ROOKIE NUMBERS
WOKE CLOSURE
“Transitive closure for woke people is a bridge too far.” – Dr. Freckles
TAKE FIVE
“The best parts of Dave Brubeck TAKE FIVE are the parts they never play in movies or TV shows.” – Dr. Freckles
Listening to music …
“If you know how to listen to music, you know HOW to know everything.” – Dr. Freckles
Parrots, pirates, and “smart devices” …
“Parrots are better smart devices, and they last 100 years, and their batteries are well made.” – Dr. Freckles
“muting”
“Block or do not block, passive aggressive muting is.” – YODA
Something for the Sovietologist to nibble on …
GET A GRIP
“You know what I WANT? – a woman in my life that has a grip on reality, even a tiny grip is better than none.” – Dr. Freckles
SOCIAL MEDIA MAN
“If you’re posting on social media what YOU think a MAN is? – then you’re in the wrong place to begin with.” – Dr. Freckles
SINGLE MOM
MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20230709_SINGLE_MOM.mp3
Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles
Single moms: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8138
Look at Me: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8179
Dangerous Tide Pod Bullshit: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8176
Hairless Monkeys: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8170
Replacement: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8168
Dichotomous Thinking: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8166
Obsession: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8158
Days Sober: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8154
Moar Sobriety: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=8149
SINGLE MOMS
Single moms go trotting around on SATURDAY NIGHT at the LAUNDRY …
They beg for quarters from the old bachelors who’s hooker wives dumped them.
And the baby?
The baby is left in the car, as the MOM goes into the bar to get drunk and hook up with a tattooed biker named Kyle.
A lot of men, myself included, felt like cash machines when we were married …
Did we marry the wrong woman?
I DUNNO SHIT HEAD – did you have sex with the wrong man?
Did some GOOD LAY leave a slug in your belly?
Was he really a “nice guy” who only beat you sometimes … but he had a “good job”, amirite?
Seems like everyone, myself included, is getting what they deserve.
A SINGLE MOM is a cave-maiden. She sells castor oil soap and varmint sweat while her kids walk the streets tossing bricks off the overpass.
A single mom spends her day watching JERRY, as she eats marshmallow spread and frunctulates her boovula. She has no guile, only a meth smile.
Her TARGEN DUGG fuel KING uses her as a mechanic’s rag, and when he’s done she’s none the wiser … only a case of the crabs as remembrance.
Single moms know how to party …
A single mom never loses, because she never risks anything worth measuring – her cargo shock container paradise is covered in skittles mold and American cheese.
Her peanut butter brood lurks outside the abandoned lot, never knowing when their next meal is coming, always RED EYED and hazy. They know mom’s just “tired” and “needs a break” …
They know RAMEN PIZZA is for dinner …
Single moms can COOK.
A SINGLE MOM is the WASTREL, the viggis-banshee. She yells the name of her lover, her donor, as she bangs the landlord to pay rent. She hearkens after the FIST, but claims to her support group she “just wants a nice guy”.
Single moms tramp about after midnight in SCOMPTON, sometimes with their kids in tow …
She’ll sell slug-flesh to the Jesuits and forget all this pain in the confessional, as nasty Roman priests whisper dirty words in her ears …
A single mom is a stop sign made out of jello.
A single mom is a HERO … to her dealer.
She gets discount on TRANQ and ROCK and her teeth are ground down to nothing …
She breastfeeds her newborn, feeding her the same pain that she was fed – a cocktail of low expecations, poverty, neglect and abuse. From her tit comes all the pain, from her is delivered a soul knife.
A single mom speaks LOUDLY of her SISTERHOOD, as she mocks her sisters wailing in the streets. She is SO HUGE in her matriarchy, as long as CHUCK is working checkout, as long as the OLD ENGLISH 800 is on sale.
Single moms like to smoke cheap cigars.
A single mom drags the TEMPTRESS FORCE, digging graves near the abandoned library. She confides in street-demons and makes pacts with the Devil’s hairdresser. Her walls are made of flesh and steel, her body grows tired from the ageless theft.
A single mom can’t STOP the fires, and doesn’t want to – no more than she wants to give up her pipe. She’ll attend all her meetings, she’ll do the SERENITY PRAYER, but at 2 AM when her kids are asleep, she slips out back to pull on the meth pipe with LARRY, the building janitor, and plumber … he’ll give her a rock or two.
After the MOON DISAPPEARS, the worry lines turn to wrinkles, a single mom sits silently in her room …
Somewhere in this world of discarded humans.
Rocking on her chair.
Muttering phrases of “could have been” …
Knowing she will never see her children again before she dies.
For in her love were lies.
And in her soul is nothing.
“LOOK AT ME, HOW AWESOME I AM …”
“The harder people talk about how AWESOME THEY ARE on social media? – the more I realize they are not.” – Dr. Freckles
DANGEROUS TIKTOK BULLSHIT
MR POPEIL
HAIRLESS MONKEYS
“For the first time, we have been able to show, without a shadow of a doubt, that wild primates, with no human interference, consume fruit-containing ethanol …”
ALERT ALERT
SOBER-LIFE SHIT HEADS
These monkeys need help.
Link: https://phys.org/news/2022-03-monkeys-fruit-alcohol-booze.html
Replacing drugs …
“Sober life: replacing one drug with another.” – Dr. Freckles
Dichotomous Thinking
“People bitch and moan about ‘dichotomous thinking’, but THERE IS NOTHING MORE FUCKING DICHOTOMOUS THAN SOBER VS NOT-SOBER.” – Dr. Freckles
TL is LIT (tilt)
“My TL is LIT.” – Dr. Freckles
PSYOP REPELLENT
“Drinking whiskey, aka: PSYOP REPELLENT.” – Dr. Freckles
(hey – maybe this explains the sober-life-bimbo-eruption?)