May 2022 - PLANETARY STATUS REPORT!

MP3: https://planetarystatusreport.com/mp3/20220510_THAT_IS_NICE.mp3

Donate: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/doctorfreckles

That job interview in the woods …

Didn’t work out.
I was kicked out of the woods.
Don’t want to talk about it.
Might talk about it in the future.

Definitely not a job for me.

THE END

That’s nice …

I need to be nicer and shit … and talk about more mainstream bullshit … so my podcast does better:

Talk up CRYPTO!
Talk up investing … like in TESLA or AMAZON or TWITTER!
Talk about eating shellfish right from the ocean …
Talk about how lovely the skies are, and how they are so completely, totally, real … ya know man?
Talk about how healthy the trees and plants look … really healthy … vibrant.
Talk about Summertime and daffodils and parrot oils and musks …
Christmas is right around the corner … that’s nice.
I might buy a house, then sell it, use that money and more loans to buy more homes, sell those … buy more homes … and then complain about homeless people … because it’s so cozy.
Talk about kale … “All About Kale” hour …
Talk about that colonoscopy or anal probe I got … and how it’s nice to see what’s down there.
Talk about the RONA, and how it almost destroyed everything, but then it didn’t … and how nice it was that Brownian motion ceased to be a thing during the pandemic, hence the non-random distribution of a random phenomena … and those coffee filters.
Talk about brick oven pizzas … amirite?
My electric vehicle? – that’s good …
Talk about how bad Putin is … and how great the US military is … at stuff.
Lots of nice things to talk about …
I can’t wait for nuclear war … it will be more exciting than the BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS … just really great.
Talk about the coming age of TOOVLOZ, when elf type mistress whores sell their “wares” near the old abandoned fireworks factory, as kief-squirrels feed on the decaying corpses of old Insane Clown Posse turbit jergs … good times.
Talk about that weird fog that settles upon the grounds at night … weird and cold and burns your lungs … it’s not like it’s a thing, right? … it’s not there, but it is … you see the etch-a-sketch happening above you, but your glowing rectangle tells you to ignore the perception and adhere to the general obedience.
Talk about the kettle angels and the various new parasites crawling into people’s ears at night … they lay eggs in your occipital lobe, causing neural scarring, brain damage, gleeptus and fronctalburingalitus … really bad “hershey squirts” and all human faces are replaced with David Hasselhoff’s face.
Quivering mangrove spiders, following a hearty meal of peasant, concern themselves with the great space bridge to Venus. As the night falls, Heclus, the warrior, wearing nothing but a leather codpiece, swaggers his way to cleansing pool. There he sees Lustra, the bustress, the one of g-strings, rubbing ancient oils upon her melons … this is nice.
Just, really nice stuff … to feel good about being great … and having warm feelings about really swell shit …