Month: August 2025

Remember when we used to chase rain monkeys together, and you got hit by that wall of mustard paste, and we smiled … remember that baby?

Remember when the scooter buggy gangs were chasing old whores at the racetrack, and your bumbly-gus dad started shaving crone-gergers at the checkout stand … we promised we’d eke out a life eating sand dabs down by the shore, but the cops kept hassling us and then the sheriff killed our kittens … remember that you FUCK?

REMEMBER when OLD CAPTAIN STAN started hunting widows down by the docks, where harlot mistresses wagered and moral degenerates dig tunnels to fury. Our sky cluster mirage was NOTHING compared to Mexican pie and ruffled old pig vendors. We had too much wine and then washed out. Jizz starved pimps were drilling their frungo-freaks and other geeks to find mystery salad surprise. Remember when that ended, and we had to bury the 9 mercs from the School of the Americas, without honor or pageant or flag?

Remember that time we got lost in the Myst Mountains, and corvid sculptors made our bust for Zeus? We promised we’d cut loose and search for the bent forger rags and journal gags of politicos and other hos snorting the blow with Joe Piscopo? Remember that fucking shit? Or not?

I made you a salmon paste sandwich on wet white bread with lettuce croutons … and you tossed it in my face … remember that … you sunnabidge …

You shoveled the volcano bread into my French poodle, and you doodled as Debra Ray set fire to the roadside pizza joint and then went on that heist with Cherry? Remember what happened when you ran over those 44 Amish people? You were chased for years, and no one shed a tear.

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20250824_REALITY_IS_IMPOSSIBLE.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

Headless Corpse: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=23051

No never whatever kind of need to track ice, ever: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=23045

Alpaca Horror: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=23032

LOGISTICS TRAUMA MONKEY: https://nypost.com/2025/08/21/us-news/illegal-immigrant-trucker-charged-in-deadly-wreck-flown-back-to-florida-after-he-fled-to-sanctuary-state/

Grotesque: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=23015

191 Corpses: https://planetarystatusreport.com/?p=23008

First the rabbits, now the fucking deer: https://nypost.com/2025/08/22/us-news/freaky-photos-of-black-bubbled-deer-go-viral-after-fears-of-zombie-rabbits-squirrels-spread