“The only people who should be allowed to say ‘mark my words’ are villains, in Scooby-Doo episodes.” – Dr. Freckles
I need a woman …
A woman of iron and brass …
A woman of knives and glass …
A woman made of tissue and chess …
She might be named Bess.
Not some lukewarm velveteen,
but a woman that shakes her fist at God, with passion.
She’s okay with pizza, but doesn’t want you to hear her fart.
She walks with pride,
a sexy stride,
and if she lies about her former lovers? – she does so to protect your pride.
I need a woman that can outshoot me,
and out love me.
Her body is shaped like some beautiful ocean,
islands and eddies …
Shoreline from the mountains of her busty-ness,
to the hidden valley ranch.
I want the cave-girl vibes,
with a job that pays …
I want to take care of her,
but she doesn’t need it.
She’ll build a cabin, just for us …
We’ll grow crops and harvest the beast …
Our love will run deep.
She won’t sell her juice for yeast.
SHE will be demure,
but with fists to match her passion.
She will be dignified,
with a .357 for any man that tries to TAKE from her.
She will be smart, but not a showoff …
And when she sees pain, she’ll be the healer.
I need a woman who knows the Lord in Heaven rules,
but she’s not afraid to be my whimsical lover.
I want a woman who is NOT afraid to be slutty,
in private,
when the doors are closed.
I need a woman who is NOT afraid to be fierce,
in public, in the wilderness,
where the monster lurk.
I need a woman who will wear jeans and boots,
and stand watch on the tower,
and wear a flower,
for love.
Truth or Whiskey …
“You can have truth or whiskey or both.” – Dr. Freckles
All the Martian invaders …
“Have the Israelis killed all the Martian invaders yet?” – Dr. Freckles
Empire …
A simple process for douches who want to steal shit:
- find a country that has shit you want
- install shit head as LEADER
- let it boil for 5 to 10 years
- Declare shit head “evil” and invade
(rinse and repeat)
HOBLIMPTOCK
“I’ve talked about BOBLIMPTOCK, but not HOBLIMPTOCK.” – Dr. Freckles
IT at work …
The IT software / firewall at work classifies my blog, this blog, as porn …
If it is porn? – it’s a strange porn.
A porn for strangers …
A table set for strangers to feel less alone.
People like me …
“When people like me stop getting cancelled? – you should probably get worried.” – Dr. Freckles
Sheep dipping …
- What is it?
- What is it today?
- Does it require consent or knowing participation?
The laundromat …
“The laundromat is like a casino that is more peaceful and less disappointing.” – Dr. Freckles
(bonus: you get to hear the cling-cling-cling of the change machine, and it’s like a slot machine paying out)