Category: Boblimptock

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By the YEAR …

By the YEAR 2028, “butt scorpions” will become the new genital crabs …

By the YEAR 2133, all adult females will be registered as “sandwich makers” … now go in the fucking kitchen and make me a sandwich!

By the year 2043, 14 sector lords will be declared HAG-WARDENS and given authority to track down and destroy all break dancers … all of them must be wiped out.

By the YEAR 2029, the forlorn rustlers will meet up with the lesbian sky navies and form the ultimate coalition of sexy results …

By the YEAR 2037, Joe Rogan will be replaced with ROBO-ROGAN. Joe will be stripped of all wealth and will live out his days sorting peanuts from fecal matter for lower tier human consumption … with the rest of filth in QUADRANT-BETA …

By the year 2087, lots of people are being impregnated …

(with spores)

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Which Irwin Allen character are you, in the time to come?

(here is a short and not complete or authoritative list)

1961 – “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” – Walter Pigeon as “Admiral Blow Up the Van Allen Belt”

Who wants to bang BARBARA EDEN?

1972 – “Poseidon Adventure” – Gene Hackman as the “Lost Preacher” or Ernest Borgnine as “The Good Cop that married a hooker”

1974 – “Towering Inferno” – Steve McQueen as “angry firefighter chief” or William Holden as “the scum bag contractor”

1978 – “The Swarm” – Michael Caine as “Doctor Smarty Pants”

1979 – “Beyond the Poseidon Adventure” – Telly Savalas as “Captain Creepy”

1980 – “When time ran out” – Paul Newman as “Hero Oil Rig dude”

(banging Jacqueline Bisset …)

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Getting stuck in my mind …

I keep hoping that I get stuck there, when I’m away – some place different, better. A shelter deep inside my mind, where no one can find the dreams I’ve hidden.

It would be so graceful just to die there, be stranded in my whimsy.

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I keep drinking …

I keep thinking,
I want to quit drinking,
but the BOMB keeps ticking,
it’s an alarm clock in my head.

I was DEAD,
when the old whiskey slut sold my kidneys,
“it wasn’t me”, she said.

I was lost,
when my cocaine boss sold loin dressing,
and the magnet freaks kept on a’blessing,
that infernal sphere … hovering in the dark.

So you keep thinking,
you can stop drinking,
but you will still be freaking out.

Your wolf spirit is gone.

Could you hear the INFLUENCE GUY YELL,
at the opening bell,
when turtle wash cowboys SELL SELL SELL.

And your own FRIED FISH DREAMS,
come apart at the seams,
as the elf captain says “we’ve got some turbulence”,
and the bliss barons fall silently in love.

Look out below?
Oh NO …
Look out above.