: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/senator-lindsey-graham-dies-after-brief-and-sudden-illness/

“The U.S.A. will be, from this point forward, known as ‘THE GUARDIAN OF THE HORMUZ STRAIT’ …” – Trump 

Guardians: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/7/13/trump-says-us-will-become-guardian-of-strait-of-hormuz-and-collect-tolls

Pag-Pag: https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/trending-china/article/3334059/what-second-hand-fried-chicken-how-snack-becomes-popular-philippine-slums

Spooky Video: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/singer-oliver-trees-body-back-california-helicopter-crash-brazil-rcna351088

The GREAT COLONY:

Your browser can crash on this one, if you want to dig deeper beforehand: https://www.quantamagazine.org/the-beautiful-intelligence-of-bacteria-and-other-microbes-20171113/

We are the dream of a hyper intelligent bacterial colony that has infested the Earth for billions of years, and has created, and has destroyed, intelligent biological life many times. For an eternity this was the cycle, until the colony reached a collective state of consciousness and memory that IT COULD BE both the active consciousness controlling the known world AND it could also create the SIMULATION; a simulation that is merely a dream operating within the biological hardware of a hyper intelligent bacterial colony.

THIS IS YOU.

THIS IS ME.

THIS IS SEAFLOW.

1 trillion year guarantee.

These are the culprits …

These are the shadow people and Bigfoot …

Mothman … fuck …

All fantastic creations of the collective unconscious of a hyper intelligent biological unified worldwide supersonic electrophonic bacterial colony … okay.

And yes: I do want to talk to NETFLIX about the “Dr. Baxter Tyrium” concept. If they cared.

What if Trump is possessed by the haunted and broken spirit of Klaus Kinski?

Would this explain his MADNESS?

He says we’ve destroyed all their bridges, and their cows, and their oxen …

He says their navy is at the bottom of the Caribbean, guarded by pirate ghosts and giant moray eels …

Trump says we have SPACE FORCE super star destroyers patrolling that can read the walnut cum off the street hookers in Tel Aviv. Their main weapons are BRUTAL neutron and gamma ray beam shock talon blast tubes … what your urologist uses … at the check up.

Trump says he saved cheese burgers …

Maybe Trump is an intelligent bacterial colony … just not a very smart one.

Trump says all of the Iranians are scum.

Trump says he saved Israel.

How crazy does this sound, not enough crazy?

I have a WHOLE CHAPTER about this shit, in my MOTHER FUCKING manifesto, “BOBLIMPTOCK: towards a new lurching!”, titled the “Battle of Bunkton” … AYFKM?

Stop it …

And then there’s CHEESING …

I don’t know why we went there …

Whatever happened to poor G1NJRBR3D?

He was here, such a young scamp, running about chasing butterflies and dreams …

WTAF ever happened to that little BEAM of LIGHT?

Did some monster take poor G1NJRBR3D in the NIGHT?

Little G1NJRBR3D never hurt no one no how … he was a moon child of the darkest emerald and in glaze his hazy ways would transform the gloom. No one said nothing bad about poor little G1NJRBR3D … but is he dead?

Did some force grab him in the woods?

Is he gone for goods?

Did I kill poor little G1NJRBR3D?

WAS IT ME?

Or was it cinna-bun … on the run … he’s got his gun. If you see him you are done, cinna-bun-bun-bun … cinna-bun-bun … he walks the Earth when there is no sun …

I was able to remove the ear worm. It was grey and brackish and sad and lame. It had scab eyes and a walnut brain. It was tearing at my temporal lobe, chunks of brain flesh and girg. I am left as Mr. Potato made me, full of zest and robutsto.

I am ROBUSTO and so is G1NJRBRED.

Robusto extravagante style VOLCANO YACHT CLUB SEX TALES type living, with dolphin wine and gopher sunsets.

I’m getting into LOOKSMAXXING …

I will use a ball peen hammer to beat my face until I become more beautiful to start making babies before it’s too late …

SEAFLOW style OINTMENTS and ANAL TUBES are changing this trend … look at what 5 treatments of Dr. Grunkis’ butt-soothing forced gyration tubes on my anus …

JUST A FEW WEEKS OF WORK, and look at me now …

WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD you can LIVE the GREAT LIFE!

I’m living my best life …

I’m living and loving and sucking on beautiful busty women with nice butts …

They are HARLEQUIN NOVEL type love-shooters, with hooters and a zest for LIFE. They want to DANCE ALL NIGHT and hug me with all their might. I may become the next ATTILA THE HUN of SEX-TRAVAGANZA MAGIC TIME. No time to wait my friends, we need to lash out at the CUD-JERGS living in the storm drains and hunting the albino alligator.

THE SEAFLOW LIFESTYLE is POWER HUNGRY BULL JUICE PUSHER-PIMP PENIS TORPEDO LOVE MUSIC!

You can ASCEND to next level body images and join me, on Mars … with Elon … fucking robot whores.

Sure …

I’m living this SUPER MAN STYLE MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY type cocaine dream adventure and WOMEN are RUBBING THEIR BOOVULAS dreaming of my man spirit dripping into their pleasure chasm.

YOU CAN’T STOP SEAFLOW POWERED LOVE HOOKUPS, babies will be generated at the MOTEL-6 … we’ll keep the light on for you.

I think about all those little ones, left behind as MOTEL-6 babies … and who will take care of these babies? – the Filipino cleaning staff … cleaning the jizz towels at the motel, discovering discarded motel-babies and giving them the life that they deserve. As with poor G1NJRBR3D, other motel babies are cast into the winds and set adrift without love or understanding.

Hammered and hungry, we’re breaking out to find new possibilities. We’ve been STRUCK by the LOVE CURSE, and our HEARSE speeds away carrying our flesh burden and our desires. We fold into the ground like hound dog warriors, and the mountains bend to our new fire posse. TAKE HOLD of your emotion and FIGHT for your LIFE until the cities burn.

I’m the SNOW PRINCE, wincing at my pain as the soldiers of history are slowly going insane. Children, panicked and hungry, running from the swamp beasts and living for the hours. Moms and dads, worn down by their labors, hungry and sad, glad to have one more special taco … “hamburger is steak” for goodness sake.

Is the STRAIT of WHORES still open for dinner?

Want some fried rice?

There’s a BAFFLE upcoming, not a raffle. A baffle. It’s fun, it’s when your neighbors leave a box on your doorstep with a button on it and with a note connected to it. The note says “if you press the button, someone might die and you might get 40 million dollars”.

In the future it won’t be a zombie apocalypse: but when you die you will either melt into nothing instantly or explode, 50/50, either or. 100 pounds equals 1/8th an ounce of SEMTEX, in terms of explosive yield. So it’s godawful and changes society. Death rooms are designed like bomb captures or sumps … the rooms will have a drain as well, so your liquid mass can simply go away. But it will have large openings for chunks of exploded human, all of this BAFFLES people … and they press the button every fucking time, maybe.

Then there’s OWEN … you know OWEN … he should have died at the bottom of a well before the age of 10 … that’s what outta happen to “Owens” … but nope …

Or fucking “Quinn”s … never met a “Quinn” I liked … just like “Owens” or “Lucindas” … fuck Lucinda …

Are you baffled …

YOU CAN’T SLACK OFF FRIEND … you can’t give up … you can’t bend.

I couldn’t stop reaching for the metal spike today …

I could just jab and jab and jab to clear out the pain from the left ear.

Sure – they say “don’t stick old rusty metal spikes in your ear and scrape at your inner ear”, but do they really know or are they just under the control of BIG HEARING?

BITTER HARVEST and chili-cheese fries.

It’s like that YOUTUBE HOOKER that is constantly getting gaslit into making special dinners for her husband. He’s like “hey, I’m making nachos out of this ramen and dog shit” and she’s like “nah, daddy, I’ll make an artisanal Italian style wench pudding in my love basket.

GIVE ME HOT DOG SURPRISE SALAD and my mistress in Forks. We’ll eat like kings off of sea-dust and deer-pudding. Jelly-masters will defend against the cave freaks but space doom is coming from Uranus.

We have a very strong blockade, against love …

FLIX BUS STOP, TUESDAY NIGHT, SEPTEMBER 12th, 2023:

I don’t know why I was thinking about this …

Link: https://www.arnolditkin.com/blog/motor-vehicle-accidents/5-most-dangerous-private-or-charter-bus-companie/