“SPACE looks AMAZING in the movies, in real life it’s depressing.” – Dr. Freckles
The Box: Lascelles Abercrombie (1910)
*** this poem was recommended by a new listener
Once upon a time, in the land of Hush-A-Bye,
Around about the wondrous days of yore,
They came across a kind of box
Bound up with chains and locked with locks
And labeled “Kindly do not touch; it’s war.”
***
A decree was issued round about, and all with a flourish and a shout
And a gaily colored mascot tripping lightly on before.
Don’t fiddle with this deadly box,
Or break the chains, or pick the locks.
And please don’t ever play about with war.
***
The children understood. Children happen to be good
And they were just as good around the time of yore.
They didn’t try to pick the locks
Or break into that deadly box.
They never tried to play about with war.
***
Mommies didn’t either; sisters, aunts, grannies neither
‘Cause they were quiet, and sweet, and pretty
In those wondrous days of yore.
Well, very much the same as now,
And not the ones to blame somehow
For opening up that deadly box of war.
***
But someone did. Someone battered in the lid
And spilled the insides out across the floor.
A kind of bouncy, bumpy ball made up of guns and flags
And all the tears, and horror, and death that comes with war.
It bounced right out and went bashing all about,
Bumping into everything in store.
***
And what was sad and most unfair
Was that it didn’t really seem to care
Much who it bumped, or why, or what, or for.
It bumped the children mainly. And I’ll tell you this quite plainly,
It bumps them every day and more, and more,
And leaves them dead, and burned, and dying
Thousands of them sick and crying.
‘Cause when it bumps, it’s really very sore.
***
Now there’s a way to stop the ball. It isn’t difficult at all.
All it takes is wisdom, and I’m absolutely sure
That we can get it back into the box,
And bind the chains, and lock the locks.
But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.
***
Well, that’s the way it all appears, ’cause it’s been bouncing round for years and years
In spite of all the wisdom wizzed since those wondrous days of yore
And the time they came across the box,
Bound up with chains and locked with locks,
And labeled “Kindly do not touch; it’s war.”
“20 BUCK CHUCK”
“Exploding COW with BIRD HERPES” or NOT?
RENAISSANCE FAIR
What if I told you the “renaissance fair” is concealment …
In reality: a sect of GLOOKS went underground in 1466. They determined that the coming modernity was LAME and wanted NOTHING of it … but … they liked wenches and beer … so the Amish path would not work.
ERGO (kingly trumpets): they came up with the “renaissance fair” idea …
And they’ve been hiding there, living there, breeding there, in plain sight … for centuries. The greatest living conspiracy in the history of conspiracies.
A proposed remake plot for that movie Michael Caine was in when he was heavy into cocaine …
Cities and cemeteries and time …
“CITIES: you don’t homestead in a cemetery, pending.” – Dr. Freckles
Nothing left to lose …
“Nothing left to lose but victory.” – Dr. Freckles
How many kilotons …
“I just want to know how many kilotons till the end.” – Dr. Freckles
Making NAZIs …
“Bomber Harris made a LOT of good NAZIs.” -Dr. Freckles
“Worse than DRESDEN …” (is a huge underestimate)
Roughly 2,700 tons of TNT were dropped on Dresden, during the famous WW2 bombing raid. 127 square miles. This raid was considered one of the most horrific of WW2.
Between 25,000 and 70,000 tons of TNT (or 25 to 70 kilotons) have been dropped on GAZA since 10/7. GAZA is roughly 141 square miles.
That’s between 1 and 4 Hiroshimas, if we’re being conservative.
BUT MAGA FREAKS …
HOW MANY FUCKING KILOTONS OF TNT DO YOU NEED TO DROP ON 141 SQUARE MILES TO WIN?
JD Vance says “more”, but in military science that’s called vague.
Just answer that fucking question … if you can’t? – your team is probably losing.
BATTLE BOX …
“If your strategy works, according to your definition of victory? – then you accepted the cost of victory before the battle began.” – Dr. Freckles
IT’S YOU! (again)
Totally not like NAZIs …
SNAKES …
Voting and Disappointment …
“The American system of elections is a cycle of disappointment.” – Dr. Freckles
It really is like Christmas for a lot of people …
You get a couple months of EVENTS …
Then you get together with friends before and AFTER you “vote” …
Some people are immediately disappointed the day of the election.
Everyone is mostly disappointed a year later.
(then they tell you that it can be “fixed” … if you vote again)
Just like Christmas and Santa. Not for adults.
THE ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION … of Blump …
Nothing about yesterday adds up – even if you think part of the prank was having a bullet whizz by Trump’s head …
Me? – I simply don’t trust the sources of information that would allow me to judge.
As a Sovietologist? – I am simply asking THIS QUESTION
WHY ARE THEY SHOWING ME THIS?
(that’s the question)
Here’s my NICEST limited hangout TAKE from yesterday’s Penny Dreadful nonsense:
We are winning the WAR against the MACHINES …
THE CONFESSION of DAN SULLIVAN …
If they ask WHY I DID IT?
… tell’em it was a SNICKERS BAR …
Fun fact about me: I’ve BEEN to PENNSYLVANIA … (it ain’t no picnic …)
I was working on my spider egg farm when a couple ladies, dressed in gray flannel, came up to my camper to talk about SEA-FLOW.
“We were wondering if WE could benefit from spider egg nutrients?”, the blonde said, as she massaged her boovula through her classy skirt. She had a case, what looked like a rifle case, and inside was a PLOTON GUN that fired WHALE JIZZ at 34% the speed of 12 million flamingoes … this was getting interesting.
“We will let you rub squirrel oil on our breasts as we ungunjoolate our boovulas, with only underwear on, and you can do a bunch of cocaine … BUT … you need to do this thing …”
And we talked about the THING: schedules and linkups and meetings and midnight phone calls over pay phones … burners and churners … it was LIT. We put on Golden Earring’s Twilight Zone, and that’s when the brunette with the really BIG JUGS unleased them and the coke they had … and then it got crazy …
10K CLOCK (and other Times of Noah bullshit)
SPOILER ALERT: it won’t last 10,000 years …
Fishermen and Hunters
“Great fishermen and hunters are also great ecologists.” – Dr. freckles
Built to last …
“Have you noticed? – nothing built in the last few decades is BUILT to LAST.” – Dr. Freckles