Category: Boblimptock

“I’m always saying ‘glad I met you’ to someone I’m not glad I met.” – Catcher in the Rye

If I had a million dollars?

With inflation?

I would do one woman at the same time.

1. laptop with my first chapter of Big Foot War 1 … sucks
2. my backup drive was eaten by the WINDOWS OS on my work computer, fuck …
3. my blogs from GO DADDY, finally destroyed by them, indirectly, their shitty GO DADDY ENERGY …
4. my woman left me for a BORG-KNIGHT, a lost one hooked on PCP … and you know me, I didn’t care … she gave me crabs.
5. Boomer has probably forgotten me, I dunno … Boomer is cool.
6. I was at the laundry and they had an AUTOWASH CAR WAS in addition to machines for cleaning your clothes … I thought that in BOBLIMPTOCK, these car washes could be converted into horrific torture chambers … and then I ponder snail meat pizza.

I’m getting really interested in unicycles …

I have this feeling that the next BIG INVASION or ATTACK is going to come from strippers riding unicycles, naked … carrying glocks.

“STRIPPERS on CRACK on UNICYCLES!”

(call me Tarantino …)

(script writes itself in one weekend)

BTW: “The History of Successful Airborne Operations” is not a long read.

I’ve invented a super soldier …

– crack whore, former dancing nurse/BLM street organizer/drag queen story time host

– wearing armor made from US passport material

– masked up

– wielding a machine gun that fires box cutters

– riding a unicycle

– connected to a paraglider

– and she’s naked, with only a strap on

It’s like “men on the Moon” …

None of the ships that landed “men on the MOON” ever seemed like they could plausibly work.

But like “paragliders from Palestine”, the populace is mystified, stunned, staring gormlessly at their CNN or FOX NEWS, deluded and confused.

So “men on the MOON” works, and that’s okay.

HOLY FUCK …

a) load up a lunar lander with naked crack whore strippers, the armor on the lander is made of US passport material

b) once the lander LANDS, the hookers take off in paragliders, the hookers have a box-cutter firing swivel gun

c) near the ground, the hookers disengage from the glider and start riding unicycles

d) near the target, the unicycle converts into a pogostick dildo combo, and the hooker ride it using their boovula

e) the hookers are former BLM-DRAG-QUEEN-PUTIN-STORY-TIME-NURSES, that dance

f) everyone is stunned

g) no one could have seen this coming

Okay …

Run with this:

“ARMY OF DEAD BUT CYBERNETICALLY ENHANCED CATS”

(with rocket launchers)

(so “laser cats” doesn’t sue us)

Even more shocking than paragliders or unicycle hooker soldiers …

Did you know that radical hikers and granola types are forming thug armies in the Olympic National Forest?

I know this …

These are things they DON’T report in the news.

People are going up, into the forest, to live.

Boondockers are scattering to the 8 winds.